How to meet gays guys without the need of dating apps?

  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Mar 30, 2014 5:09 PM GMT
    Hi,

    I'm thinking a lot about the future, don't want technology to be every part of my life, esp meeting men.

    Make no mistake I've managed to date a few guys through the likes of PoF and even Grindr. But one day I'd like to do it without the need of them. Like how some heterosexual couples can do it so easily (for one they don't have to worry about homophobia). I'm part of the LGBT society at my university but have not had much luck with the guys there. Have made loads of friends through it but none of them were really my type.

    My first question is where are good places to meet men? I do go to bars every so often but here in Glasgow a lot of the guys are creepy. I do wish the city had more guys like you'd find in other cities or the states.

    My other question is how do I approach a guy without knowing if he's straight or gay?
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    Mar 30, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    You don't ask if people are gay, you tell them that you are gay and the rest is their decision.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 30, 2014 5:37 PM GMT
    MarkW1 saidI'm part of the LGBT society at my university but have not had much luck with the guys there. Have made loads of friends through it but none of them were really my type.

    One question I'd suggest asking yourself is why none of the guys you know are gay are your "type". I've observed this in lots gay men, especially young ones. If they know a guy is gay to begin with, and especially if they become friends, they're no longer 'interested' in one another 'that way'. How come?
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    Mar 30, 2014 5:48 PM GMT
    haha when i think about things and the older generation says about haw easy we young un's have it now with all the app's and tech i mean i think in my personal opinion it seems looking back that it was easier to meet men in the years gone by.
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    Mar 30, 2014 6:03 PM GMT
    Dennis1989 saidhaha when i think about things and the older generation says about haw easy we young un's have it now with all the app's and tech i mean i think in my personal opinion it seems looking back that it was easier to meet men in the years gone by.


    Before apps (and in particular before the Gaydar website), closeted or horny guys genuinely did meet each other for sex in public toilets or in parks at night. Apps are much better than that!
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    Mar 30, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    haha or they started the gay villages where every like was alike lol
  • MarkW1

    Posts: 118

    Mar 30, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    MarkW1 saidI'm part of the LGBT society at my university but have not had much luck with the guys there. Have made loads of friends through it but none of them were really my type.

    One question I'd suggest asking yourself is why none of the guys you know are gay are your "type". I've observed this in lots gay men, especially young ones. If they know a guy is gay to begin with, and especially if they become friends, they're no longer 'interested' in one another 'that way'. How come?

    None of them were tbh, but there were two who I did like initially, but I wasn't one guy's type and the other already had a boyfriend. Both are now good friends of mine so don't really feel that attraction anymore.
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    Mar 30, 2014 10:09 PM GMT
    MarkW1 said ... don't want technology ... I'd like to do it without ... not had much luck with the guys ... none of them were really my type ...
    just a thought why you do not have much luck is you are limiting your self.

    If you cant find anyone; deal breakers are important but open up your requirements some.
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    Mar 31, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    Try ordering from a subway... get a 6 inch - itll surely turn into a euphemism for cock sizes - lololol if thats what youre into ...
  • bear_wo_woods

    Posts: 2

    Mar 31, 2014 5:27 AM GMT
    I have the same problem with meeting guys. I chat with a lot of guys on apps, even went on a few dates (usually not ending well). The gay community is a little behind where I am when compared to other cities, and a lot of guys aren't out. Frankly, its difficult to meet anyone decent here. I know a lot of guys think that about where they live too, but I've talked with a lot of people who visit here and everyone has said this is the worst city they have ever been in to meet men.

    As for the initially being attracted then becoming friends and attraction ending, I think everyone experiences that. Not sure why. Do we have our own version of "the friend zone?" lol
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    Mar 31, 2014 8:30 AM GMT
    Try putting yourself 'out there' more. Other than the obvious LGBT club at your university, try joining other clubs. Expand your social circle a bit more and let it be known that you're gay.

    It's really tough, but gays are out there - a lot of the time, right under our noses. If you're not looking in the right spots, you're not detectable enough or you're not in tune with where they are at, you're going to miss them.
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    Mar 31, 2014 1:28 PM GMT
    Rolfron saidTry putting yourself 'out there' more. Other than the obvious LGBT club at your university, try joining other clubs. Expand your social circle a bit more and let it be known that you're gay.

    It's really tough, but gays are out there - a lot of the time, right under our noses. If you're not looking in the right spots, you're not detectable enough or you're not in tune with where they are at, you're going to miss them.
    I like the idea of that personally myself but for me i have this anxiety in me i have to fight plus my town is rubbish for anything really.
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    Mar 31, 2014 1:49 PM GMT
    bear_wo_woods said ... As for the initially being attracted then becoming friends and attraction ending, I think everyone experiences that. Not sure why. Do we have our own version of "the friend zone?
    very good observation




    bear_wo_woods saidI have the same problem with meeting guys ... The gay community is a little behind where I am when compared to other cities, and a lot of guys aren't out ... this is the worst city they have ever been in to meet men ...
    location location location; there has got to be a gayer part of town that you can hang out at.

    just notice another headless realjock pic. Not my business how to tell you to be more out there
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    Mar 31, 2014 6:20 PM GMT
    Dennis1989 saidI like the idea of that personally myself but for me i have this anxiety in me i have to fight plus my town is rubbish for anything really.


    As an introvert myself, I understand; I go through the same issues. My point still stands though: if you stay indoors, you're restricted to finding what you can find indoors; not very much. Try to make it a goal to join one activity or club by a certain time. Try to make a new friend; try talking to someone you wouldn't normally. Try hanging out somewhere new. Even if you dont meet any gays, at least you've met some new people - that may even be able to help you find some yourself.

    If your town sucks, I feel you. Try visiting the town over - or moving when you're able to.
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    Apr 01, 2014 12:33 PM GMT
    Rolfron said
    Dennis1989 saidI like the idea of that personally myself but for me i have this anxiety in me i have to fight plus my town is rubbish for anything really.


    As an introvert myself, I understand; I go through the same issues. My point still stands though: if you stay indoors, you're restricted to finding what you can find indoors; not very much. Try to make it a goal to join one activity or club by a certain time. Try to make a new friend; try talking to someone you wouldn't normally. Try hanging out somewhere new. Even if you dont meet any gays, at least you've met some new people - that may even be able to help you find some yourself.

    If your town sucks, I feel you. Try visiting the town over - or moving when you're able to.
    Totall !! i mean Wigan is my hometown and will always be a Wiganer haha but i think in my life i have to move away when i get the chance as i don't want to be stuck in the place all my life, i find it bemusing though that even thought i personally try my best i get no where and other people who do not try seem to get further in life!
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Apr 02, 2014 4:46 AM GMT
    Ohno saidYou don't ask if people are gay, you tell them that you are gay and the rest is their decision.


    True if they know or suspect you're gay, they'll come to you sometimes. You will know they are interested. They eye you up, rub up against you, or trying to look especially nice when you are going to hang out, that sort of thing. Of course gay men used to flock to major metropolitan areas to be amongst each other and have a bigger dating pool. Since you aren't in Chelsea or the Castro District in Frisco, I guess you will have to make do