NO! I AM NOT TEASING YOU......!!

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    Dec 26, 2008 9:14 AM GMT
    I thought I'll put this as a new topic rather than at the foot of Philahottie's thread about Judgemental people, where I posted a message saying that I felt judged by some members of Real Jock for being a Christian.
    In that thread, Paradose brought up my Myspace link and quoted in full my blog under "General". In it I wrote, "I found THE SUBJECT of homosexuality quite fascinating..." This means that I'm refering to an abstract topic of interest and it was not meant to be taken personally. I also labled myself both as Straight and Pseudosexual, which means that I have a homosexual fetish for certain men (including those on my Hot List), but stop at any physical contact. Now Tonyvoyager wants me out of RJ, which means that not only all my posts will disappear, but all contributions to my threads will also vanish, as if I had never joined RJ in the first place. Would RJ members really benefit, or does discussions of this nature too hard to participate without bringing emotions into it?
    When I joined RJ, I came in with some prejudices, including the faulty beliefs that gays should not raise children and no other animals are homosexual. Here I will praise Sedative. Although young enough to be my son, he was the only one through private emailing to stand up and face me head on. The direct result of this was to seriously re-think on these issues, with the help of the Wikipedia website, and to say "Sorry, I was wrong." Unfortunately, he still believes that I hadn't changed at all but still stuck in my old ways. Yet I like him personally even if he hates me and is angry with me. Sedative is one, if I could, invite to a bar, buy him a drink and say, "Come let's talk and resolve this!"
    Now here is a truth about myself which makes me blush with shame and embarrassment, I feel that now is the time to confess.
    In 2005, after receiving counselling from a Psychologist, I discovered that I have Aspergers Syndrome, a lifelong condition related to Autism, wherefore there is no cure. It is Aspergers Syndrome which is the driving force behind everything I do, including posting on the Internet.
    Finally, I want to apologise and say sorry for any upset I have caused.
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    Dec 26, 2008 11:20 AM GMT
    I have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.
  • HndsmKansan

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    Dec 26, 2008 1:19 PM GMT
    Well I missed the discussion on the thread referenced.

    I think you shouldn't be removed from RJ if you express your views without
    condemning others for disagreement with you. If your views are just hurtful and without merit, its an RJ administrative issue and you (or I) should be removed.

    I consider participation here not as a right, but as a privelege. I hope all keep that in mind when interacting with others. Its easy to let things get out of control.
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    Dec 26, 2008 1:33 PM GMT
    NotThatOld,

    I e-mailed you a while back concerning some of your posts. You seemed to be very truthful in your response and I grew to understand you a little more and why you think the way you do. If memory serves me right, you were brought up Baptist--not an easy religion to overcome. Realize though: You can believe in God, but not religion. What I mean is I have come to believe that humans have corrupted the institution of religion, not God. In one of your posts, you mentioned you feel judged by other sometimes because you are a Christian. Yes people do sometimes judge others based on their religion--yet I think you were attacked because of some of your views (which line up with the traditional Evangelical way of thinking).

    I understand that gay people, including myself, are sensitive to certain subjects... especially those which have been supported by research (i.e. gay adoption does not harm children; animals do have homosexual relations). Understand, that on a gay website, it is hard for most of us to accept your views as being legit especially when it attacks the core of our belief of what is means to be gay and why gay people are indeed gay.

    You have stated that you were wrong in some of your post. This is admirable. You also have had the courage to state your disability--Aspersers. You have been consistent with your posts and your life history

    However, I am concerned with a statement from your MySpace page:

    "By posting topics which were meant to stir controversy, I was able to discover their amazing way of thinking... Therefore I believe that intermingling with gays is just as okay as with the straight crowd, whether they know God or not."

    You are indeed welcome here, and I wish for you to stay if I my suspicion is wrong, but I wonder: WHAT ARE YOUR TRUE MOTIVES ON THIS SITE?

    Honestly, I pity you. I pity you because I believe you are gay, yet do not allow yourself the pleasure of having a relationship with a man... one that includes the natural human interaction of sex. Religion, not God, has brainwashed your mind. You have been taught not to question the Bible and think for yourself it seems. I believe you are opening your mind more, yet I feel bad that you may never find true love out of guilt from religion. Christians, like any religion, like having power and influence over others. If people question the core of their code, the Bible, their power system starts to crumble.

    Now your disability may play into this, which is understandable. You also told me you never went to college... which is fine, but puts you at a slight disadvantage sometimes. Try to learn how to do research "the right way" as well. Wikipedia is a good starting point for info... but not sufficient enough for a science argument.

    I hope my suspicions are wrong about you, and I hope you can clarify those statements I copied from your MySpace page.

    Chris
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    Dec 26, 2008 1:37 PM GMT
    paradox saidI have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.


    I hope that wasn't a mocking joke. Whether or not you believe NotThatOld, is beside the point--those with Aspergers have a lot on their plate I'm sure, and are not able to have the seem luxeries as "normal" people.
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    Dec 26, 2008 1:51 PM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 said
    paradox saidI have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.


    I hope that wasn't a mocking joke. Whether or not you believe NotThatOld, is beside the point--those with Aspergers have a lot on their plate I'm sure, and are not able to have the seem luxeries as "normal" people.


    This isn't the first time I've seen someone rationalize his toxic online behavior as being caused by Aspergers. My response is not so much mockery, but a snarky facetious dismissal.
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    Dec 26, 2008 2:01 PM GMT
    paradox said
    cjcscuba1984 said
    paradox saidI have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.


    I hope that wasn't a mocking joke. Whether or not you believe NotThatOld, is beside the point--those with Aspergers have a lot on their plate I'm sure, and are not able to have the seem luxeries as "normal" people.


    This isn't the first time I've seen someone rationalize his toxic online behavior as being caused by Aspergers. My response is not so much mockery, but a snarky facetious dismissal.


    okay... just making sure lol




    Not that I'm the "Respect Aspergers Police"--though it is a possibility NotThatOld may INDEED have the disability. If so, could "understanding" work itself into the situation?
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    Dec 26, 2008 3:55 PM GMT

    Well, Asperger's may explain your tendency to only understand the bible in a literal sense, but there's a considerable movement to explain the condition as a difference in personality rather than a disability.

    You're bright and articulate - and one of your less endearing traits is to have others underestimate you.
    Post secondary education is no indicator of a person's intelligence. Brilliant people abound that never had the money, opportunity or patience for education past grade school. Einstein was one.

    Perhaps being 'pushed and shoved' over your beliefs and expression of them, as well as your application of them is making you understand what it's like to be marginalized, as gays are every day around the world, yes?

    What offended us reading your MySpace text is that you're coming across as a straight 'gay expert' which is, erm, less than appealing.

    We don't think you should be barred from the site, though your rather devious approach in creating topics to 'stir controversy' wastes everyone's time and energy.

    If you treat others sincerely, they will reciprocate, you know.

    It's all about respect. Many here have read the Bible, the Qu'ran and the Tonakh and other religious tomes, then had to put them aside in order to understand God and their personal relationship with God without the hindrance and myopic chains of limited convoluted text. It's a big wide world in a big wide universe, join it NotThatOld.



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    Dec 26, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    you are worrying too much. If people don't like what you say, they mostly argue and move on or just ignore you. I don't think anyone is out to get you.

    As far as sedative, he just just does not like the oppressive nature of organized religion.

    I have a feeling there are lots of syndrome's around here. But also like I have said, I think some gay people have complexes and psychological problems related to the way society and religions in particular do not accept them and outright denigrates them. In other words the some problems non-gays have with gays are caused by non-gays (especially religious) in the first place.
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    Dec 26, 2008 7:06 PM GMT
    Chris, excellent and thoughtful reply. You explicitly summed up what I was thinking.
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    Dec 26, 2008 7:12 PM GMT
    Great response MeninLove (Doug?).

    I too am not about sending NotThatOld away. We all come here for a reason, which I think is partially to connect to others. In that, I say that we are all searching to be held and welcomed. And we can only feel welcomed when we can reveal our feelings and have them heard. You said, "Would RJ members really benefit, or does discussions of this nature too hard to participate without bringing emotions into it?" I would counter that emotions are necessary to all discussions and they are what allow us to hear another perspective. Bring on the affect, cause that's what we need to hear you, to hear what is utmost on your mind and heart.
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    Dec 26, 2008 10:27 PM GMT

    brady527 said, "Great response MeninLove (Doug?). "


    this time, yesicon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
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    Dec 26, 2008 10:31 PM GMT

    Finally, I want to apologise and say sorry for any upset I have caused.
    [/quote]

    You sound lke one classy guy......nice to read your post.
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    Dec 26, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    I don't know about any of this stuff, but, I felt compelled to provide a visual.

    asparagus-stems-white-green-purple-plus-
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    Dec 27, 2008 12:13 AM GMT
    First, to thank Cjcscuba for his thought-provoking post, and secondly to Meninlove for his. Just to say that Tim LaHaye wrote the book and according to his own experience in counselling gays over the years, (so he writes) he, not me, is the expert in the field. The Myspace post I will now amend, and I hope to make it less offensive. As for the difference between God and religion, sheepishly I have to admit that some of the worst people I have come across were church-goers, especially the Church of England, where the status quo was sought well above spiritual things.. But I have also came across one extremely bitchy, self-centred and arrogant woman who was a sworn atheist (and I have heard that she was refused a renewal of her contract because of her attitude).
    I first heard of Aspergers Syndrome, not at the Psychologist's desk but while dining with friends at a restaurant. At first I sincerely thought that the topic discussed was a vegetable!
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    Dec 27, 2008 12:30 AM GMT
    does Aspergers Syndrome account for that hair, too?
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    Dec 27, 2008 12:59 AM GMT
    paradox saidI have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.


    I thought it was the Assburgers!
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    Dec 27, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
    NotThatOldFinally, I want to apologise and say sorry for any upset I have caused.


    Don't worry, it's RealJock, not Real Life. In my opinion it's far harder to cause offense/upset people online than face to face. Although it's always nice to be nice.

    Aspergers is nothing to be ashamed of.
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    Dec 27, 2008 1:50 AM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 said
    paradox saidI have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.


    I hope that wasn't a mocking joke. Whether or not you believe NotThatOld, is beside the point--those with Aspergers have a lot on their plate I'm sure, and are not able to have the seem luxeries as "normal" people.


    I thought that joke was funny and laughed out loud. What are you gonna do now huh bitch?

    Fyi I'm bipolar so don't blame me when I flame everyone; it's because of my disease. I love you. FUCK YOU! I mean love.
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    Dec 27, 2008 2:13 AM GMT
    jakebenson said
    cjcscuba1984 said
    paradox saidI have Asparagus Syndrome, a life long, incurable condition that makes my urine smell awful when I eat asparagus.


    I hope that wasn't a mocking joke. Whether or not you believe NotThatOld, is beside the point--those with Aspergers have a lot on their plate I'm sure, and are not able to have the seem luxeries as "normal" people.


    I thought that joke was funny and laughed out loud. What are you gonna do now huh bitch?

    Fyi I'm bipolar so don't blame me when I flame everyone; it's because of my disease. I love you. FUCK YOU! I mean love.



    hahaha I have OCD... big time. And I'll obsess over whether or nor you meant what you said....sorry for making you mad..icon_cry.gif.*need to go worry now about a guy who hates me--even though we will never meet*
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    Dec 27, 2008 2:43 AM GMT


    Thanks, NotThatOld, we'd like to point out that when you say,

    "Just to say that Tim LaHaye wrote the book and according to his own experience in counselling gays over the years, (so he writes) he, not me, is the expert in the field."

    You'd be quite wrong there, though while no expert, your personal experience here is swiftly outweighing anything Mr LaHaye ever had to offer. Give yourself a pat on the back for 'facing the music' here (heheh) and that you're learning about gays in a setting unencumbered by a psychologist's or psychiatrist's interviewing 'formula', and THAT'S something God, (as you, like myself, believe in God), may want for you.

    We'll qualify that last by saying there are excellent psychologists and psychiatrists that are creative, empathetic, realistic and think outside the box but Mr LaHaye isn't one of that lofty group!

    -Doug
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    Dec 27, 2008 4:00 AM GMT
    There are some guys here who are doing their best to respond to your bizarre posts in an understanding and compassionate way. I used to be one of them. But you know what changed?

    I lost all my trust for you.

    When the MySpace revelation came out I felt conned and betrayed - and angry that I had wasted my time trying to connect with you when in your own words, 'provoking' me was part of some sort of weird sociological experiment you were engaged in to figure out how us infidel fags think and what makes us tick.

    My suggestion that you be removed from the site was based on the fact that you identified yourself as straight and married on your MySpace page and that you explicitly stated you joined RealJock to study gay men like they were some new form of undiscovered chimpanzee. That is both patronising and offensive. I do not think these are valid reasons to be a RealJock member. I have not contacted the RJ administrators about this - frankly I'm not that invested - and who knows, by then you might have multiple personality disorder to explain your different aliases on both sites.

    So now you pop up with this Asberger's Syndrome. Who knows if you really have this diagnosis - and if so, isn't it a bit convenient for it to crop up now? Besides, Asperger's doesn't make people shady and duplicitious, and I have never heard of people with Asperger's feeling compelled to 'post on the net'.

    Maybe I'm completely wrong about you, and you really are a fumbling, sexually confused being whose ability to interact and communicate socially is impacted by psychiatric disabilty. If so I apologise sincerely. But for now I'm trusting my instincts - I do not trust you and I suspect your motives for being here.

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    Dec 27, 2008 4:28 AM GMT
    Following Doug (MenInLove), I'd say that the shrinks here on RJ are also a pretty solid lot. How we work is different depending on the individual. I know some clinicians that like to study "others" and keep them distant. As if what they are studying does not impact them personally. I'm not a huge fan of this approach to clinical psychology. When someone wants to understand another yet does not examine their own motivations, agenda, or personal history, they lose a significant amount of understanding. I say keep learning about others as it deepens your knowledge of yourself and dissolves that divide between the "me" and the "you."
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    Dec 27, 2008 4:36 AM GMT
    I'm kinda confused, but all I can say is that I welcome ANYONE onto this site. I enjoy it being exclusively gay, but those that are curious are certainly welcome in my opinion. As for everything else, syndrome or otherwise, you have the right to your opinion no matter what it is and while educations is great, you shouldn't be made to feel that embattled by having your beliefs. Good luck!