Two soldiers. Same love or striaght confusion? Is he playing games?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 6:01 AM GMT
    First of all I'm gay but not out. I'm deployed with this other soldier who is supposed to be straight. I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point. Strong, athletic, tats with an cool attitude and sexy. Real sexy. However it all started 7 months ago. He caught me looking in his direction a few times and he noticed but I tried to play it cool. Then throughout the deployment he started feeling on my back, my arm, my side and stomach. Holding my hand or wrist when we shake hands. Looking into each other eyes. At first I just ignored it. Just thinking he was one of those touchy feely people.(Is this normal straight behavior?) Lately I have returned the flavor tho. I find myself touching the back of his head his chest his stomach. At times we can't pass each other up with out touching one another. Then I started bringing him food and drinks and anything he wanted. I message him that I had mad love for him, but we just pretended that that it never happened. Other times it's seems we ignore one another or it's awkward. What's going on here? Is he gay or bi? He talks about women , but what about the touching? Does this sound like straight behavior to you? Is he playing games with me? I don't want to go after a straight dude. I need advice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 6:02 AM GMT
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 6:03 AM GMT
    He doesn't sound straight to me. Maybe he is bi.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 01, 2014 6:08 AM GMT
    Cool story ... Let us know how it plays out.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Apr 01, 2014 7:16 AM GMT
    Khufu saidIs he playing games with me?

    Could be. Aren't you playing games with us?
    On the 1-10 troll post scale, this rates a 7. Congrats.
  • Marko89

    Posts: 239

    Apr 01, 2014 11:31 AM GMT
    Bi-curious type maybe?
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    Apr 01, 2014 1:11 PM GMT
    I'm not out either. I've dealt with a number of straight guys who were touchy feely and said homoerotic things toward me. Most of these guys were friends in school. I usually hold my ground and play it cool.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 1:25 PM GMT
    Khufu said
    Does this sound like straight behavior to you? Is he playing games with me? I don't want to go after a straight dude. I need advice

    Depending where you're deployed, if it's very remote, he could be exhibiting "situational homosexuality" or getting close to it. That's when a fundamentally straight male doesn't have contact, or very limited contact, with females for an extended period of time, but is surrounded by males. The other men start looking good to him, but he'll go back to women as soon as he gets the opportunity again.

    This is seen among shipboard sailors, prison inmates, and within other exclusively male populations. So don't get your hopes up about him not being straight.

    At the same time, he may make a good playmate, IF you understand that he might go right back to his girlfriend as soon as his deployment ends. Or maybe back to his civilian BF, if he really is gay or bi. Accept it as a fling if it goes that far, with a potential expiration date.

    Or perhaps it won't go that far, the guy is just lonely. He feels the separation of deployment, but hasn't passed into situational homosexuality behavior. He wants the supporting warmth of a close friendship, but without any sex.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 01, 2014 2:28 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Khufu said
    Does this sound like straight behavior to you? Is he playing games with me? I don't want to go after a straight dude. I need advice

    Depending where you're deployed, if it's very remote, he could be exhibiting "situational homosexuality" or getting close to it. That's when a fundamentally straight male doesn't have contact, or very limited contact, with females for an extended period of time, but is surrounded by males. The other men start looking good to him, but he'll go back to women as soon as he gets the opportunity again.

    This is seen among shipboard sailors, prison inmates, and within other exclusively male populations. So don't get your hopes up about him not being straight.

    At the same time, he may make a good playmate, IF you understand that he might go right back to his girlfriend as soon as his deployment ends. Or maybe back to his civilian BF, if he really is gay or bi. Accept it as a fling if it goes that far, with a potential expiration date.

    Or perhaps it won't go that far, the guy is just lonely. He feels the separation of deployment, but hasn't passed into situational homosexuality behavior. He wants the supporting warmth of a close friendship, but without any sex.

    This ... but if it is this don't act on it ... if he really is a friend, it will just make him uncomfortable and confused with who he really is. Just stay his brah.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 01, 2014 2:31 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Khufu said
    Does this sound like straight behavior to you? Is he playing games with me? I don't want to go after a straight dude. I need advice

    Depending where you're deployed, if it's very remote, he could be exhibiting "situational homosexuality" or getting close to it. That's when a fundamentally straight male doesn't have contact, or very limited contact, with females for an extended period of time, but is surrounded by males. The other men start looking good to him, but he'll go back to women as soon as he gets the opportunity again.

    This is seen among shipboard sailors, prison inmates, and within other exclusively male populations. So don't get your hopes up about him not being straight.

    At the same time, he may make a good playmate, IF you understand that he might go right back to his girlfriend as soon as his deployment ends. Or maybe back to his civilian BF, if he really is gay or bi. Accept it as a fling if it goes that far, with a potential expiration date.

    Or perhaps it won't go that far, the guy is just lonely. He feels the separation of deployment, but hasn't passed into situational homosexuality behavior. He wants the supporting warmth of a close friendship, but without any sex.



    Yes, my "take" also.




    icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 3:34 PM GMT
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    Apr 01, 2014 3:36 PM GMT
    Agree with ART DECO. If you can't talk about your feelings then neither of you are ready to express them. I'm guessing it's rare for the two of you to be alone together without fear of being caught. When you get into that situation, then you'll know if he really wants you. I don't think labels of gay/bi will help you here. The point is whether he wants you and on what level of intimacy you're willing to accept. Back-alley blowjobs and humping in the dead of night might be the most immediate desire, but what if he doesn't want to kiss you? What if he's not prepared to have any real relationship? Can you accept that?

    If not, then best to leave it be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 3:55 PM GMT
    You've messaged him that you have "mad love" for him and he ignores it?

    Move on buddy; he seems to have an honest affection for you but it's not sexual. He doesn't want to bring up your message professing your love because he doesn't want to embarrass you or risk losing your friendship.

    Stick to fantasizing about him when you masturbate.
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    Apr 01, 2014 3:57 PM GMT
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Apr 01, 2014 6:08 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!


    no "on point" is this new ridiculous-supposed-to-be-cool urban slang phrase...instead of saying...he is mexican but everything about him is great or right etc
    to me the only thing that is "on point" is a ballerina standing on her toes...it has got to be the most annoying phrase !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 6:12 PM GMT
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!


    no "on point" is this new ridiculous-supposed-to-be-cool urban slang phrase...instead of saying...he is mexican but everything about him is great or right etc
    to me the only thing that is "on point" is a ballerina standing on her toes...it has got to be the most annoying phrase !


    The nitpicking notwithstanding, I don't believe he meant anything racist with the comment as others were insinuating.
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Apr 01, 2014 6:29 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!


    no "on point" is this new ridiculous-supposed-to-be-cool urban slang phrase...instead of saying...he is mexican but everything about him is great or right etc
    to me the only thing that is "on point" is a ballerina standing on her toes...it has got to be the most annoying phrase !


    The nitpicking notwithstanding, I don't believe he meant anything racist with the comment as others were insinuating.


    agreed ...he was just painting a picture for us...the guy is a hot mexican...great I have a picture in my head...same as if he said hot Italian or hot Swede.......we have mental image
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 01, 2014 6:40 PM GMT
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!


    no "on point" is this new ridiculous-supposed-to-be-cool urban slang phrase...instead of saying...he is mexican but everything about him is great or right etc
    to me the only thing that is "on point" is a ballerina standing on her toes...it has got to be the most annoying phrase !


    The nitpicking notwithstanding, I don't believe he meant anything racist with the comment as others were insinuating.


    agreed ...he was just painting a picture for us...the guy is a hot mexican...great I have a picture in my head...same as if he said hot Italian or hot Swede.......we have mental image

    Yeah, but "on point" makes me see them giphy.gif in tutus.
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Apr 01, 2014 8:21 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like he is playing games. You "bring" him anything he wants. What do you get out of this? I say move on, he is a user.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 8:49 PM GMT
    Don't shit where you eat, or piss where you sleep, and don't fuck with men you serve with. Period. Doesn't matter gay, bi, straight, man, or woman. Unity and morale are at stake, so just leave it alone.

    My two cents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!


    no "on point" is this new ridiculous-supposed-to-be-cool urban slang phrase...instead of saying...he is mexican but everything about him is great or right etc
    to me the only thing that is "on point" is a ballerina standing on her toes...it has got to be the most annoying phrase !


    The nitpicking notwithstanding, I don't believe he meant anything racist with the comment as others were insinuating.


    agreed ...he was just painting a picture for us...the guy is a hot mexican...great I have a picture in my head...same as if he said hot Italian or hot Swede.......we have mental image

    Yeah, but "on point" makes me see them giphy.gif in tutus.


    That would be "en pointe."
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 02, 2014 12:58 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidThat would be "en pointe."
    icon_redface.gif wtf do i know icon_cry.gif
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Apr 02, 2014 2:46 AM GMT
    "On point" is a military term. Usually associated with the recon patrol, where one individual soldier is at the front of the platoon, and has to have his shit together, his head on straight, and fully concentrating, while he is out scouting ahead...
  • NU2OAKTOWN

    Posts: 2

    Apr 02, 2014 4:10 AM GMT
    Does he really need a label bro?

    I think that's the problem. When you label something you have to live with the stereotypes of other people's perceptions of that label.

    If you enjoy the passion of another guy do you have to be called gay? Are you Bill Smith the soldier, the brother, the uncle, gay? If it happens and you guys get intimate; great. Be an opportunist for love. In whatever form it takes. Don't label it.

    Enjoy it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2014 9:43 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    secondstartotheright said
    UndercoverMan said
    ReadyBuddy said
    David3000 said
    Khufu said I'm Black and he is Mexican but everything about him is on point.


    ? what icon_lol.gif
    +1icon_eek.gif


    It was his awkward way of saying despite their differences (cultural or what have you) they hit it off. Stop looking for racism where none exists. Sheesh!


    no "on point" is this new ridiculous-supposed-to-be-cool urban slang phrase...instead of saying...he is mexican but everything about him is great or right etc
    to me the only thing that is "on point" is a ballerina standing on her toes...it has got to be the most annoying phrase !


    The nitpicking notwithstanding, I don't believe he meant anything racist with the comment as others were insinuating.
    Your right man I wasn't being racist. I was saying he is
    perfect.