Seeking some friendly support

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2014 3:35 PM GMT
    One liner - Hi my name is Gerhardus and I'm an alcoholic.

    It's something I've said to myself a thousand no a million times, but there it is. I am currently in day three of complete abstinence after obsessive drinking since the age of 11 (I'm 31 this year). It's a tale I'd like to share but rather spare you the boredom. I feel lost and confused - what a cliche I know, but the words have new meaning in this context - In the past six months I have been systematically purging myself from things I found to be harmful to my health - starting with my boyfriend and my old job. Found a great new job but went on a binge of drinking and snarfing like a crazy person... and then I got sick - the obvious reason was from breathing in more or less a gram or two of coke and cat daily.
    It was the end - risking the health implications I stopped - went cold turkey and faced the world without illegal narcotics, but still continued drinking.
    Now two months after that I feel it's time to take the final step. STOP DRINKING.
    I never thought it was this big a deal - I mean, stopping Coke and Cat was child's play compared to this. I felt some angst but nothing worth mentioning. The physical effects were horrendous though - I was coughing and sneezing, had sporadic nose bleeds and chest pains, headaches but they were all gone in two weeks. Now I'm even starting to smell things again.

    It might be because I've been an alcoholic for much longer than I thought but this is mad.

    Day one was fine - no big deal, I almost had a drink but easily resisted.

    Day two was shit for everyone around me - I found myself acting out of sorts - swearing at employees and cursing total strangers, I seriously considered having a drink but resisted with some effort. I made a serious attempt to apologize to some of the people I offended.

    Today is day three. It has been really tough - I barely slept at all last night, my vision is blurry, I have a headache, my mood has not improved since yesterday (thank the gods for an understanding boss - I told him to "Fuck off" this morning and later shouted at him for telling me I'm in a shit mood). I'm emotional - I feel anxious and nauseous. It feels like my neck muscles are being pulled down over my chest and shoulders and my spine is tense. My legs won't stop moving. My hands are feeling shaky. I'm sweating like a motherfucker and the list still continues - I get sporadic chest pains that feels like my tongue is being pulled into my the back of my neck. All my muscles spasm and are feeling of weak... FUCK!

    I know some of you guys must have gone through this so a little supportive sharing would be great - your experience perhaps...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2014 3:42 PM GMT
    your doing the right thing.
    ASAP if not sooner find a support group, friend, even a junk one. to watch over you next few days.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 26, 2014 3:44 PM GMT
    Don't worry, you're just having a typical alcoho withdrawal symptoms.

    Just visit a doctor, he may prescribe couple of sleeping pills and a pain killer... And in couple of weeks you'll be totally free and can do your daily activities completely independent of alcohol.

    All the best.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4348

    Mar 26, 2014 4:19 PM GMT
    I never have but my ex went through this-- but in a clinic. You may need some help getting through it but I'd recommend you not get a doctor to give you prescription meds- you're not just an alcoholic and druggie, you're an easily addicted person. Some people just are. I hate the AA business for all it's silly God fixation but the premise of the program is to substitute a healthier addiction, meetings, for the alcohol or drugs. I hear AA has developed some programs that skip the "Higher Power" bullshit. You might check into it. Good luck.
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    Mar 31, 2014 2:00 AM GMT
    I work in a medical setting. When I see guys that are going thru withdrawal they are always given multivitamins through an IV for a few days. In the old days guys used to drink liquid Geritol after a binge. I might get some heat for this but if you used to drink often, just like Rx drug abuse or cigs, please don't ever go completely off it without weaning yourself. Your body needs lower and lower doses for time to adjust.
    Give yourself something to replace the alcohol. A hobby, or healthy obsession.
    Gerhardus I hope the best for you.
    I think guys that drink were/are smart, sensitive and hurting. Something bothers you. I don't know if it's trying to drown out your internal thoughts or lessen a gripping responsibility but I like your bravery to face and take ownership of your body away from alcohol. RJ might be a good place to find guys that can help you heal in the areas that cause you to drink. I have received some good counseling from therapist for my depression, but the benefit is limited. Personally I think going to AA like support groups can help but I'd only stay a few months and then find a non alcoholic support group.
    I don't like the label alcoholic. It is a condition you've had but it is not your identity for the rest of your life. You are a man who can identify himself as brave, smart, and humble. Great qualities to start labeling yourself. You might want to listen to motivational speakers on youtube.
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    Apr 01, 2014 12:47 PM GMT
    Please find an AA meeting that you feel comfortable with and work through all of the steps! Some AA meetings are more religion based and others are just structured on the 12 steps. I personally have never been to an AA meeting, but I have close friends that I've spent so many hours learning how AA or Alanon meetings have changed their lives.