Recently Out, New to the Dating Scene

  • ChiGuy999

    Posts: 31

    Mar 26, 2014 1:33 AM GMT
    Hi all,

    Fairly new to the community here, having a bit of a struggle recently and looking for some advice:

    Over the past year or so, I've come out to my friends. I'm (finally) comfortable with who I am, and am more confident than I have ever been in the man I'm becoming...for once I dont feel weighed down by having to act like someone I'm not. icon_smile.gif

    After coming out to my sisters (and seeing how well they responded to it) I decided to come out to my mom—something that didn't go over as well. While I'm upset about that, I'm doing my best to keep the head up and live my life the best I can while coping..

    But what I'm really confused about is the dating scene. Most dudes I've met haven't been interested in an ltr, only for "right now." Am I being ridiculous for wanting a to be in an exclusive relationship at age 22? I don't 'need' a boyfriend, but I'd ideally like to meet someone with similar interests, who's also interested in an ltr...namely someone to take care of, share special times, etc.

    Everything's somewhat new to me, yet I've got the common sense to make reasonable decisions. Just looking for some advice on the matter if anyone is in a similar situation. Thanks all!!

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    Mar 26, 2014 2:40 AM GMT
    I don't think its ridiculous that you're looking for a LTR, I think it's really mature. Grats on coming out too, I'm in a similar situation (actually came out to my mother today). I think at 22 you're still at a really good age to find someone with similar interests for a LTR. The older I get the more I realize that I align with wanting to find someone to love and be loved in return.
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    Mar 26, 2014 4:06 AM GMT
    "Am I being ridiculous for wanting a to be in an exclusive relationship at age 22?"

    Personally I think it is completely ridiculous.
    Maybe because I don't see the point, being to busy with school and work; working on myself, to give that much attention to one guy.
    And maybe I'm just projecting, wishing I was 22 and single again, having had the same dick for 13 years.

    You clearly are not alone in the ridiculous, because this type of thread is made here on the daily by equally young attractive guys; you'd think yall could get together.
    Try meetups and other organizations you're interested in.
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    Mar 26, 2014 9:12 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with a LTR, Do what you wanna do and don't settle for anything less.
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Mar 26, 2014 2:53 PM GMT
    You are definitely not ridiculous for wanting a serious relationship, nor should you allow society to change your values on what you want out of life. And nice job on coming out, we all know that's not easy.
  • averyc93

    Posts: 50

    Mar 27, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    You aren't ridiculous for wanting something long-term...I'm the same age as you, in a relationship, and I couldn't be happier. I don't feel like I'm "missing out" on my youth--I've never been into the dating scene either (and you don't want to get me started on one night stands). Everyone wants different things at different points in time. Don't let anyone tell you what you should/shouldn't be looking for. You know best.
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    Mar 28, 2014 7:22 AM GMT
    Oh honey, you're only 22, such a long road of gay life ahead of you. You may say that you want a relationship but chances are, I'd say 99% of the time most 22 yrs old who settle down at this age will break up within a year or less. icon_eek.gif You should be out and about, make friends, focus on your school or whatever or whore around if you like that sort of stuff. Lol, God I whored around with so many hot dudes in my early 20s. As far as your family, they need time, that's all. I came out to them when I was 25, took them about a year to fully accept it. It's all good. Just don't cut off all communications. But yeah do whatever you want, you don't need our approval or permission. icon_cool.gif
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    Mar 28, 2014 2:20 PM GMT
    Crossfit999 said ... I decided to come out to my mom—something that didn't go over as well. While I'm upset about that, I'm doing my best to keep the head up and live my life the best I can while coping ...

    give your mother some time. You have had your whole life to deal your sexuality. How anyone can be a parent for 20years and not know that their son is gay speaks for significant denial. What make you think Buffalo was next to NYC?



    Crossfit999 said ... I don't 'need' a boyfriend ...

    gay or straight 99% of relationships start with a date. So you want a LTR; dont jump ahead of your self you need to put your self out there. hiv/std test?



    Crossfit999 said ... I'd ideally like to meet someone with similar interests, who's also interested in an ltr ...

    marriage equality is the law of the land. its better to find someone to live the rest of your life than be struggling up the bath house steps until your too old to make it up.



    Crossfit999 said ... I'd ideally like to meet someone with similar interests, who's also interested in an ltr...namely someone to take care of, share special times ...

    be sensitive to what are the deal breakers in your big gay relationship but also consider what you bring to the table. Look for a partner who completes the house hold. So the two of you add up more than just 2.0
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2014 7:02 PM GMT
    Congrats!!

    You're definitely not being ridiculous. It's tough though, most guys at our age are just looking for a fun time, nothing too serious. There are however guys out there that want a committing relationship. I'm in the same situation as you, I guess keep talking to guys and see where it ends up. I would say meeting guys at bars and clubs isn't the best solution, BUT you never know. Keeping in mind to always be SAFE!!! Sorry I couldn't shed more light on the subject. Good luck!!
  • ChiGuy999

    Posts: 31

    Apr 01, 2014 12:32 PM GMT
    Thank you, everyone or the good vibes! Taking it one day at a time. Popular opinion says mr right will find his way into my life when I least expect it...so for the time being I'll continue to put myself out there while focusing on my career. icon_smile.gif thanks a million, guys.