I'm not physically attracted to him...

  • KittenpasteCo...

    Posts: 245

    Apr 07, 2014 3:39 AM GMT
    So, I've been with this guy a little over a month. We have similar hobbies and I enjoy his company and personality but I have absolutely 0 physical attraction to him. To the point that I don't cum when we're doing stuff. I don't know what I should do... he seems -very- much into me. I don't exactly have much social or relationship experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2014 3:42 AM GMT
    If you do stuff with him, how can you not be attracted to him? I find that weird. Anyway, if you aren't into him, stop hooking up and tell him the truth.


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    Apr 07, 2014 3:45 AM GMT
    ... or do what everyone else in the world does. String him along until you find someone else.
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    Apr 07, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter said... or do what everyone else in the world does. String him along until you find someone else.


    Lame

    Dump him - relationship counseling month one? Lol no.
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    Apr 07, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    Why is it lame?
    I think to dump a friend just because you don't want to have sex with him is premature.
    Why should the two of them spend every night alone when they have no one else yet?
    Things could change.
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    Apr 07, 2014 4:01 AM GMT
    Lol uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that reads so despo

    Stay with him because you haven't found another yet.

    Lol no
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    Apr 07, 2014 4:17 AM GMT
    He says he enjoys his company.
    You say to dump him.
    You're giving him bad advice.
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    Apr 07, 2014 4:23 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidHe says he enjoys his company.
    You say to dump him.
    You're giving him bad advice.


    Oh stringing him along, lying to him, and making him fall while you aren't interested in more than friendship is better advice. Psycho logic.
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    Apr 07, 2014 4:28 AM GMT
    If non sexual friendship is the extent you would like from him; TELL him you want to be friends ONLY. That is if you even enjoy his company in a non-sexual/& non-'romantic' connection kind of way, in any case.

    I've been in a similar scenario a few times, but I usually let it be known (in the least hurtful way possible, I hope) by the second or third date/meet up or so, at the very latest, once I know for sure, & more than a few times after the first date also. As I mature and get to know exactly what I do and don't want, I tend to decide much quicker than in my (relatively) younger days.

    The sooner you realise, the sooner you should make it clear and be conscious not to send out what may be perceived as mixed signals and behaviours. That will only lead him on and prolong a scenario you don't even really like yourself. It's a loose loose, illogical, self-sabotaging behaviour in the long run.

    That unmistakable magnetic chemistry that can exist between people is very important. Don't ignore when it exists, nor when there is a definitive lack of it.
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    Apr 07, 2014 4:47 AM GMT
    Sweetooth said
    JohnSpotter saidHe says he enjoys his company.
    You say to dump him.
    You're giving him bad advice.

    Oh stringing him along, lying to him, and making him fall while you aren't interested in more than friendship is better advice. Psycho logic.

    You're the RJ misquote king.
    Who said anything about lying?
    Sure it was flippant to say "string him along" but I just meant to stay together.
    You don't have enough facts yet to be telling him to dump him. That's really thoughtless advice.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 07, 2014 4:51 AM GMT
    If you were never sexually attracted to him in the first place, why did you have sex with him ... you could have avoided all this by not having sex with people you are not attracted to.
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    Apr 07, 2014 4:51 AM GMT
    Lol oh so thoughtless, he who would sleep with one under false pretense

    At best let him know you want friendship, beyond that you're squirming under the pressure of your own words.

    Really think of it - take john's advice and look like him! Yay........?

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    Apr 07, 2014 4:57 AM GMT
    Snaz saidLol oh so thoughtless, he who would sleep with one under false pretense
    At best let him know you want friends with benefits, beyond that you're squirming under the pressure of your own words.

    What false pretense?
    If KPC doesn't cum, it's pretty obvious there's an attraction problem.
    I never said don't talk to him. I said don't dump him. Now you're back-peddling and saying the same thing.
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:01 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz saidLol oh so thoughtless, he who would sleep with one under false pretense
    At best let him know you want friends with benefits, beyond that you're squirming under the pressure of your own words.

    What false pretense?
    If KP doesn't cum, it's pretty obvious there's an attraction problem.
    I never said don't talk to him. I said don't dump him. Now you're back-peddling and saying the same thing.


    Who said never talk to him - lol

    Fact remains your advice is despo
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:04 AM GMT
    My advice was pretty much the same as yours.
    We just said it differently.
    Your comments aren't making any sense.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Apr 07, 2014 5:05 AM GMT
    Sounds to me you are only interested in him as a friend. I think you should tell him that. The only issue is though if he is able to just be friends.
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:07 AM GMT
    Don't try to conflate my identity with your's, your's is like ceran wrap to me ; I'm already suffocating.

    Who would ever trust a person that dumps one relationship for another just so as not to be alone - ew.

    Or maybe you meant stringing along differently.

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    Apr 07, 2014 5:09 AM GMT
    Snaz saidDon't try to conflate my identity with your's, your's is like ceran wrap to me ; I'm already suffocating.
    Who would ever trust a person that dumps one relationship for another just so as not to be alone - ew.

    Are you proof reading before you post?
    Those sentences are out of whack.
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:12 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz saidDon't try to conflate my identity with your's, your's is like ceran wrap to me ; I'm already suffocating.
    Who would ever trust a person that dumps one relationship for another just so as not to be alone - ew.

    Are you proof reading before you post?
    Those sentences are out of whack.


    I pity your intentional incomprehension . You obviously can't keep a date to save your life thus, your advice.

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    Apr 07, 2014 5:19 AM GMT
    Snaz said
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz saidDon't try to conflate my identity with your's, your's is like ceran wrap to me ; I'm already suffocating.
    Who would ever trust a person that dumps one relationship for another just so as not to be alone - ew.

    Are you proof reading before you post?
    Those sentences are out of whack.

    I pity your intentional incomprehension . You obviously can't keep a date to save your life thus, your advice.

    Why would you pity it if it's intentional?
    Why are you taking about your identity and my dating life... and ceran wrap?
    You're rambling.
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz said
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz saidDon't try to conflate my identity with your's, your's is like ceran wrap to me ; I'm already suffocating.
    Who would ever trust a person that dumps one relationship for another just so as not to be alone - ew.

    Are you proof reading before you post?
    Those sentences are out of whack.

    I pity your intentional incomprehension . You obviously can't keep a date to save your life thus, your advice.

    Why would you pity it if it's intention?
    Why are you taking about your identity and my dating life... and ceran wrap?
    You're rambling.


    you're derailing. Try the tricks of the dateless ugly fatties elsewhere - you're gross and blocked.

  • Apr 07, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    I'm finding myself in a similar situation now...except it's not really "zero attraction". I mean we kind of have similar personalities, but I'm kind of growing bored of him, and not turned on by him much anymore either. I think I'll give it till the 2 month mark and then leave him. He'll be devastated, as he told me he loves me.

    Another odd thing: I told him how I feel, and he just shrugged it off and told me "don't worry, you think too much". WTF? I hoped to at least generate discussion.
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:22 AM GMT
    Snaz said
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz said
    JohnSpotter said
    Snaz saidDon't try to conflate my identity with your's, your's is like ceran wrap to me ; I'm already suffocating.
    Who would ever trust a person that dumps one relationship for another just so as not to be alone - ew.

    Are you proof reading before you post?
    Those sentences are out of whack.

    I pity your intentional incomprehension . You obviously can't keep a date to save your life thus, your advice.

    Why would you pity it if it's intentional?
    Why are you taking about your identity and my dating life... and ceran wrap?
    You're rambling.

    you're derailing.

    That's pretty much what I just said to you. Ceran wrap? Really?
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    Apr 07, 2014 5:50 AM GMT
    MisfitToy saidI think you should be honest with him, why prolong it?


    +1
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    Apr 07, 2014 10:44 AM GMT
    Lol I had a similar experience like this before. Well, I had 3 dates with this guy. Cute, smart, Leo sign, make good money, own a home. On our 4th date, I stayed over at his house and we were about to get to *it. Let just say that the physical/sexual chemistry weren't there. He was into me more than I was into him. So yeah, I sorta told him to just be friends afterwards like 3 days later. He got mad at me and took it as me dumping him and deleted me on FB. Aiya, I didn't feel bad though, I didn't string him along and let him loose to be with someone else who like him better. I can't control people's reactions though when I'm being honest. Oh well, I think you should tell him how you feel, Sexual chemistry is very important.