Anyone ever started a local gay men's group, or ever belong to one?

  • davidchill45

    Posts: 55

    Apr 01, 2014 11:38 PM GMT
    If so, how did you go about it?

    I live in a very large college town (population of 100,000 + when all colleges are in session), and, while I love where I'm at, I find it hard to meet new people--particularly gay men--my age (or, any age really) that are interested in anything beyond a hook-up, or living on their keyboards (ironic, I know, since I'm blurting this out into cyberspace).

    Coming out later in life like I did (which is fine, I have kids, an awesome job, money's not an issue--dating after coming out has never been an issue as well), I find that, not only is it harder to meet the aformentioned type of guys, it's hard to meet straight folks in the rare "lets be new friends in our late forties" stratosphere.

    I guess I always hear from guys that I date about "me and the boys are going out to the movies", or "my friends and I (who are almost always gay) are going to happy hour after work". It's like guys my age (49) that have been out their whole life have this quantitative and qualitative network of friends that--well, I just don't have.

    While they were busy building these lifelong relationships, I was busy hiding in the closet, raising a family, working my ass off to pay the mortgage, and going to little league.

    Now that the divorce is far, far in the rearview mirror, and the kids are grown, all MY lifelong friends live in different towns, have their own lives (that include little, if anything gay--lol).

    And, while I've checked into some local charitable organizations (including LGBT), it just seems--I don't know--ineffective for the most part.

    So, back to my original topic headline...does anyone know about starting some sort of local group, with the "you likely need to be gay" being the undercurrent?

    Elements that I always come back to are support for coming out of the closet, fitness, weight lifting, social events, fund raising, charity events, resource management--but, despite my self-perceived expertise in many areas, I'm kinda clueless here.

    Where does one start?

    Any and all feedback appreciated

    Sorry if this sounds kinda rambly, been a long day.

  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Apr 01, 2014 11:41 PM GMT is a great place to start. Search for other gay groups and go from there.

  • Apr 01, 2014 11:48 PM GMT
    I'm a part of a gay hiking group on It's not limited to just men. So far I've done 4 events with them and going on some overnight trips soon as well. I don't think I'd find people to hook up with from this group if I were single, but it's a great avenue to make friends, especially since I'm new in town.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 01, 2014 11:48 PM GMT
    That meetup site is efficient if you live in countries like USa, Canada or anywhere in Europe. Not really the rest of the world. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 01, 2014 11:49 PM GMT could be a good way to organize it. GAMrican runs one for San Francisco. For ideas you could look at various gay groups on meetup and see what sort of things they do.

    You could make RSVPs free, or $1 to filter out the spurious RSVPs. Or make it $5 or something with the stipulation that you'll give them their money back when they arrive at the venue. But again, see what other groups are doing. (You don't want spurious RSVPs because some venues may have limited space.)
  • davidchill45

    Posts: 55

    Apr 02, 2014 1:12 AM GMT
    Awesome, thanks for all the replies so far...!