Need help bottoming

  • wolfpackpride

    Posts: 6

    Mar 21, 2014 8:10 PM GMT
    I'm still kind of new to bottoming, I've done it less than ten times. the guy who I have done it with mostly was smaller, so sometimes I couldn't even really tell if it was in, it was more of a mental enjoyment for me. Now that I am trying to bottom for bigger guys, I can't take it for more than maybe ten minutes. I am way too tight, and need to loosen up. I have heard that butt plugs are a good way to loosen up throughout the day, does anybody know if this helps? Was thinking about getting a three set and trying to work up from small to large.

    Another issue is that my biggest fear is for a "Mess" to happen, I try to have a bowel movement to clean myself out before hand, but sometimes it's heat of the moment. Is there any way to prevent that?

    Also, any other advice is welcome. I'm pretty good at giving head, I've finished guys with just my mouth plenty of times. I don't have as much experience bottoming though, so any advice is welcome. For example I read that you're supposed to push out as he pushes in? Any comments on this or any other advice? The basics?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
    Re the 'mess' you mentioned I use a pipette with water before I do stuff just to clean inside. If you eat reasonably well it should be relatively cleaner than say if you eat a load of junk food.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 21, 2014 8:20 PM GMT
    I posted a thread with an educational video regarding how to avoid the nightmare of a putrid fuck but it got deleted by the admins.

    Really is too bad, too.

    But if you search on youtube for: "GAY SEX is it really as stinky and gross as they say?" you'll find it.

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2014 10:21 PM GMT
    Bump

    Hopefully you'll get a couple more responses icon_smile.gif
  • wolfpackpride

    Posts: 6

    Mar 21, 2014 10:50 PM GMT
    Thank you lol, I was actually really more talking about loosening up. Thank you for the advice lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2014 10:53 PM GMT
    All valid concerns. I recall after coming out and my first experience with topping a guy, it was disgusting. The guy was not clean, the smell was horrific and I couldn't consider doing it again for the longest time.

    Even now I worry about it. I also have the same 'short time' issues. I think because I need more practice. So much to learn at any age!

    Let me know what you learn, I think, even at my age, I could learn from it. Coming out late in life doesn't always have it's advantages .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 21, 2014 11:06 PM GMT
    Just relax
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Mar 22, 2014 12:40 AM GMT
    JarIan saidJust relax


    This.

    Your anal sphincter is controlled by your brain and your reflexes. It's naturally tight to keep everything in your lower intestine from spilling out when you least expect it. When you go to the bathroom, it relaxes and magic happens. You have to learn to control that sensation when you're NOT going to the bathroom.

    The person who is topping you should also help make you feel relaxed and receptive to the idea of having him inside you *ba dum tsch*. It also takes time to get it in, you can't just jam it in and ram away. As you get more relaxed, you should not become tighter. If you're stressed and not enjoying it, then you'll tense up and things will become uncomfortable.

    That being said, butt plugs can be a butt load of fun so consider getting some just to let you get more in tune with the feelings down there when you're by yourself and you CAN relax. I would caution against keeping them in "throughout the day" as you suggest and if you want to use them to just "loosen up" à la Sean Cody use them just before the main event, or even as foreplay.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Mar 22, 2014 1:03 AM GMT
    Take two roofies and call me in the morning. I'll tell ya how it went. icon_wink.gif



    just kidding!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2014 1:04 AM GMT
    Bunjamon said
    JarIan saidJust relax


    This.

    Your anal sphincter is controlled by your brain and your reflexes. It's naturally tight to keep everything in your lower intestine from spilling out when you least expect it. When you go to the bathroom, it relaxes and magic happens. You have to learn to control that sensation when you're NOT going to the bathroom.

    The person who is topping you should also help make you feel relaxed and receptive to the idea of having him inside you *ba dum tsch*. It also takes time to get it in, you can't just jam it in and ram away. As you get more relaxed, you should not become tighter. If you're stressed and not enjoying it, then you'll tense up and things will become uncomfortable.

    That being said, butt plugs can be a butt load of fun so consider getting some just to let you get more in tune with the feelings down there when you're by yourself and you CAN relax. I would caution against keeping them in "throughout the day" as you suggest and if you want to use them to just "loosen up" à la Sean Cody use them just before the main event, or even as foreplay.


    Agreed
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 22, 2014 1:05 AM GMT
    wolfpackzack saidThank you lol, I was actually really more talking about loosening up. Thank you for the advice lol
    Well, surely you know dildos of various sizes have been invented, right? They're a tad pricey, though and you have to stock up on the Astroglide. You can always check out the produce department at the local grocery, too. Just be sure you wash your veggies thoroughly. HINT: Let them soak in warm water to warm up to near body temperature and if you're concerned about, errm, nasty stuff, you can always practice in the shower or bath tub.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Mar 22, 2014 1:08 AM GMT
    MikeW said
    wolfpackzack saidThank you lol, I was actually really more talking about loosening up. Thank you for the advice lol
    Well, surely you know dildos of various sizes have been invented, right? They're a tad pricey, though and you have to stock up on the Astroglide. You can always check out the produce department at the local grocery, too. Just be sure you wash your veggies thoroughly. HINT: Let them soak in warm water to warm up to near body temperature and if you're concerned about, errm, nasty stuff, you can always practice in the shower or bath tub.



    Better yet, put a condom on the dildo. Easier clean up if there is a mess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2014 4:43 PM GMT
    Lube, lube, lube!!! The more the better, and reapply during sex.

    And of course a latex-safe lube, because you're gonna be having him use a condom. ALWAYS!
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Mar 23, 2014 6:48 PM GMT
    MikeW saidI posted a thread with an educational video regarding how to avoid the nightmare of a putrid fuck but it got deleted by the admins.

    Really is too bad, too.

    But if you search on youtube for: "GAY SEX is it really as stinky and gross as they say?" you'll find it.

    Good luck.

    Tempting to search but im scared!
    EDIT: I think I found the video... wtf lol. it is sorta funny.