This Is Why I'm Fat

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:05 PM GMT
    My husband just said to me:

    "When do you want your crab?"

    I replied: "What crab?"

    "The King Crab you mentioned in Publix."

    "I just said they had a special. I didn't say I wanted any."

    "Well I got you some for tonight. It'll go bad if I don't cook it."

    "I didn't want crab tonight. I had crab Wednesday."

    ""Well I got crab for you, because you said you wanted some."

    "I DIDN'T say I wanted crab! I just HAD crab!"

    "I got it for you! Either you eat it or I'll throw it out."

    aaaarrrrggghhhhhh!!!!!

    Never marry an Italian husband. He'll feed you to death. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:10 PM GMT
    Some people are fat because they have slow metabolisms. It's supposedly genetic.
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:11 PM GMT
    I need an italian husband!!!

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    Mar 29, 2014 11:11 PM GMT
    Count your lucky stars, AND.... shhhh!
    Eat your crab and say Thank you honey. Luv you!
    Not everyone is married to a good cook around here like you and I.
    When I came back from the car wash and saw Jack had made us pork chops and a sauce reduction with Salad... I just said.. MMM.. that smells delicious!

    and it was! Pretty sure your crab will be awesome too, if you let it.

    Remember to kiss the chef and pat him on the ass on your way out!
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:12 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidRemember to kiss the chef on your way out!

    Are we only suppose to be kissing them? oooops
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:12 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    TheGuyNextDoor saidRemember to kiss the chef on your way out!

    Are we only suppose to be kissing them? oooops


    Yes,, kissing in the kitchen... Dessert is served upstairs!
    *gotta do something creative with those fresh carbs!*
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:13 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    lilTanker said
    TheGuyNextDoor saidRemember to kiss the chef on your way out!

    Are we only suppose to be kissing them? oooops


    Yes,, kissing in the kitchen... Dessert is served upstairs!

    That'll take to long dessert will be served in the kitchen on the counter and will be done so promptly!
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:15 PM GMT
    Well then, hand me that tub of butter and let's get busy!

    *tosses ALL the dishes off the kitchen table with one arm*
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 29, 2014 11:16 PM GMT
    ART_DECO saidMy husband just said to me:

    "When do you want your crab?"

    I replied: "What crab?"

    "The King Crab you mentioned in Publix."

    "I just said they had a special. I didn't say I wanted any."

    "Well I got you some for tonight. It'll go bad if I don't cook it."

    "I didn't want crab tonight. I had crab Wednesday."

    ""Well I got crab for you, because you said you wanted some."

    "I DIDN'T say I wanted crab! I just HAD crab!"

    "I got it for you! Either you eat it or I'll throw it out."

    aaaarrrrggghhhhhh!!!!!

    Never marry an Italian husband. He'll feed you to death. icon_rolleyes.gif

    How much is your insurance policy? icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:16 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    #FirstWorldProblem icon_wink.gif

    As you wish, but still a problem. I was 155 pounds when I met him, and pushing 200 pounds 7 years later.

    You can blame me for a lack of self control, but I also blame him for pressuring me to eat when I don't want to. Mange, mange! Left to my own devices I eat like a bird, but his own life revolves around eating. Which is why he's got an even worse weight problem himself, that his doctors are alarmed about. Think he'll listen to them? No more than he does to me. [SIGH} icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:20 PM GMT
    My Italian mother is the same. When I eat dinner there, sometimes she'll apologize and say she had little food in the house. Then she'll put out two to three complete meals. Then she'll tell me she's going to throw out what I don't eat.
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:21 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidWell then, hand me that tub of butter and let's get busy!

    *tosses ALL the dishes off the kitchen table with one arm*

    That's the way!
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:24 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    How much is your insurance policy? icon_lol.gif

    LOL! Zilch. I'm on full disability Medicare and VA. I pay nothing for full coverage.

    And honestly I really don't worry about my longevity, except concerned that I outlast him. I would hate to leave him alone, because I truly think he needs me.

    But as for myself, I've done so much, seen so much, lived so much, had such a full & wonderful life, I couldn't honestly feel shortchanged if I died in the next 5 minutes. I only want to hang around longer for his sake, not for my own. That may be why I've gotten sloppy about my health in the last few years. It's not that important to me anymore, only that I manage to outlive him, and not leave him a widower all alone at his age. He couldn't handle that.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 29, 2014 11:35 PM GMT
    Actually, people are fat because they take in more calories than they burn. And, as far as I know, nobody is force feeding them. It's their choice to eat as much or as little as they want.

    BTW, finding somebody who loves you enough to cook for you is like winning the lottery.
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    Mar 29, 2014 11:46 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidActually, people are fat because they take in more calories than they burn. And, as far as I know, nobody is force feeding them. It's their choice to eat as much or as little as they want.

    BTW, finding somebody who loves you enough to cook for you is like winning the lottery.

    Well DUH! Alert the media!

    The problem for us old guys is that we CAN'T burn the calories. Because our metabolism and activity level is way reduced from when we were young.

    So our options are to try to maintain our physical activities as best we can, and lower our calorie intake by NOT MARRYING ITALIAN HUSBANDS!!!!

    LOL!
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    Mar 30, 2014 12:02 AM GMT
    Italian hubbies ftw - the best kind
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    Mar 30, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidWell then, hand me that tub of butter and let's get busy!

    *tosses ALL the dishes off the kitchen table with one arm*


    OMG, don't do that! Shards and bloods aren't sexy.
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    Mar 30, 2014 12:25 AM GMT
    OMG, OMG, OMG....

    We just finished the crab, and included the lobster claw we took home from his brother's birthday dinner.

    I wanna die...

    And this is why, as I said, I'm fat. How am I supposed to resist?

    I simply don't have the will power. Don't EVER marry an Italian who likes to cook. He'll turn you into a porker faster than you know what hit you.
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    Mar 30, 2014 12:43 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    155 up to 200 in 7 years? That's actually alarming. icon_eek.gif

    Have you tried any exercise routines to take off at least half what you put on?

    Actually it was under 2 years that I gained the weight. Same thing happened living with my late partner, who was half Italian, who also loved to cook.

    I remember the first year we were together, and I literally screamed in our bathroom one day.

    "What's the matter?" he yelled as he came running.

    "I'm 185 pounds!" I yelled back. "I've never weighed this much in my life! Look at my belly! I'm pregnant!"

    I made us both go on a diet that day.

    And I was back to 155 when I met my current partner. Yet today I'm worse than ever. Older, too, of course, but I need to lose at least 50 pounds.

    One of the reasons I'm on RJ is to motivate me to lose this weight. I bicycle, I walk, I golf, but I'm still fat. Getting cancer didn't help, despite the common notion that you'll lose weight. But not if they suppress your male testosterone. So fat I am, and still fighting it. icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 30, 2014 1:06 AM GMT
    And to close the loop for all who asked:

    The meal was great. I probably gained another couple of pounds. Now I gotta clean up.

    I'll snuggle & kiss him before we fall asleep a little later. We almost always go to sleep holding hands. And I'll probably dream about him, too. Along with my late partner, he's the only real person that I've ever dreamt about. Everyone else in my dreams have been unknown faceless strangers. That tells me a lot. He must be very important to me that he's the only real person I dream about, and always happily. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 30, 2014 1:19 AM GMT
    Just texted:
    "Reese's big bag on sell at CVS"
    I wonder what will happen next?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 2:43 AM GMT
    Crab meat is fattening? icon_neutral.gif
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    Mar 30, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    xrichx saidCrab meat is fattening? icon_neutral.gif

    no, the sauce is though!
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    Mar 30, 2014 3:56 AM GMT
    I wish I had someone to cook for me. icon_neutral.gif
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    Mar 30, 2014 4:37 AM GMT
    Steamed crab and lobster with lemon juice and/or cocktail sauce is about as unfattening as you can get.

    Once at a lobsterfest after loading up at the raw bar I ate at least NINE large lobsters (I stopped counting after that) and within 24 hours weighed a pound LESS because raw and steamed seafood, unbuttered and unbreaded, is ALL I ate.

    That being said, I wish I had a husband who cooked - and can take direction.