HamsterCheeks saidWhile it's true I have a colourful past that should not make me less entitled to have a happy relationship. My first experience of penetration and foreplay roughly a year ago was terrible and not something I can just get over and jump into bed with someone. I do want to have sex again but it has to be with someone I am in a relationship with and trust. I don't know why people have got to be so impatient!
Your past doesn't make you less entitled, that isn't the point. The point is you *have* a past that is affecting your trust in the present, right? So you aren't really *available* yet to have a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. You need to heal and rebuild your trust.
But, this is *your* issue, not anyone else's. And, yes, it is conceivable some guys might be willing to cut you some slack around it, but, on the other hand, do you want to make your problem their problem? Try turning the situation around. How much old history are you willing to put up with from someone else, especially someone you don't yet know well?
FWIW, my last relationship was very traumatic for me. Long story I'll not go into. Suffice it to say I haven't been sexual since we broke up and that was over a decade ago. (Both my LTR Exs are now deceased.) I'm not dating precisely because I *know* I'm not *available* emotionally.