Thom1993 saidWhat would a younger guy need to do or be like for you to consider a real relationship?
I think so long as two guys are caught in seeing one another as either "older" or "younger" they can't develop a real relationship. This is difficult because in a May/December relationship, there is a certain reality to the fact that one is either "younger" or "older". It's part of the dynamic that makes it exciting for both. But, if either one only relates to the other not as a real human being but as a "type"--an image--then the relationship can't go very far.
I don't know if what I'm trying to say makes sense. I'm not quite sure how to put it into words. Its like, I would be flattered if a younger man found me interesting and attractive, on one hand, but if they did so only because I was "older," because I fulfilled some pre-determined category in their mind, then at a certain point I'm going to feel objectified by that and feel like I'm not really being seen for myself. I would assume most younger guys would feel the same way from the other side of the equation. Do you want me to love you for who you are or for the fact you're "younger"?
It is difficult for guys to really get to know one another because we're complicated beings. Most of us don't have a clue even about ourselves, let alone anyone else. I mean we all have personalities and our personalities are multifaceted. Some parts of ourselves we may know very well but other parts not so much. Some parts may be very attractive, others boring, some downright ugly or scary. And how do these different personalities fit together? And especially how do they fit together when one is so young it hasn't fully developed yet and the other so developed it has become almost set in stone, no longer flexible and growing?
I would need a younger man who was willing to think about these things, be open to exploring questions like these while, at the same time, not taking them overly seriously. I would need someone who could love me for *all* that I am and who would feel comfortable sharing all that he is with me.
This isn't a generalization, though. Everyone is different. I'm just talking about how I see it.