Jealousy?

  • bluel5

    Posts: 2

    Apr 03, 2014 11:48 AM GMT
    I'm having some difficulties with my relationship and the problems are all in my head but I don't know how to solve any of it. Could someone help?

    I've never been bothered about being in a relationship and was never looking for one but met a guy at home about 8 months ago now who is 6 years older than me. We got along so well we started dating. After two months he broke up with me, as we were at the time living about 4-5 hours away so could only see each other 2 or 3 times a month. Makes sense. A few weeks later I was nearby where he lived so went to see him and he asked me out again. After talking for a while I said yes and we've been together happily for 6 months since (yay).

    However, in the time that we split up, we both did stuff with other people (neither of us had anal, but oral etc.) and for some reason, it still really bothers me him being with another guy. He's still friends with the guy and mentions him every now and then and every time it makes me extremely uncomfortable and jealous. I know it's unreasonable but I don't know how to deal with it.

    Is it just because I know that my boyfriend has been with a lot more people than me, I feel jealous or like I'm missing out? Is that unreasonable and how do I deal with it?

    We're looking long term and that makes me happy, I'm not bothered about having sex with different people. But it really bothers me that he was with someone after we broke up to the point I imagine hitting the other guy.

    Whenever I imagine him having sex with someone else it upsets me. I worry that I'm not special to him sexually. I've tried talking to him about this but he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say.

    Any help or advice would be much appreciated because I'm terrified of spoiling my relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 03, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    bluel5 said ... in the time that we split up, we both did stuff with other people (neither of us had anal, but oral etc.) and for some reason, it still really bothers me him being with another guy ...
    up front it sounds like a double standard here? What if you had relations with another guy while you were broke up with your partner, should he not be able to do the same?


    bluel5 said ... I'm not bothered about having sex with different people. ...

    and
    bluel5 said ... Whenever I imagine him having sex with someone else it upsets me. I worry that I'm not special to him sexually. I've tried talking to him about this but he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say

    again these statements from your post are sooo contradictory. You need to work this out in your head you seemed to indeed be bothered if he has sex with another guy but give yourself permission to have other boys.


    bluel5 said ... I've tried talking to him about this but he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say.
    before you talk to him work it out inside your self if you want an open relationship or not.






  • bluel5

    Posts: 2

    Apr 03, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    I realise the double standards thing. I know it's stupid but argh!

    What I meant was, I'm not bothered about having sex with other guys myself. And the thought of him being with someone else bothers me.

    Thanks for your reply
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 04, 2014 1:10 AM GMT
    It's difficult having what amounts to a long distance relationship. You would feel more confidant if you were together every day