would this be a motive to brake up with ur bf?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2014 10:32 AM GMT
    So today is my birthday, im making 22 years.Getting kinda old,or at least i feel very old lol. All my friends remembers my birthday, even people i didn't expected to remember have rememberd my birthday expect my bf,he didn't call me, he didn't say anything.I told him a few weeks now that my birthday is on 22 because he forgot,thing is we been dating for a year now and we're in a difficult place right now,i love him very much but...how should i deal with the fact that he doesn't know its my birthday today, is this a motive to brake up with him? should i see it as a sign that he doesn't care?....he did cheat on me 2 times...advice?I always chose him, loved him...but i feel like recently he isnt anymore the guy i loved once, or maybe im not what he needs anymore icon_sad.gif...still the day isnt over, maybe im just freaking out for nothing...
  • PolitiMAC

    Posts: 728

    Mar 22, 2014 11:04 AM GMT
    Well, you know the facts better than anyone here, but the cheating two times thing speaks volumes to me.

    By itself, the not remembering the birthday part is not so bad, but with the other stuff? It COULD add up.

    Your judgement though icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 22, 2014 11:34 AM GMT
    ty ^_^
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    Mar 22, 2014 12:59 PM GMT
    Hugs

    Happy birthday

    Some of us don't get into Birthdays, for whatever reasons. It was something my man had to deal with and he reminds me when family members birthdays are coming up, going so far as sending flowers to my sisters for me.

    Who knows; the day is still young.
    Maybe he'll surprise you with a nice dinner.
    P.M. me his phone number--I'll send him a random text.
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    Mar 22, 2014 5:03 PM GMT
    yea i was thinking "meh shit happens" but 'cheated on you 2 times' you slung in there at the end, freakin hell dump that asshole! it may hurt a lot but you'll be better off in the grand scheme of things
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    Mar 22, 2014 5:50 PM GMT
    There might be something stressful going on meaning he temporarily forgot. It's only a suggestion though.

    Happy birthday!!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 22, 2014 6:21 PM GMT
    It sounds like he's taking you for granted. Why do you love him, if he's cheating on you???

    As for feeling old at 22, that's just because you're not a kid anymore. Once you realize that your peers aren't teenagers, but other adults, you're realize that most of us think you're just a baby!!! And I mean that as a compliment. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 22, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    thanks guys, its been a wonderful day even if my bf forgot about me it was still nice seeing my family and friends were there for me, still...im guessing i love someone who i lost way to many times...maybe its time to move on from this situation icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 22, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    If he has cheated on you twice, I don't know why pure still with him, regardless of him remembering or forgetting your birthday. What you should be thinking instead is "do I love and respect myself to let a guy cheat on me twice and yet still give him a chance?"

    If he cared about you more, he would think of you before doing that. He has done it because he plays the risk in his head, kinda like gambling losing you because of an hour of pleasure. Whatever your choice is, I wish you good luck.
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    Mar 23, 2014 11:40 AM GMT
    he now hates me for reminding me about my birthday, he actually didnt even say to me happy birthday at least after i told him its my birthday...i never known someone could be so heartless icon_sad.gif...i guess there is no saving in this...everything is ruined icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 23, 2014 11:47 AM GMT
    Unless you are 7 years old, birthdays just don't matter. Stop being a whiney child.
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    Mar 23, 2014 1:20 PM GMT
    really cheated on you twice and him forgetting your birthday is the nail in the fucking coffin?! icon_rolleyes.gif Priorities dude!
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    Mar 23, 2014 6:47 PM GMT
    ChrisMD saidhe now hates me for reminding me about my birthday, he actually didnt even say to me happy birthday at least after i told him its my birthday...i never known someone could be so heartless icon_sad.gif...i guess there is no saving in this...everything is ruined icon_sad.gif


    You need to break up with him; no if's or but's. Only after that will you realize he's probably a very manipulative and emotionally exhausting person. You also need some growing up to do in the neediness department. It's nice to want romance and all that stuff, but remember to never sacrifice yourself or your happiness for someone. It's part of your health too.
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    Mar 23, 2014 10:07 PM GMT
    Six years into my past relationship, my former partner forgot my birthday. Now he could remember everybody else's birthday, anniversary, special events...but when it came to me...not so much.

    He called and said he was going out to dinner with co-workers, then he brought co-workers by the house for drinks. While they had drinks, I simply removed my ring and told him it was over. I told his co-workers it was my birthday and than he forgot again. His co-worker apologized saying they had been out celebrating her work anniversary. I said that is exactly why it is over.

    I never looked back or wanted him back.

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    Mar 23, 2014 10:36 PM GMT
    DTOBIN2013 saidSix years into my past relationship, my former partner forgot my birthday. Now he could remember everybody else's birthday, anniversary, special events...but when it came to me...not so much.

    He called and said he was going out to dinner with co-workers, then he brought co-workers by the house for drinks. While they had drinks, I simply removed my ring and told him it was over. I told his co-workers it was my birthday and than he forgot again. His co-worker apologized saying they had been out celebrating her work anniversary. I said that is exactly why it is over.

    I never looked back or wanted him back.

    wow...thats fucked up...i guess you know best how i feel...i cant understand these people icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 23, 2014 10:37 PM GMT
    LC92 said
    ChrisMD saidhe now hates me for reminding me about my birthday, he actually didnt even say to me happy birthday at least after i told him its my birthday...i never known someone could be so heartless icon_sad.gif...i guess there is no saving in this...everything is ruined icon_sad.gif


    You need to break up with him; no if's or but's. Only after that will you realize he's probably a very manipulative and emotionally exhausting person. You also need some growing up to do in the neediness department. It's nice to want romance and all that stuff, but remember to never sacrifice yourself or your happiness for someone. It's part of your health too.
    true, but if it would be as simple as saying so icon_smile.gif...
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    Mar 23, 2014 10:39 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidUnless you are 7 years old, birthdays just don't matter. Stop being a whiney child.
    im not a whiney child lol i just dont know how to deal with this situation...clearly im doing something wrong that he is always lacking attention or maybe im not what he needs anymore...
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    Mar 23, 2014 11:11 PM GMT
    PolitiMAC saidWell, you know the facts better than anyone here, but the cheating two times thing speaks volumes to me.

    By itself, the not remembering the birthday part is not so bad, but with the other stuff? It COULD add up.

    Your judgement though icon_biggrin.gif


    +1

    The cheating twice would bother me MUCH more than a forgotten birthday.

    I get that he's your BF and he should Atleast try and remember your B-Day but it doesn't seem like he's trying to get the 'Best BF of the year' award. .
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    Mar 23, 2014 11:20 PM GMT
    Happy Birthday a day late.


    Run...it's your choice but I'd run sooner than later.
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    Mar 24, 2014 9:22 AM GMT
    Varus saidreally cheated on you twice and him forgetting your birthday is the nail in the fucking coffin?! icon_rolleyes.gif Priorities dude!


    My thoughts exactly.

    If you let him get away with cheating on you twice, do you really have to sit and wonder why he didn't remember your birthday?

    We accept the love we think we deserve.
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    Mar 25, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
    He sounds like a narcissist, maybe sociopathic too.

    Also, look up "adult attachment style."I'm studying Psychology and I can tell you this might be an anxious attachment(you) with a dismissive (him). I'm sorry but the odds of this relationship getting better are slim. The sooner you start trying to slowly gettting away from him, the healthier. You probably need validation from him because you are insecure (and clingy, which makes him pull away more). What you need to do is learn to be your own person and not depend on a cheater to make you feel whole. You were born alone and die alone; he is not going to make you greater.
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    Mar 25, 2014 2:07 AM GMT
    LC92 saidHe sounds like a narcissist, maybe sociopathic too.

    Also, look up "adult attachment style."I'm studying Psychology and I can tell you this might be an anxious attachment(you) with a dismissive (him). I'm sorry but the odds of this relationship getting better are slim. The sooner you start trying to slowly gettting away from him, the healthier. You probably need validation from him because you are insecure (and clingy, which makes him pull away more). What you need to do is learn to be your own person and not depend on a cheater to make you feel whole. You were born alone and die alone; he is not going to make you greater.


    Nice cheery message there at the end there icon_razz.gif

    To the OP - he cheated twice but if you forgave him then you have to let go of that and not bring it up because that's a bit unfair.

    So forgetting the cheating one sec he just forgot your birthday which sucks but there could be various reasons for that like being stressed, he may be rubbish remembering important dates (like I nearly missed my own birthday once) or he may not have realised it was important to you.

    I'm only offering the alternative view because breaking up with someone may feel liberating in the short term but it's also kinda lonely too icon_sad.gif