Bi guys dating/having relationships with other bi guys

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    Mar 24, 2014 7:41 PM GMT
    Hey guys this question is aimed for bi guys but gay men are free to answer as well. I'm curious if bi guys do have relationships with other bi guys. The reason I ask this because recently I've been seeing this bi guy (I'm bi too) and we spent the weekend together and were intimate. We had the "talk" and told him I was crushing on him and was wondering if we could explore and see what happens. He told me that he likes me and we have really good chemistry but he really wants to focus on woman and have a family etc. plus he's moving away in less then a month icon_sad.gif so I kinda expected this. However he said he's polyamorious I.e. Wanting to have 2 wife's and 2 guys kinda thing.

    In my experience most bi guys I meet just want to have relationships with women and guys are just for sex or there the open relationship type. Are there any bi guys out there that are open to dating guys?
    Please share your thoughts and experiences :-)
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    Mar 24, 2014 7:50 PM GMT
    Bah, that was guy was simply immature; he probably would have been "polyamorous" (aka free cheating) whether bi, straight or gay.

    I personally know bisexual men who date both genders without any prejudice and who are very faithful. If there is a problem, it's with the individuals, not the sexual orientation.
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    Mar 24, 2014 8:36 PM GMT
    MisfitToy said
    Ascension saidHey guys this question is aimed for bi guys but gay men are free to answer as well. I'm curious if bi guys do have relationships with other bi guys. The reason I ask this because recently I've been seeing this bi guy (I'm bi too) and we spent the weekend together and were intimate. We had the "talk" and told him I was crushing on him and was wondering if we could explore and see what happens. He told me that he likes me and we have really good chemistry but he really wants to focus on woman and have a family etc. plus he's moving away in less then a month icon_sad.gif so I kinda expected this. However he said he's polyamorious I.e. Wanting to have 2 wife's and 2 guys kinda thing.

    In my experience most bi guys I meet just want to have relationships with women and guys are just for sex or there the open relationship type. Are there any bi guys out there that are open to dating guys?
    Please share your thoughts and experiences :-)


    In October I tried dating a guy who I call bisexual but he says he's straight but then at the same time says gender doesn't matter but then at the same time says he could never date a man because he wants to have a family with a woman or whatever. I mean it's his life but I honestly wonder whether it's because he's honestly wired like that or the internalized homophobia that's ingrained in him that makes him feel as if a relationship with another man is somehow less worthy than a relationship with a woman.

    And I think it is this reason that keeps many a gay man away from bisexual men because there are A LOT of men like this. And yes bi-erasure and biphobia is real and it happens but I don't think it's fair to ask gay men to pretend that this is only a small minority when it's not. At the same time we should probably be more forgiving and open minded to those who are willing to have a relationship with a man and they themselves are bisexual.


    Yeah I don't blame gay men for thinking that way and that's one of the reasons I'm reluctant about dating bi guys. I've tried dating gay men but they unfortunately stereotype me,, it's like I can win :/
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    Mar 24, 2014 8:38 PM GMT
    Rita saidBah, that was guy was simply immature; he probably would have been "polyamorous" (aka free cheating) whether bi, straight or gay.

    I personally know bisexual men who date both genders without any prejudice and who are very faithful. If there is a problem, it's with the individuals, not the sexual orientation.


    Yeah he's 4 years younger than me,, and he's the youngest guy I've been with lol. But it seems rare to find bisexual men that are open to dating guys sigh
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    Mar 25, 2014 1:21 AM GMT
    I guess I'm kind of like that mostly have relationships with girls and like to mess around sometimes with other guys. Ultimately I wish I could have a significant other from both sexes but I know thats not actually possible. That is the worst part about being bi for me because I don't feel totally satisfied by just one sex. icon_neutral.gif
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Mar 25, 2014 1:30 AM GMT
    Ascension saidHey guys this question is aimed for bi guys but gay men are free to answer as well. I'm curious if bi guys do have relationships with other bi guys. The reason I ask this because recently I've been seeing this bi guy (I'm bi too) and we spent the weekend together and were intimate. We had the "talk" and told him I was crushing on him and was wondering if we could explore and see what happens. He told me that he likes me and we have really good chemistry but he really wants to focus on woman and have a family etc. plus he's moving away in less then a month icon_sad.gif so I kinda expected this. However he said he's polyamorious I.e. Wanting to have 2 wife's and 2 guys kinda thing.

    In my experience most bi guys I meet just want to have relationships with women and guys are just for sex or there the open relationship type. Are there any bi guys out there that are open to dating guys?
    Please share your thoughts and experiences :-)


    Disclaimer: I really don't mean to offend if I do and I don't have any issues with bisexual men...except what I'm about to write. lol

    That has always been my issue with bisexual men. All the ones I've met want the whole white picket fence scenario and gay men can't truly offer that at least not in our society. Whenever a bi guy shows his interest in me I always ask what he wants for his future. If he shows that he has a deep desire for the white picket fence thing, then it's off...at least for a relationship anyway.
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    Mar 25, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    bk11789 saidI guess I'm kind of like that mostly have relationships with girls and like to mess around sometimes with other guys. Ultimately I wish I could have a significant other from both sexes but I know thats not actually possible. That is the worst part about being bi for me because I don't feel totally satisfied by just one sex. icon_neutral.gif


    and this is why gay men and straight women usually wont ever date a bi guy. So bi guys don't complain why we wont date you. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 25, 2014 3:31 AM GMT
    Nah. Truely Bi guys that have girlfriends will most likely dump you. I met a guy I wanted a relationship with. He was there just to get his rocks off. No intention on leaving his live-in girlfriend. I told him never end up being gay. A much harder life I think in his situation. He intends to marry her.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 25, 2014 6:41 PM GMT
    Hate to jump on the little bandwagon here but in the experience I've had with bi men is true that at the end of the day, they would definitely want a wife and kids and the happy family. The guy has no chance other than a purely physical relationship.

    I personally try to give people a chance but if it ever came to a relationship, I don't think I'd pursue a bisexual man considering the answer was always the same. Not saying that there aren't bi men who prefer to settle down with a man but they seem very rare.

    But with bi dating bi, I would think that would be good for both because they can talk about their physical likes to both women and men and if they were to try opening their relationship, they could involve the opposite sex too. But I suppose it could be more complicated than it already is if the guy didn't want to get married to a woman but the other did.
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    Mar 25, 2014 10:01 PM GMT
    bk11789 saidI guess I'm kind of like that mostly have relationships with girls and like to mess around sometimes with other guys. Ultimately I wish I could have a significant other from both sexes but I know thats not actually possible. That is the worst part about being bi for me because I don't feel totally satisfied by just one sex. icon_neutral.gif

    Thank you for making me spit out my glass of water. Leviticus 4.20, "thine confused and crazy men shall put thine wieners in any orifice that will suffice, making then nonconformist and noncommittal all at the same time."
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    Mar 26, 2014 8:35 PM GMT
    Hmm interesting stories guys,, so it seems we have 2 types of bi guys; 1. The sterotypical kind that will leave you for a woman 2. One that is open to dating both men and woman (which seems rare). I guess I'm the 2 type which seems rare. I personally believe bi guys who haven't dated guys should at least give it a try,, just to experience it but each their own.
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    Mar 26, 2014 10:14 PM GMT
    Lol I liked hanging out with bi-people like twice - every other time they're like iiiiiiiick to me - maybe sex isn't that important to me or what but, I'm like usually really avoidant of bi-people

    Bi-erasure is a new term for me and veritable

    Is that Leviticus quote true? Lol saxrifice moar pigeons please.
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    Mar 28, 2014 4:06 PM GMT
    Thats okay I'd rather have people think I look like Peter Griffin than have a face that resembles Oprahs ass.
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    Mar 29, 2014 8:01 AM GMT
    This is why I'm reluctant to dating someone whose bisexual. At some point, it just seems like they're going to want the chick - or consider the possibilities of marriage with one and how that makes a more preferable situation than a loving, monogamous relationship with another man. That's just me.

    If you are bisexual and you are leaning towards a relationship with another man, I recommend you date guys that feel the same way - whether they are gay or bisexual. Otherwise, you're going to frequently find yourself in this situation.