I have yet to be on a date

  • Skipper18

    Posts: 11

    Apr 04, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    Yes this may seem desperate and a little sad, but yes I haven't been on a date. Any advice on how to start up my dating life even thought I'm at this awkward age.
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    Apr 04, 2014 2:18 AM GMT
    I didn't have a date until I was 27 and less than a year into it, it's still awkward for me. The first thing is to make yourself available in the right places, find a gay activity group or meet up, and talk to lots of guys, you'll meet friends like that and find dates, too. And when you do get a date, just relax and go with the flow, do something that allows for easy conversation and a relaxed time.
  • Skipper18

    Posts: 11

    Apr 04, 2014 2:25 AM GMT
    I just see my friends (that are girls) getting hit on all the time and getting asked out, and that's something iv lacked my entire life. I'm just looking forward to the day that happens to me
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    Apr 04, 2014 2:26 AM GMT
    I still haven't been on a date either. Just give it some time.
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    Apr 04, 2014 2:33 AM GMT
    This probably sounds obvious but if you are always out and about with your mates guys are less likely go approach you. When I have been at gay bars with friends the only times guys have wanted to talk and swap digits is when I go to buy a drink on my own or when I have been to the loo on my own. Just make sure you're not stuck go your mates like glue.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Apr 04, 2014 1:34 PM GMT
    Skipper18 saidI just see my friends (that are girls) getting hit on all the time and getting asked out, and that's something iv lacked my entire life. I'm just looking forward to the day that happens to me


    That sounds utterly passive to me and is probably not the best strategy to get a date. Hoping people ask you out like you're a girl?! That hasn't worked. Time to try something else.

    If you want anything in life, it's much better to pursue it rather than sit back and hope it comes to you.

    If you want a date, go up to a guy you're interested in and start talking to him. Ask him out. If he says no, move on and don't take it personally. A little rejection won't destroy you. Find another guy and talk to him and ask him out.

    You then have the advantage that when you're on the date, at least you are interested in the guy. If you wait for guys to approach you, then you end up having to deal with guys you might not have much interest in.

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    Apr 04, 2014 2:03 PM GMT
    I read your profile here, well written, short easy to read. If all your on line stuff is like that you should have no issue.

    if your profile is not getting you what you want might think in terms of opening up your criteria. Its easy to think the obvious choice is the man who is masculine and has the same interests as you. Another approach is to think what you bring to the table. Find a partner who completes you as a person and the both of you add up to more than just 2.0

    the other 95%, the straights, find partners who have few similar interests.

    We are not the 10% they thought we were back in the 1950's. the gay population is like 3-8% so more difficult to find that just right person.
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    Apr 04, 2014 2:28 PM GMT
    If you're not getting hit on, you're in the wrong places.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 04, 2014 3:29 PM GMT
    OK, mate. I don't know if you know it but you're exceptionally handsome. And you sound complete. Not awkward at all. Are you out? You may be giving off straight vibes from the sound of your profile. If you perfected the "straight" image, you may be stuck in the straight world. Do you know any gay guys? Anyone interesting? If you do, ask him out on a date. Yes. Time to start. Report back and let us know!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 04, 2014 3:34 PM GMT
    I agree with some of whats been said above. I like the idea of doing activities with some other gay guys and not really calling it a "date" in the beginning. Get your footing, get a little experience (and no expectations from any party). Just enjoy yourself. Start calling it a date when it means something more than just simply spending time out. I am confident you will have a great time!
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    Apr 04, 2014 4:05 PM GMT
    Dude you're a good looking guy, and you have to face the fact we live in a straight world. Girls often fantasies about finding their movie-like prince charming and that rarely happens. So don't expect to find a guy who's gonna sweep you off your feet at the get go in our world hahaha.

    I totally agree with what the others say, be more active in chatting and getting to know the guys around you. Go out for fun activities without calling it a date or anything. Just get to know the guy and at one point your heart will start beating hard (and something else will be hard too ;) )

    Enjoy!
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    Apr 04, 2014 4:16 PM GMT
    Skipper18 saidI just see my friends (that are girls) getting hit on all the time and getting asked out, and that's something iv lacked my entire life. I'm just looking forward to the day that happens to me


    If I saw you in my local bar/club I'd chat you up and ask you out on a date.

    That's how it works - See something you like and go for it.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 04, 2014 4:24 PM GMT
    You used, "I never had a date", as your profile affirmation. Guys hate desperation. It sounds you feel a date will somehow make you whole...It wont. Work on you and your personal happiness...The right guy will follow.
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:26 PM GMT
    Nope :'(

    Do stuff you like?
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    Apr 04, 2014 8:41 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidOK, mate. I don't know if you know it but you're exceptionally handsome. And you sound complete. Not awkward at all. Are you out? You may be giving off straight vibes from the sound of your profile. If you perfected the "straight" image, you may be stuck in the straight world. Do you know any gay guys? Anyone interesting? If you do, ask him out on a date. Yes. Time to start. Report back and let us know!
    Maybe even intimidating.

    I would hit on the OP on Grindr or RJ, but would be too shy in real life.
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    Apr 04, 2014 8:41 PM GMT
    Snaz saidNope :'(

    Do stuff you like?
    I like stuff.
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    Apr 04, 2014 9:29 PM GMT
    Well you are very cute, perhaps give it a few years. I know a lot of guys out of college won't even want to date someone as young as you. Don't fret it will come.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Apr 04, 2014 10:09 PM GMT
    HamsterCheeks saidThis probably sounds obvious but if you are always out and about with your mates guys are less likely go approach you. When I have been at gay bars with friends the only times guys have wanted to talk and swap digits is when I go to buy a drink on my own or when I have been to the loo on my own. Just make sure you're not stuck go your mates like glue.

    True, don't expect someone to approach you if your standing in a group. You need to move away from them if you want guys to approach you. You need to be approachable. Of course if they are approachable, you can always approach them. I don't know how you are as far as that is concerned. I kind of like this new "hang out" instead a "date". Who needs the pressure.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Apr 05, 2014 12:48 AM GMT
    How many guys have you asked out? Every date I've ever been on was because I asked, not because I was asked (I think the hight threw people off?).
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    Apr 05, 2014 1:03 AM GMT
    buddycat said
    HamsterCheeks saidThis probably sounds obvious but if you are always out and about with your mates guys are less likely go approach you. When I have been at gay bars with friends the only times guys have wanted to talk and swap digits is when I go to buy a drink on my own or when I have been to the loo on my own. Just make sure you're not stuck go your mates like glue.

    True, don't expect someone to approach you if your standing in a group. You need to move away from them if you want guys to approach you. You need to be approachable. Of course if they are approachable, you can always approach them. I don't know how you are as far as that is concerned. I kind of like this new "hang out" instead a "date". Who needs the pressure.


    That's true. It's always been do you want to swap numbers and go for a coffee or something along those lines. It's never been phrased as a date. I have been fortunate that I have never had to ask anyone else but if you are not being asked there's no harm in you asking.
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    Apr 05, 2014 1:05 AM GMT
    Try dating here in Kansas City... instead of looking for the future ex-lover, find something to your liking, something a little more fanatic in it's/your devotion. It's hard for me to get dates here as it is & does NOT bother me in the least bit, okay, that's a ΒΌ of the truth(:

    Just make sure that as long as you're looking for a date, make sure their agenda is the same as yours, otherwise, you're heading for disappointment. Best of luck to ya...
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    Apr 05, 2014 2:58 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidso??????


    ...I'm starting to sense a tinge of jealousy here...?

  • Apr 05, 2014 6:39 PM GMT
    Join OKCupid? Pretty easy to go on dates with people from there.