Making new friends as an adult

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 2:24 PM GMT
    I'm 23, and I feel like I spend way too much time alone. My best friend is a girl I went to school with (same age), but we didn't become friends until the summer before my senior year. She works a lot, and we don't get to hang out much.

    My other friend is a straight guy who's 4 years older than me, and he's actually my boss now (I started working for him last year). I've also become good friends with his girlfriend. They really love me and always invite me over to their apartment and out to eat with them, etc but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm the 3rd wheel. And seeing them be affectionate with one another constantly doesn't help, since I kind of secretly have a crush on my friend.

    I'd really like to make new friends and have a nice little group of people to hang out or go out with, maybe go on some trips together, etc. It's tough though because I'm not in school at the moment, and my only social interactions are at work with my straight friend and we only work with 2 other people.

    Any advice on how to get out there and meet people? I'm not too good at introducing myself to people in person, but I'm willing to try.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Mar 30, 2014 2:49 PM GMT
    Take a class, sports, meetup.com, family, smiling at people, prison.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 2:53 PM GMT
    you need some hobbies dude.

    Start pursuing activities that you are interested in and you should naturally start meeting people through those activities, and then you already have something in common.
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    Mar 30, 2014 3:13 PM GMT
    I think you have three excellent friends who love you. Text them right not how important they are.
    What do you expect of friends? Ultimately we all have our own lives as friends.

    If you are desiring a greater bond you need a boy friend
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 3:18 PM GMT
    meetup.com

    You can join groups tailored to your interest and potentially meet people along the way!!!
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    Mar 30, 2014 3:59 PM GMT
    I have a similar situation with wanting friends also and i have tried putting myself out there but everyone already seems to have what they need and don't care to make additional friends etc and the friends i do have i hardly see and even then its only for a coffee not that i am ungreatful but i never get to have a night out or proper do proper social things with them or anyone.

    The joys of being a loner, yet everyone i do meet loves me to bits, so whats all that about eh?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 4:10 PM GMT
    It's simple. Join a gym.
    It'll happen without even trying.
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    Mar 30, 2014 4:41 PM GMT
    Meeting people through existing friends is the best way because you have to make less of a special effort to meet up with them. Having friends through work can be ok but it can also very quickly be not ok out of nowhere e.g. If you are going for the same job
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 5:35 PM GMT
    ive joined a gym and say hi and nod to people lol but as for existing friends what if like me you hardly ever see the ones you have let alone make friends with theirs haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 5:56 PM GMT
    The friends I'm closest with and hang out with most regularly (2-3 times a week) are all gay. My old schoolmates unfortunately I now only see once every couple months. I'm trying to diversify, but with limited success.
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    Mar 30, 2014 7:44 PM GMT
    i can never seem to make friendships where we meet up alot or just sometimes lol i
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    Mar 30, 2014 11:46 PM GMT
    Dennis1989 saidI have a similar situation with wanting friends also and i have tried putting myself out there but everyone already seems to have what they need and don't care to make additional friends etc and the friends i do have i hardly see and even then its only for a coffee not that i am ungreatful but i never get to have a night out or proper do proper social things with them or anyone.

    The joys of being a loner, yet everyone i do meet loves me to bits, so whats all that about eh?


    That's exactly my case. People have already made their own group of friends and have no interest in new ones. WHat's the point of meeting people then?
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 30, 2014 11:55 PM GMT
    I'll echo the meet-up suggestions through meet-up.com. There are plenty groups that you can join based on a variety of interests.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2014 11:58 PM GMT
    I hate when people ask these type of questions, all the replies they get is SPORTS. Not everyone likes sports.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 31, 2014 1:32 PM GMT
    Xavier92 saidI hate when people ask these type of questions, all the replies they get is SPORTS. Not everyone likes sports.icon_rolleyes.gif
    Although i like sports i do agree to this comment but the other thing is about how and what is in your area that is "affordable" when most clubs charge and then there is personal anxiety to over come and all the crap in your lives you have going on to fight it just to get out, this can become one big gamble that may not pay off and yeah on the other hand it could but is that gamble worth it when you know that nothing will come of it.
  • SENCGuy1

    Posts: 247

    Mar 31, 2014 1:41 PM GMT
    School is one of the best places to make friends; it automatically gives you something in common. Try taking a class in something you want to learn more about. If the worst happens and you don't make friends, you've learned more about something you were interested in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2014 1:55 PM GMT
    You seem to discount your current friends because they're straight. What if they valued you less because you're gay. I think you should reevaluate your criteria for friendships.
  • Scalese89

    Posts: 122

    Mar 31, 2014 2:30 PM GMT
    Meeting friends through other friends (however close they may be) is always a good idea. I usually meet friends in the strangest of places - but usually I'm introduced to them by a current friend and then our friendship ensues from there. It's hard, but it usually happens when you're not trying too hard to make friends. Hobbies etc are a good way as well, but this is easier said than done for many.