Am I barking up the wrong tree?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2014 1:58 PM GMT
    Does anyone else have trouble with guys like me? I feel like I am desperate and want to get serious with a guy and fall in love (cringe - I know). But everytime I go on the sites I know of (manhunt, grindr) all I get is 'up for fun?'. Where are all the good looking nice guys who don't just want 'fun'?!

    Anyway, I met a guy on grindr who I really like - good looking, makes me laugh, makes me have butterflies. But more recently he is quiet and doesn't respond much to messages - only periodically and even then only with one word answers. He doesn't answer his phone to calls but still does text back (but often after a long time). I'm confused with what he thinks of me/wants etc. What do you think? Am I wasting my time? I feel a bit exhausted with all the effort I am making and it seems very one-sided from my end.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 15, 2014 2:36 PM GMT
    it sucks, but if he's not responding much to your txts and doesn't take ur calls--- He's not into it. It doesn't sound like he's into you like you're into him.

    I feel like guys that like you-- will take ur calls and respond to your texts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2014 2:47 PM GMT
    He's probably not into you, I know the feeling icon_cry.gif. Whatever you do, don't be overly desperate by persistently calling him or texting him, just move on to the next guy. Manhunt and Grindr aren't the best places to look for love, try other dating sites? OKC has worked for a couple of friends of mine.
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    Mar 15, 2014 2:54 PM GMT
    If he was a Grindr' booty call, he most likey has moved on to the next. There's probably not a lot of BF/husband material on Grindr'.
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    Mar 15, 2014 4:22 PM GMT
    gymguy2012 said
    Am I wasting my time?


    Yes.

    Try meeting guys IRL instead of online. Or maybe try a site not designed for hookup sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2014 4:33 PM GMT
    Move on, don't let others treat you like that.
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    Mar 15, 2014 5:56 PM GMT
    You're fishing in the wrong pond! Those apps are NOT designed or used by nearly as many guys desiring a relationship as the are a hook up (IE: f#$k you and forget you).

    Trying a dating site like OKCupid or something or better yet, find some groups where guys have common interests with you and join a few. Meet guys for 'other' reasons rather than dating and enjoy meeting guys that have more interest than sex. Meetup.com is a great place to find groups meeting.

    Frustration comes when you're looking in the wrong place for what you're really wanting. I think you've mastered that frustration, now think outside the box (or bed)!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    Oh Honey, you're trying to make him into a husband/bf when you're just his booty call. I mean it's Grindr, don't take it seriously. I think it's fine that you want a serious relationship bf but you have to draw the line somewhere and don't come off as too desperate or too available. Shoot, I don't text or call guys back if I'm not into them. Take it from me, he's not that interested in you. Move On.
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    Mar 16, 2014 9:54 AM GMT
    eb925guy saidYou're fishing in the wrong pond! Those apps are NOT designed or used by nearly as many guys desiring a relationship as the are a hook up (IE: f#$k you and forget you).

    Trying a dating site like OKCupid or something or better yet, find some groups where guys have common interests with you and join a few. Meet guys for 'other' reasons rather than dating and enjoy meeting guys that have more interest than sex. Meetup.com is a great place to find groups meeting.

    Frustration comes when you're looking in the wrong place for what you're really wanting. I think you've mastered that frustration, now think outside the box (or bed)!


    This; he beat me to it!

    Grindr and Manhunt, lets put it this way - for every one guy that hits you up for a genuine, innocent drink/coffee/date/conversation, you'll probably have to get through over 20 (and that's not even factoring in whether or not you'd be interested in the one guy looking for a date). With odds like that, it shouldn't take long to figure out what most people use those websites for.

    As it's been said, expand your horizons a bit and maybe you'll find that good guys are out there, they're just hiding in different places.

    Oh and as for the guy, he's just not that into you; he's probably talking to at least 4 or 5 others. We've all been there; there are more/bigger fish in the ocean.
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    Mar 16, 2014 1:27 PM GMT
    its weird that grindr is full of hook ups yet whenever i look on this site its got tonnes of sweet guys pissed off at grindr being full of hook ups xD
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    Mar 16, 2014 9:55 PM GMT
    jackooh saidits weird that grindr is full of hook ups yet whenever i look on this site its got tonnes of sweet guys pissed off at grindr being full of hook ups xD


    because all gay men want boyfriends complex? icon_eek.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 20, 2014 8:17 AM GMT
    Like everyone said, he's just not into you. We've all been there. I remember when it happened to me, drove me kind of crazy in my head... lol You just have to move on and like a lot of guys have said, try looking for a guy in a non-sexualized place/site. I know it's difficult IRL since it's hard to know if the guy you take an interest in is gay or not but breaking away from the hookup sites might do some good. OKC might work (I personally didn't have luck but I've heard lots of people found their mate there or at least, some casual dates).

    Good luck!