Do You Get Offended When A Guy Is Not Into You?

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    Apr 04, 2014 4:50 AM GMT
    I have learned to really not let that bug me. Whether people want to call it preference, shallow, not the type etc. If someone were to say they're not attracted to me i wouldn't get upset. I know it's cliche yo... and feel free to spin back side kick me for this. But... everyone is someones type.

    If a guy is not interested or attracted too me. I'm not going to argue or say he hurt my feelings kanyelaugh.png

    I'm not the most attractive person. But, I have dated guys who were beautiful in my eyes... They might be beautiful in someone Else's eyes... and ugly in others. And there have been guys i find awesome who were into me. Just as some awesome guys haven't been into me. I know hearing ''your not my type'' or something sucks at first. And you want to turn into Michael Jai White and go Spawn on that ass. No? only me? d7T9Shk.jpg

    Point is don't get too upset about those thing's man. There is going to be people attracted too you. Rejection is a part of life in my opinion. And people not attracted too you. I focus on my sound design career, boxing, drinking water, gym, going to a metal show etc. And that keeps me from caring about who or what is attracted too me. Happiness and water are guy to life yo vkN78.png

    How do y'all react in situations like those?
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    Apr 04, 2014 4:53 AM GMT
    tumblr_lm2r4vw3B81qgf4o3o1_500.gif
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    Apr 04, 2014 4:55 AM GMT
    It slightly depresses me and disappoints me but I just look for other things to do. Gays are no easy bunch. They complain about everything and are always very picky. Well, most of them.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Apr 04, 2014 5:07 AM GMT
    no, every time I got rejected just because of my look, I think "IT'S YOUR LOSS" icon_twisted.gif

    well, and I went home playing Radiohead's Creep that night.
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:09 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidfolks stealing those coli smilies now. icon_lol.gif the coli is innovating things.

    as for your question, no. why would i be offended? of course, i would be disappointed at being rejected but it ain't the end of the world now. over time, i forget about it and the saga continues.

    but speaking of which, i do take offense if some dude gets out of pocket and acts as if he's better than me on some bullshit like i'm beneath him. i'll take a rejection but not to the point where it gets disrespectful or some dude is on some "don't talk to me. you're beneath" shit. i remember some cunt on okcupid from new york came @ me like that with wannabe balling ass tentament living ass when i said hi to him. i don't know what he was smoking or who the fuck he thought he was BUT that's the wrong way to come at me. i would have probably smacked the shit out of him if i was drunk or in a bad mood talking about "not interested". where in fucks name did you get the idea that "hi" meant that i want to date your bitch ass? fucker are you serious? i don't like folks that seem to want to stroke their ego at any sign of attention that someone gives them. they think that someone smiling @ them means that that person wants to date them. i'm cool BUT i do at times react when someone fucks with me. if someone thinks they're going to pull that shit on me, they needs to rethink that shit.


    The Coil & KTT oh yeah smiletongue.png


    When it gets disrespectful oh yeah... that's a bit different. If ole dude is giving a food pyramid of reasons of why they your ugly. That's just dumb icon_lol.gif i have had guys kind of do that too me. If i say hi to them or something. Usually cause of the way i dress. I've been confused with a drug dealer, gangster, punker, and homeless person? kanyelaugh.png

    When someone does that high and mighty act i walk away. Now when i was younger... i was a violent lad. Got into lots of fights, and even when i first started dating. When i was 19 or so... one guy was kind of snobby to me at a bar or something. I was just trying to talk and he treated me like i was an infected alien sperm. Long story short i punched him... yeah not coolicon_lol.gif But i have really calmed down and learned to enjoy life and not let little thing's bug me anymore. Plus i drink lots of water icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:11 AM GMT
    Karl saidno, every time I got rejected just because of my look, I think "IT'S YOUR LOSS" icon_twisted.gif

    well, and I went home playing Radiohead's Creep that night.


    I would like the radiohead part... except Kid A is so much better (Uh oh i just sounded like a hipster)

    And it's true! it's a loss for them. Since you have such great taste in rock music. Who could turn that down icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    No idea how it feels like icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    Xavier92 saidIt slightly depresses me and disappoints me but I just look for other things to do. Gays are no easy bunch. They complain about everything and are always very picky. Well, most of them.


    It does seem that way from the outside. i have not been ''out'' for too long. And when i started going to a club or bar or any type of meetup. It did seem a lot of gay guys were in that mind set. But we are all very different from each other. There are those who complain and are picky etc. But there are thousands who are different. We are all our own different man! don't let the band ones get ya down.
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:14 AM GMT
    xrichx saidtumblr_lm2r4vw3B81qgf4o3o1_500.gif


    You need that purified water.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Apr 04, 2014 5:15 AM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    Karl saidno, every time I got rejected just because of my look, I think "IT'S YOUR LOSS" icon_twisted.gif

    well, and I went home playing Radiohead's Creep that night.


    I would like the radiohead part... except Kid A is so much better (Uh oh i just sounded like a hipster)

    And it's true! it's a loss for them. Since you have such great taste in rock music. Who could turn that down icon_twisted.gif


    sounding like a hipster is ok.

    I love mocking people who didn't give a damn about songs I had recommended years ago, and when the song gets famous, they go crazy for it.

    #indiefanfirstproblem
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:20 AM GMT
    Karl said
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    Karl saidno, every time I got rejected just because of my look, I think "IT'S YOUR LOSS" icon_twisted.gif

    well, and I went home playing Radiohead's Creep that night.


    I would like the radiohead part... except Kid A is so much better (Uh oh i just sounded like a hipster)

    And it's true! it's a loss for them. Since you have such great taste in rock music. Who could turn that down icon_twisted.gif


    sounding like a hipster is ok.

    I love mocking people who didn't give a damn about songs I had recommended years ago, and when the song gets famous, they go crazy for it.

    #indiefanfirstproblem


    I remember circa 01/02 i told a lot of people about Coldplay and The White Stripes. They were both HUGE in Japan. I tried to tell them about The Scientist, Feel In Love With A Girl, Yellow etc.

    Then Coldplay came out with Clocks & White Stripes Seven Nation Army. They blew up... and all my friends who didn't like their songs before... were fans overnight KP4IM.png

    I also predicted the rise of Linkin Park. And we all know how that turned out.
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    owl_bundy said
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    owl_bundy saidfolks stealing those coli smilies now. icon_lol.gif the coli is innovating things.

    as for your question, no. why would i be offended? of course, i would be disappointed at being rejected but it ain't the end of the world now. over time, i forget about it and the saga continues.

    but speaking of which, i do take offense if some dude gets out of pocket and acts as if he's better than me on some bullshit like i'm beneath him. i'll take a rejection but not to the point where it gets disrespectful or some dude is on some "don't talk to me. you're beneath" shit. i remember some cunt on okcupid from new york came @ me like that with wannabe balling ass tentament living ass when i said hi to him. i don't know what he was smoking or who the fuck he thought he was BUT that's the wrong way to come at me. i would have probably smacked the shit out of him if i was drunk or in a bad mood talking about "not interested". where in fucks name did you get the idea that "hi" meant that i want to date your bitch ass? fucker are you serious? i don't like folks that seem to want to stroke their ego at any sign of attention that someone gives them. they think that someone smiling @ them means that that person wants to date them. i'm cool BUT i do at times react when someone fucks with me. if someone thinks they're going to pull that shit on me, they needs to rethink that shit.


    The Coil & KTT oh yeah smiletongue.png


    When it gets disrespectful oh yeah... that's a bit different. If ole dude is giving a food pyramid of reasons of why they your ugly. That's just dumb icon_lol.gif i have had guys kind of do that too me. If i say hi to them or something. Usually cause of the way i dress. I've been confused with a drug dealer, gangster, punker, and homeless person? kanyelaugh.png

    When someone does that high and mighty act i walk away. Now when i was younger... i was a violent lad. Got into lots of fights, and even when i first started dating. When i was 19 or so... one guy was kind of snobby to me at a bar or something. I was just trying to talk and he treated me like i was an infected alien sperm. Long story short i punched him... yeah not coolicon_lol.gif But i have really calmed down and learned to enjoy life and not let little thing's bug me anymore. Plus i drink lots of water icon_razz.gif


    don't even get why dudes even try to pull that shit especially on dating sites. i mean some dude who basically is having trouble meeting or finding guys or whatever acting all cocky on a damn dating site like he's the shit or some prized catch. really? icon_confused.gif



    This is how i personally see it. I think most guys on dating sites are full of shit. On a dating site you can be WHOEVER you want to be. You're pretty much playing a role. And i see a lot of those guys as just playing a role. Which is why online dating is always iffy in my eyes icon_eek.gif
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Apr 04, 2014 5:24 AM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said

    I remember circa 01/02 i told a lot of people about Coldplay and The White Stripes. They were both HUGE in Japan. I tried to tell them about The Scientist, Feel In Love With A Girl, Yellow etc.

    Then Coldplay came out with Clocks & White Stripes Seven Nation Army. They blew up... and all my friends who didn't like their songs before... were fans overnight KP4IM.png

    I also predicted the rise of Linkin Park. And we all know how that turned out.


    interesting !

    in my case it was Imagine Dragons, Capital Cities, Young The Giant and more more more.

    I have a facebook page about American music, few years ago I posted Imagine Dragons's Demons and Capital Cities's Safe And Sound.
    Nobody careddddd , they called me a hipster that I listened to music that no one cares.

    in 2012-2013 Imagine Dragons got famous and so was Capital Cites's Safe And Sound. They asked me "hey Kha, have you listened to Imagine Dragons or CC , they're great".
    I was like "hmmmm , I don't know them anymore" lol .

    hahaha this conversation is so off-topic : ))
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    Apr 04, 2014 5:31 AM GMT
    Karl said
    lifeduringwartime23 said

    I remember circa 01/02 i told a lot of people about Coldplay and The White Stripes. They were both HUGE in Japan. I tried to tell them about The Scientist, Feel In Love With A Girl, Yellow etc.

    Then Coldplay came out with Clocks & White Stripes Seven Nation Army. They blew up... and all my friends who didn't like their songs before... were fans overnight KP4IM.png

    I also predicted the rise of Linkin Park. And we all know how that turned out.


    interesting !

    in my case it was Imagine Dragons, Capital Cities, Young The Giant and more more more.

    I have a facebook page about American music, few years ago I posted Imagine Dragons's Demons and Capital Cities's Safe And Sound.
    Nobody careddddd , they called me a hipster that I listened to music that no one cares.

    in 2012-2013 Imagine Dragons got famous and so was Capital Cites's Safe And Sound. They asked me "hey Kha, have you listened to Imagine Dragons or CC , they're great".
    I was like "hmmmm , I don't know them anymore" lol .

    hahaha this conversation is so off-topic : ))


    Nah! music is essential to who we like... i think... sure i'll go with it haha.

    Imagine Dragons are so damn meh too me. That Demons song sounds like Linkin Park whiny shit. And, don't get me wrong. I support Mike Shinoda cause he's Half white Half Japanese like me (Gotta support a fellow brother) and he's the only Asian producer to make it really big in the US. But his lyrics are so whiny icon_twisted.gif Breaking The Habit is hilarious.

    I even heard Imagine Dragons played in a gay club apparently. Once that happens your officially not a rock band anymore kanyelaugh.png

    I'm sorry... I'll stop this Imagine Dragons bashing. vkN78.png
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    Apr 04, 2014 6:24 AM GMT
    owl_bundy said
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    owl_bundy said
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    owl_bundy saidfolks stealing those coli smilies now. icon_lol.gif the coli is innovating things.

    as for your question, no. why would i be offended? of course, i would be disappointed at being rejected but it ain't the end of the world now. over time, i forget about it and the saga continues.

    but speaking of which, i do take offense if some dude gets out of pocket and acts as if he's better than me on some bullshit like i'm beneath him. i'll take a rejection but not to the point where it gets disrespectful or some dude is on some "don't talk to me. you're beneath" shit. i remember some cunt on okcupid from new york came @ me like that with wannabe balling ass tentament living ass when i said hi to him. i don't know what he was smoking or who the fuck he thought he was BUT that's the wrong way to come at me. i would have probably smacked the shit out of him if i was drunk or in a bad mood talking about "not interested". where in fucks name did you get the idea that "hi" meant that i want to date your bitch ass? fucker are you serious? i don't like folks that seem to want to stroke their ego at any sign of attention that someone gives them. they think that someone smiling @ them means that that person wants to date them. i'm cool BUT i do at times react when someone fucks with me. if someone thinks they're going to pull that shit on me, they needs to rethink that shit.


    The Coil & KTT oh yeah smiletongue.png


    When it gets disrespectful oh yeah... that's a bit different. If ole dude is giving a food pyramid of reasons of why they your ugly. That's just dumb icon_lol.gif i have had guys kind of do that too me. If i say hi to them or something. Usually cause of the way i dress. I've been confused with a drug dealer, gangster, punker, and homeless person? kanyelaugh.png

    When someone does that high and mighty act i walk away. Now when i was younger... i was a violent lad. Got into lots of fights, and even when i first started dating. When i was 19 or so... one guy was kind of snobby to me at a bar or something. I was just trying to talk and he treated me like i was an infected alien sperm. Long story short i punched him... yeah not coolicon_lol.gif But i have really calmed down and learned to enjoy life and not let little thing's bug me anymore. Plus i drink lots of water icon_razz.gif


    don't even get why dudes even try to pull that shit especially on dating sites. i mean some dude who basically is having trouble meeting or finding guys or whatever acting all cocky on a damn dating site like he's the shit or some prized catch. really? icon_confused.gif



    This is how i personally see it. I think most guys on dating sites are full of shit. On a dating site you can be WHOEVER you want to be. You're pretty much playing a role. And i see a lot of those guys as just playing a role. Which is why online dating is always iffy in my eyes icon_eek.gif


    hell yeah, that shit is NOT cool. some folks try WAY too hard to make an impression as some big shot and they end up looking real stupid because they aren't the same way in real life or putting up a front. they want someone who's down to earth but they present themselves as larger than life or some big shots or big ballers. sheit, i'm just a regular dude that doesn't ask the world for somebody or have high expectations where i expect some dude to be everything because i myself am not that. i also am aware that there's some dudes that want to be on some intensive shit where they want a guy to be whipped or sprung where i lose track of reality. i'm really not looking for that either because i know how some guys use that shit to take advantage of whoever where so and so is deep in love to the point where he's ready to be okay with things he wouldn't normally let anybody get away with such as stealing from him or a punch in the face.

    whenever i see some dudes profiles, they ask the world from somebody and they have NOTHING to offer. not only that. they also want to control that guy to the point where he can't even be himself or has to give up the things he likes. he has to be into the same exact shit that they're into or else as if he has to be an exact replica of them. wtf. icon_confused.gif if they work out, he has to workout too. if they likes rock or pop music and doesn't listen to rap, he has to do the same thing too. if they like onion rings and apple pie, he has to like it to. they won't change for him though because to themselves, "they're perfect".



    ahahaahah! this reminds me why i stay off dating sites. Some dudes do write an essay of ''worthiness'' which is kinda dull. I don't have time to meet every requirement like this is a job application. I personally like a little bit of opposites. For me opposites attract is a truth more than a fantasy. It's a chance to explore new thing's in life. Some guys won't go outside that comfort zone.

    I went on a few dates with a guy in 2012. Dude was honestly kind of selfish. I actually went and did thing's that he was into. For like 3 dates we went to places he suggested, did thing's he wanted to do, and i had fun exploring. Him? pssssh kttcolisnoop

    He would never eat what i suggested. See what movie i suggested, music i like, places i liked to go to etc. He basically told me he needs a guy who is ''worthy'' enough to do what he wants. I pretty much dropped that dating, like Randy Savage used to throw The Hulk at wrestlemania.

    trust me brah... dating sites aren't worth it. You'll find that special man emot-slick.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 04, 2014 7:19 AM GMT
    It's a little mixed but generally, no, I don't get upset when someone rejects me. It just means that I just wasn't his type and that's okay, you can't be for everyone. I personally would rather want to be rejected then led on.

    Now, if the guy uses that rejection to insult me, that's where I feel a bit of anger but I don't stoop down to the level of insulting. It's just not me to do that.
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    Apr 04, 2014 7:30 AM GMT
    Nirvana_Fan1991 saidIt's a little mixed but generally, no, I don't get upset when someone rejects me. It just means that I just wasn't his type and that's okay, you can't be for everyone. I personally would rather want to be rejected then led on.

    Now, if the guy uses that rejection to insult me, that's where I feel a bit of anger but I don't stoop down to the level of insulting. It's just not me to do that.


    Just tell them you Come As You Are. As you want to be.. as a friend... and that you don't have a gun vkN78.png
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 04, 2014 7:34 AM GMT
    Totally. Anyone who isn't turned on by wrinkles and age spots is an agest fucktard! icon_mad.gif Don't tell me its just "preference"! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 04, 2014 6:13 PM GMT
    There is soooo much that goes into attraction that I can't get mad if a guy doesn't like me. Most of us are so complicated in what we want that I assume any attraction outside of lust is highly unlikely. At most only 10 percent of men I will ever meet will be able to want me based on their orientation alone. Add in the fact that I'm also black, have dreadlocks and prefer hatchbacks over sedans and I can't realistically expect to be everyone's type. I won't lie I do get butt hurt when someone doesn't want me based on a fundamental part of me that I consider to be a positive attribute, no blacks or fems. That makes me feel like I am fundamentally not worthy. I have learned even then I can't get to mad there because people are complicated and I can't let another person's complications affect how I perceive myself.
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    Apr 04, 2014 6:22 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidfolks stealing those coli smilies now. icon_lol.gif the coli is innovating things.

    as for your question, no. why would i be offended? of course, i would be disappointed at being rejected but it ain't the end of the world now. over time, i forget about it and the saga continues.

    but speaking of which, i do take offense if some dude gets out of pocket and acts as if he's better than me on some bullshit like i'm beneath him. i'll take a rejection but not to the point where it gets disrespectful or some dude is on some "don't talk to me. you're beneath" shit. i remember some cunt on okcupid from new york came @ me like that with wannabe balling ass tentament living ass when i said hi to him. i don't know what he was smoking or who the fuck he thought he was BUT that's the wrong way to come at me. if dude would have popped that shit in my face and i wasn't in the right frame of mind, i would have threw my drink or smacked the shit out of him talking about "not interested". where in fucks name did you get the idea that "hi" meant that i want to date your bitch ass? fucker are you serious? i don't like folks that seem to want to stroke their ego at any sign of attention that someone gives them. they think that someone smiling @ them means that that person wants to date them. i'm cool BUT i do at times react when someone fucks with me. if someone thinks they're going to pull that shit on me, they needs to rethink that shit.
    .

    I wonder if the fact that as a group we have had to hide for so long that we get accustomed to looking for signs of another guy being into and end up mistaking kindness for desire at times. I notice that a lot of gay men think that any man who makes 1.5+ seconds of eye contact wants to fuck them.
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    Apr 04, 2014 9:36 PM GMT
    taichiguy saidThere is soooo much that goes into attraction that I can't get mad if a guy doesn't like me. Most of us are so complicated in what we want that I assume any attraction outside of lust is highly unlikely. At most only 10 percent of men I will ever meet will be able to want me based on their orientation alone. Add in the fact that I'm also black, have dreadlocks and prefer hatchbacks over sedans and I can't realistically expect to be everyone's type. I won't lie I do get butt hurt when someone doesn't want me based on a fundamental part of me that I consider to be a positive attribute, no blacks or fems. That makes me feel like I am fundamentally not worthy. I have learned even then I can't get to mad there because people are complicated and I can't let another person's complications affect how I perceive myself.


    The race one is a bit iffy for me. If a guy doesn't like Asians... i just don't pursue him at all. I know people try to ''educate'' other who have preferences like that. I once was that way icon_lol.gif but it's not my job to educate him. And if he already has a mind set that he's not attractive to Asians. Then his mind for is already poisoned. Luckily someone like me is open to a cool guy... and ethnicity plays no role for me. There are guys out there like me who don't give 2 fucks about ethnicity. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 1:08 AM GMT
    BTW! thanks for all the great responses.
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    Apr 05, 2014 10:25 PM GMT
    Another thing to remember in regards to online dating. Whether it's this forum, or one of those apps. You haven't met any of these guys in person. Most are just a picture on a screen. Yes, you may talk and everything. But, if they turn you down. Say something hateful, aren't attracted to you, or you message someone and they're a dick in the response.

    Just remember... you haven't even met the person. Why let a complete stranger you never met face to face ruin your day? or let someone on the forums hurt you with something they said. You'll probably never see them anyways. So don't give them the power of making you angryicon_smile.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 saidAnother thing to remember in regards to online dating. Whether it's this forum, or one of those apps. You haven't met any of these guys in person. Most are just a picture on a screen. Yes, you may talk and everything. But, if they turn you down. Say something hateful, aren't attracted to you, or you message someone and they're a dick in the response.

    Just remember... you haven't even met the person. Why let a complete stranger you never met face to face ruin your day? or let someone on the forums hurt you with something they said. You'll probably never see them anyways. So don't give them the power of making you angryicon_smile.gif


    +1 icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 06, 2014 8:21 PM GMT
    Here's another one I've wondered about too. Do you get mad when a guy might say ''we don't have enough in common'' usually if someone says i just respect it and let it go. But others tell me it's good to fight for that. Especially if you feel y'all do actually have some things in common. Personally i kind of like the opposites attract ideal myself.