How important or unimportant is being gay to you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 4:59 PM GMT
    For me personally its an important part of my life at this particular moment.

    I'm coming out to people and feeling comfortable with being gay.

    Just a year ago I wasn't anywhere near where I am in life now.

    I'm not saying being gay is all that their is to me. I'm a Dean's list college senior who's applying to graduate school and I work full time.

    But figuring out my attraction, what I want and don't want in a man and being comfortable with talking to people has be great!

    So right now in your lives I want to know how much being gay plays a role in your life...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:06 PM GMT
    I'm happy to be gay, I just don't take it too seriously like most gays do. I don't feel the need to scream my sexuality to everyone and let people know what I am.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:11 PM GMT
    I'm not defined by my sexuality. It's just *part* of who I am. So it's neither important or unimportant. Some guys might consider that as lack of pride or whatever. But I don't care. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:12 PM GMT
    Whatever gramps..get naked already
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Apr 08, 2014 5:12 PM GMT
    Even at my vast old age, it plays a role: whom I associate with (gay friends, liberal friends, liberal church), my perception of beauty, many of my political affiliations, where I turn for comfort. Being gay is part of me, and I suspect that this is more so than with a heterosexual person, because as LGBT's we have to make choices and stand up for ourselves- but in the process we often become stronger, more self-examined human beings, and sometimes more compassionate.

    A young gay doctor friend of mine (27) is changing his career direction because he wants a profession that allows him to have an emotional life rather than a life where work determines everything. Being gay complicates this by narrowing the field. But it's also made him think and plan his career in more deliberate ways than might be the case otherwise. Being gay has been important.

    Being gay may matter a bit less to you as time goes on as you gain confidence and learn "how to do it," but it will always be there, and if you're at all like me, it will be both a challenge and a blessing. Hold onto the blessing part. Find a good partner, avoid settling for less, explore what life has to offer. Being gay is important, but it's not all of life.

    And very good luck to you!
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:22 PM GMT
    LionEyes saidWait, you're figuring out your attraction at 22? That's kinda late. I always knew I was different but admitted and accepted to myself I was gay at 10th or 11th grade, getting out of the closet by 18. Be gay it's something I don't even think about, is just part of me it's not really a big deal. I guess because you recently came out it's all new and exciting for you but for me that I'm 34 it's not more important than choose what I'm going to have for lunch.


    Guess I didn't word that very clearly. But I meant more of what I was attracted to in a man. Not that I was attracted to men. I already knew that.

    Understand what I'm trying to say now?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 08, 2014 5:23 PM GMT
    Being gay means everything. I picked my partner because I'm gay and our lives revolve around each other. I suppose if I were straight I'd have found a female partner but in my experience, straight marriages have a different dynamic, are more role oriented. So the way I live is very largely dictated by my being gay.
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    _Behemoth_ saidWhatever gramps..get naked already
    Rawr.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:41 PM GMT
    Unimportant when grocery shopping.

    Seems to come in handy when blowing a Dude to wake Him up on Sunday morning ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 5:58 PM GMT
    LionEyes said
    Cash saidUnimportant when grocery shopping.

    Seems to come in handy when blowing a Dude to wake Him up on Sunday morning ..


    I'm quite the opposite I'm quite gay when grocery shopping: is this shit Organic? Why is this so expensive? Why they don't carry almond flour?

    On Sundays I wake up alone because I never spend the night at the hookups icon_lol.gif Unless there's weather conditions that prevent me from leaving icon_lol.gif


    Wake up alone???

    That could be changed...

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif

    icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    Apr 08, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    its a part of who I am and not who I am, so its not important in the sense that it doesnt defines me in anyway (my personality and character does that)
  • SuntoryTime

    Posts: 656

    Apr 08, 2014 7:28 PM GMT
    It's important because of two things: how others perceive me because I'm gay and my relationship matters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 8:04 PM GMT
    Cash said
    LionEyes said
    Cash saidUnimportant when grocery shopping.

    Seems to come in handy when blowing a Dude to wake Him up on Sunday morning ..


    I'm quite the opposite I'm quite gay when grocery shopping: is this shit Organic? Why is this so expensive? Why they don't carry almond flour?

    On Sundays I wake up alone because I never spend the night at the hookups icon_lol.gif Unless there's weather conditions that prevent me from leaving icon_lol.gif


    Wake up alone???

    That could be changed...

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif

    icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

    Probably not for him. Judging from what I read on RJ, it seems almost no one spends the night these days with anyone but a boyfriend or lover. Instant sex has its place, but if that's the extent of sexual intiamacy, a lot of guys are a bit deprived.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Apr 08, 2014 8:24 PM GMT
    The -G- word?

    It fails to register on the scale of importance, but registers, fully, as insignificant.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 8:26 PM GMT
    I've had a few that were strictly sex but most of my fbudds eventually catch feelings or wanted to explore further than sex
  • post_gay

    Posts: 2

    Apr 08, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI'm not defined by my sexuality. It's just *part* of who I am. So it's neither important or unimportant. Some guys might consider that as lack of pride or whatever. But I don't care. icon_biggrin.gif


    Do you consider yourself post-gay? Someone who considers himself post-gay is out of the closet and cares about LGBT rights and issues. He respects and realizes the history of the struggle for GLBT equality.

    The term “post-gay” is a sensitive phrase for some members of the gay community. Those who object to the term more than likely believe it erases the achievements made by our predecessors, who fought for equality using the title of “gay.” However, this is not a true definition.

    I'm curious about everyone's input.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    Post-gay: The favorite self-description for people who think of Pride parades as quaint and embarrassing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:15 PM GMT
    Wait, is being "post-gay" a good thing or a bad thing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:18 PM GMT
    immunity said
    Xavier92 saidWait, is being "post-gay" a good thing or a bad thing?
    I think we're trying to figure that out.
    The guy with the username post_gay apparently thinks it's a good thing while the rest of us seem to associate it with elitism.

    I associate it with self-loathing. Oh, those bad gays, I'm past all that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:19 PM GMT
    immunity said
    Xavier92 saidWait, is being "post-gay" a good thing or a bad thing?
    I think we're trying to figure that out.
    The guy with the username post_gay apparently thinks it's a good thing while the rest of us seem to associate it with elitism.


    Well, I understand not wanting to be associated with mainstream gay culture and being butch. What I do hate is when those so called "post-gays" or "normal gays" start bashing the gay world as a whole and generalizing and some are even bigoted against the fem type too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:23 PM GMT
    Hmmm, now that you guys say that, I now realise that this site is filled with these "post-gays".
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:31 PM GMT
    LionEyes said
    HikerSkier said
    Cash said
    LionEyes said
    Cash saidUnimportant when grocery shopping.

    Seems to come in handy when blowing a Dude to wake Him up on Sunday morning ..


    I'm quite the opposite I'm quite gay when grocery shopping: is this shit Organic? Why is this so expensive? Why they don't carry almond flour?

    On Sundays I wake up alone because I never spend the night at the hookups icon_lol.gif Unless there's weather conditions that prevent me from leaving icon_lol.gif


    Wake up alone???

    That could be changed...

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif

    icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif

    Probably not for him. Judging from what I read on RJ, it seems almost no one spends the night these days with anyone but a boyfriend or lover. Instant sex has its place, but if that's the extent of sexual intiamacy, a lot of guys are a bit deprived.

    Sex nowadays it's a practical transaction, when it's done there's no reason to linger unless there's chemistry beyond coitus. I think, to some extent, it's a defense mechanism so you avoid having any type of feelings associated with cuddling, hugging and starting at that stranger for long. Sometimes, as a transaction that it is you're not necessarily attracted to the guy but what's between his legs and once you're satisfied there's nothing else there.

    The last bit has always been true of many interactions, - it seems that the quicky hook-up is much more the norm than in it was my days of whoring around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:34 PM GMT
    Post-gay? Is that like post-racism?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2014 9:36 PM GMT
    Neight saidPost-gay? Is that like post-racism?


    It's a word the politically correct elite hate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2014 1:00 AM GMT
    I can say that I have reached a place where I accept who I am. I am as much at peace with my sexuality...it isn't that important. I forget I am gay...whatever that means.

    My "gayness" is important when I read stories about bigotry in Russia and Uganda, stupid quotes from idiotic politicians or bible-thumpers, keeping up to date on marriage equality movements and feeling disappointed when marriages are put into limbo by appeals.