Have Any Of You Had Anger Problems?

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    Apr 05, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    What's up fam. I was wondering if any of you had anger problems growing up? and what you did to calm it down in your older years. Here's a rather (Long) story icon_lol.gif but it's my personal experience with anger problems. And overcoming them, would love to here how others fought it too.

    When i was young, around 10 or so. I was in an Asian gang from my neighborhood. I lived in a really rough area as a kid. There were quite a few people in my Texas town who were hardcore racists. Like Disney 1930's style yo icon_lol.gif
    I got jumped quite a bit when i was 9 and 10. And when i was 10 i also got jumped and stabbed for some Jordans. That was kind of the last straw for me. I was an angry young man pretty much everyday. My cousin sold drugs for a living, and also was apart of a gang. I met some guys from there and became close with them. After awhile i joined and got into fights weekly. There was a lot of racial tensions between the whites, blacks, and Asians. The whites were pretty racists against us and it led to some bloody fights. I became a pretty ruthless kid. We got to the point... that we would beat up any strange kid trying to come into our neighborhood.

    To make that part short, i stopped when i was 12. My cousin and a friend of mine were shot right in front of me. And it scared the absolute shit out of me. And after awhile i realized gang life is violence upon violence. Nothing at all is solved in the equation.

    I left that whole thing behind and went to middle school. I was involved with football, wrestling, and even orchestra. But i got angry VERY easily and got into lots of fights. If you so much as starred at me wrong... we would be scrappin. House parties, lunch time at school, on the football field etc. i got into some pretty bloody and nasty fights. I'm ashamed how violent i was back then. Around this time i became best friends with this guy... who was a crip. And he was getting out of the gang. You think i sounded bad? my friend used to wait in bushes, beat up people, and steal their money. He became an amazing person throughout the years. We did martial arts together and he taught me how to be calm. Grant it we got into some scuffles... but only a few icon_lol.gif

    As i got older and older he showed me how i wore anger. And i did! i wore anger as if it was a hat on my head. Buddha said it best here ''Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned''

    As i got older i realized how anger affects others. How it hurts, provokes, puts others in fear. I want to have kids someday... and a partner who loves me. And i don't want them to fear me as a man. But embrace me as a caring and worldly person. I learned to channel my anger in other ways. I got into boxing for one! and was a fighter briefly my senior year. My senior year.. i got into 0 fights. I was thinking all the time about the ins and outs of a fight.

    Someone offended me? someones being a dick to me? life moves on and so does my mind. Wasting time on something petty like insults takes to much energy. I'm 23 now, and the last few years have been great. I have learned when i feel the hot coal, i throw it into the river. I have sat and thought long and hard abut the effects of anger. Once you think of it, channel it, make love to it, fuck it, marry it, divorce it etc. In a sense... that's when you can let it go... and no prenup.

    I'm a pretty energetic, crazy, and positive person everyday. If someone insults me in real life, or on a forum kanyelaugh.png i don't get bothered by it at all. I just laugh, cause it has no effect int he long term, and i go about my life. Same with one of my posts about a guy not being into you. If a guy is not attracted to me or I'm not his type. I don't frown, or argue with him about it. I move on, cause that's a part of life. Even if it's politics... i have learned to look at things from numerous sides. And not just get angry at one. Focus all that anger into one place. And then throw it away like it was a hot coal.

    It doesn't take a day or a week. But with time you'll feel cleansed in the mind.

    Sorry that this was so long! i would love to hear your guys stories though. How many of you have dealt with anger issues? how did you overcome them? do you still deal with them today?

    Peace, Purified Water, and Jazz yo.


  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 05, 2014 5:17 PM GMT
    tl;dr as I'm late for work, but yeah. When I was a kid growing up having fantasies about killing peeps was not uncommon for me. *Fortunately* it never became my reality. It's all repressed anger shit due to never having had my personal boundaries respected as a kid.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 05, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    bonapart01 saidNo, I am always nice and calm and charming, I am one of the nicest and best people in the galaxy

    I am simply a perfection

    icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 5:18 PM GMT
    I also have anger management problems. I usually just listen to calm music. Piano especially. That or just start drawing.
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    Apr 05, 2014 5:31 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say that I have anger problems...I would say that I have a problem with people doing and saying stupid shit which may come across as me being angry...but I'm usually pretty happy go lucky....if my feathers get ruffled, CLEARLY someone has done or said something stupid.
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    Apr 05, 2014 5:39 PM GMT
    I'm very calm and collected but I do have my bursts of anger if I'm pushed. Most times I'll get annoyed at certain things but I barely get excessively angry.

    If you mess with:

    1. My brother
    2. My mother

    you will see the rage.
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    Apr 05, 2014 5:40 PM GMT
    Yes
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Apr 05, 2014 5:44 PM GMT
    Me.
    but I used to be.
    When I'm tired, I yelled at anyone that accosted me.
    Strangely I'm a very calm and easygoing guy now.

    When I was in middle school I was a victim of people like you haha.
    Hmm one day, there's be somebody who can make you stay calm, forever : )
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    Apr 05, 2014 5:58 PM GMT
    Some day I will have amassed enough anger and hate to shoot dark force lightning out of my fingers. Until then, I will quietly plot to overthrow the senate and exterminate the Jedi once and for all icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    Xavier92 saidI also have anger management problems. I usually just listen to calm music. Piano especially. That or just start drawing.


    Art is a great way to express anger! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:00 PM GMT
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    Xavier92 saidI also have anger management problems. I usually just listen to calm music. Piano especially. That or just start drawing.


    Art is a great way to express anger! icon_biggrin.gif


    Yeah, especially if listening to heavy metal icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:01 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidyeah... icon_sad.gif it's kind of hard to explain though. i wouldn't say that it's bad to the point where i start throwing fists or have tried to kill somebody though because i'm well aware of how people have guns, knives, are crazy as fuck, looking to get violent whenever they get the chance. i can't fight so i don't even bother. i'm not getting fucked up, losing my life or hurting anybody where i could get locked up. would rather take the fail than to lose my freedom over some dumb shit. the most i've reached the peak was back when i was 15 where i'd flip out on folks giving them a nasty attitude like when folks would cut me on the lunch line. i was on that wannabe thug shit. i kind of am able to control it where it doesn't get to that BUT that shit storms inside of me where it's like a volcano where i decide to take that shit out through writing or whatever. when i really get angry or upset with somebody or irritated, i'll say some horrible, hurtful things. would say that i have an anger problem but think too fucking much and am paranoid where i'm watching folks around me for whatever.


    There's lots of ins and outs of fighting. I got some pretty bad cuts, bruises, and broken bones from fighting. It's never worth it... this 3 minutes of scrapping for a weeks worth of pain icon_lol.gif

    Writing, art, music etc. Are great ways to channel your anger. And express yourself in a healthy way. When angry... it's best to remember where you are in life. Where you came from, obstacles you've gone through, and people who love you. Think about some of the positive things of your life. And realize this bullshit anger is only temporary.. and not worth the headache icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:08 PM GMT
    Karl saidMe.
    but I used to be.
    When I'm tired, I yelled at anyone that accosted me.
    Strangely I'm a very calm and easygoing guy now.

    When I was in middle school I was a victim of people like you haha.
    Hmm one day, there's be somebody who can make you stay calm, forever : )


    From our talks you seem incredibly mellow and humble. I can't see you getting angry often! which is good. And... well... sorry to hear about that icon_confused.gif I'm ashamed of who i was then. I'm not that man now... hell i wasn't a man back then. Just an angry, stupid boy.

    I have had 3 serious boyfriends since i was 19. I think that was another thing that kept me very calm. My first bf taught me thai, all about buddhism, and love. That sounds cheesy as fuck... but it changed my life a little icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:09 PM GMT
    Anomalous1 saidSome day I will have amassed enough anger and hate to shoot dark force lightning out of my fingers. Until then, I will quietly plot to overthrow the senate and exterminate the Jedi once and for all icon_twisted.gif


    Just leave Samuel L. Jackson. I need him to yell at me during workouts.

    ''LIFT IT, LIFT IT MOTHERFUCKER I SAID LIFT!!!!!!''
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:10 PM GMT
    Richenstein saidI'm very calm and collected but I do have my bursts of anger if I'm pushed. Most times I'll get annoyed at certain things but I barely get excessively angry.

    If you mess with:

    1. My brother
    2. My mother

    you will see the rage.


    Messing with family is a huge no no. I think if someone is messing with your family. It's one of the times anger is justified.
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:11 PM GMT
    MikeW saidtl;dr as I'm late for work, but yeah. When I was a kid growing up having fantasies about killing peeps was not uncommon for me. *Fortunately* it never became my reality. It's all repressed anger shit due to never having had my personal boundaries respected as a kid.


    Sad to say i had... well i don't know about fantasies. But when i would fight a guy... i had the thought of ''I'm going to kill this motherfucker'' that was never good...
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:12 PM GMT
    I also recommend playing bloody video games icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:13 PM GMT
    I killed a man just to watch him die.
    icon_evil.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:13 PM GMT
    BlackCat90 saidI wouldn't say that I have anger problems...I would say that I have a problem with people doing and saying stupid shit which may come across as me being angry...but I'm usually pretty happy go lucky....if my feathers get ruffled, CLEARLY someone has done or said something stupid.


    That's bound to happen... daily for most of us clappygonethatclapperdead.png Like i mentioned to owl_bundy, you just have to think of the positives. And realize this is irrelevant and powerless to your life. The stupidity of the moment that is. I usually just laugh at it and go do work, work out, play music, pee. Well, i drink water a lot. Bound to be pee icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:14 PM GMT
    Xavier92 saidI also recommend playing bloody video games icon_smile.gif


    I used to do that with Grand Theft Auto... guilty icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    Upper_Cdn saidI killed a man just to watch him die.
    icon_evil.gif


    In those Folsom Prison Blues days?
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    Apr 05, 2014 6:40 PM GMT
    owl_bundy said
    lifeduringwartime23 said
    owl_bundy saidyeah... icon_sad.gif it's kind of hard to explain though. i wouldn't say that it's bad to the point where i start throwing fists or have tried to kill somebody though because i'm well aware of how people have guns, knives, are crazy as fuck, looking to get violent whenever they get the chance. i can't fight so i don't even bother. i'm not getting fucked up, losing my life or hurting anybody where i could get locked up. would rather take the fail than to lose my freedom over some dumb shit. the most i've reached the peak was back when i was 15 where i'd flip out on folks giving them a nasty attitude like when folks would cut me on the lunch line. i was on that wannabe thug shit. i kind of am able to control it where it doesn't get to that BUT that shit storms inside of me where it's like a volcano where i decide to take that shit out through writing or whatever. when i really get angry or upset with somebody or irritated, i'll say some horrible, hurtful things. would say that i have an anger problem but think too fucking much and am paranoid where i'm watching folks around me for whatever.


    There's lots of ins and outs of fighting. I got some pretty bad cuts, bruises, and broken bones from fighting. It's never worth it... this 3 minutes of scrapping for a weeks worth of pain icon_lol.gif

    Writing, art, music etc. Are great ways to channel your anger. And express yourself in a healthy way. When angry... it's best to remember where you are in life. Where you came from, obstacles you've gone through, and people who love you. Think about some of the positive things of your life. And realize this bullshit anger is only temporary.. and not worth the headache icon_smile.gif


    fighting is a lot of work but too fucking risky plus it really doesn't solve anything.

    the thing when it comes to people getting me angry or having anger that i have a big issue with is that i fucking feel the need to have the final word or want to make someone pay for making me feel like that BUT i don't know how to. i guess not forgiving, forgetting or letting go of some shit. like if some dude really gets me mad, i WON'T forget it and it could be some shit from 20 something years ago. there's actually people that i'm really angry with that long ago that i still don't like to this day.

    i guess some of that shit is because they hurt me and that growing up i pretty much was the guy who was vulnerable where folks saw me as an easy target for whatever reason. like i had some folks that would bully me or try to hurt me for no real reason other than they just felt good degrading or hurting somebody. i never really got a chance to resolve the hurt and pain that i experienced that they caused. i simply wanted revenge or to make them feel just as fucked up as they made me feel. over time after whatever, that shit made me really hostile towards people where it's changed the way i see and view people. like i'm paranoid and don't really like to associate myself much with others out of fear of having to go through that same old shit again. then again, i have this low self esteem and i think others view me as being a loser too so it's like why give a fuck when people are going to shit on you anyway. so i start shit, expect shit and am always anticipating shit where i expect someone to not like me for whatever reason it is.

    to tell you the truth, the reason why i simply didn't go off into the route where i was like "fuck my freedom. i don't care about living tomorrow. i hate the whole world so i'm going to terrorize everybody and their mama. hurt people. rob them. buy me a gun and shoot at people for the hell of it" is because i have hope for a better tomorrow or haven't given up on life. otherwise, i would have been doing who knows what. i just HOPE that i never get to that point where i simply have no will to live where i don't care about my life or anybody else where i'm willing to do a life sentence or die. i wouldn't do that BUT you know how it is when you're down on your luck and nothing matters anymore where you can do whatever because you know what your fate is. that's the shit that suicidal people feel. the point of no return. that's why that whole anger problem shit scares me and goes beyond just writing it out or whatever.



    I have always have hope for a better tomorrow as well. Which is why stopping the circle of violence is appropriate. Anger breads anger and more and more. I hope to help other people with the anger they have. Trust me... if i can get over it. When i used to be a violent person and ruthless. Anyone ca icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 05, 2014 7:03 PM GMT
    Anger manifests itself in different ways. I have never been a violent angry person. When I was angry I did not eat or did not take my pain killers and on occasions I found discreet ways of self harming. I had this bizarre view that if I died the people who neglected or bullied me would have to live with the guilt and that would be my way of getting pay back. Fortunately I have made steps as an adult not to be like that any more.
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    Apr 05, 2014 7:07 PM GMT
    Sorry but tl;dr

    I used to have anger problems as a child.

    I still have anger, but I choose not to act on it. Its not easy, but its not that hard either.

    You accept how it is, and how it will be.
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    Apr 05, 2014 7:59 PM GMT
    Thanks all for the responses btw!