Guys who reply to you but don't keep conversation.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    Wy does this happen? I'll send someone a message either here or on other online sites to start conversation. These usually start with asking a question to trigger a response of "how about you?" or something similar. They respond, but it's a response that doesn't maintain the conversation; it's just a response to my question and nothing more. I try again and if the guy does the same, I just stop responding.

    Now, I know replying is a sign of being polite (as opposed to just ignoring you), but if you're responding to not maintain a conversation going...it just makes me wonder why they'd reply in the first place. Do they just have bad social skills? Are they being polite but not interested enough? Males are weird...
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Apr 10, 2014 9:18 PM GMT
    they are not interested duh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 9:19 PM GMT
    Yup, "polite but not interested enough" would be my interpretation. I've been on both sides of that dynamic. Doesn't seem to me like there's anything wrong with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Apr 10, 2014 9:21 PM GMT
    Men aren't talkative. They prefer action, sexy actions. Unless you are a geek which is what I am.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 10:50 PM GMT
    Members have often posted that they feel people are rude if they don't respond at all.
    It seems that you like someone, and he doesn't want to get together, he's rude no matter what he does. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 10:52 PM GMT
    What Alan said. Men are generally more interested in sex and someone they are attracted to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 10:57 PM GMT
    It happens to me all the Time..I think a guy is hot..he ignores me...some ugly mofo comes around tryin to talk to me..opens his pics..then Bam!! The original guy I thought was hot is all up on the ugly guyz nuts ...story of ma life
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 11:17 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidMembers have often posted that they feel people are rude if they don't respond at all.
    It seems that you like someone, and he doesn't want to get together, he's rude no matter what he does. icon_wink.gif


    Not true at all. If he offers a pity shag, he is not rude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2014 11:27 PM GMT
    _Behemoth_ saidsome ugly mofo comes around tryin to talk to me..


    That's me. What's good papi?icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2014 1:07 AM GMT
    LC92 saidWy does this happen? I'll send someone a message either here or on other online sites to start conversation.


    OP - Be truthful - are you sending messages to guys (on RJ or other gay sites) and trying to start conversations with guys that you find attractive, or is it because of some mutual interest? My guess is that it is usually the former. And if the attraction turns out not to be mutual, a polite way to indicate that is a brief response, and not to engage you further. I'll bet that if you were writing to people on a site devoted to astrophysics, and you were asking about an astrophysics subject, you could easily start an ongoing conversation.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 11, 2014 1:41 AM GMT
    Yeah, it happens to me too. It happens to us all (and I don't care how good looking a guy is, I'm sure it happens lol). I just don't put too much into it. Sure it sucks but what can you do? Just because that one guy did that to you, doesn't mean the next will. It's just ironic how you can find a guy who you find attractive online and it seems mutual but the guy lives like hundreds of miles away from you, now that can be depressing lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2014 4:20 AM GMT
    It's only weird when they message you first, then fail to keep conversation, only to restart the conversation after you ignore them, as has happened to me often back when I was single. I assumed it's the bottom's way of playing hard to get, so whatever
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    Polite enough to respond but not interested enough to keep the conversation going is my guess.

    I am guilty of this sometimes; guys get bitchy when you "lead them on", as apparently in their minds, having a cordial conversation with them means that you want to take them out to date and quickly move in and marry them. It's understandable to be at the point where you don't reply to anyone you aren't interested in, although I do try to make a solid effort to give a concise response to everyone out of respect.

    In the reverse, I'm the type of person that doesn't take much offense from people not responding or telling me that they're not interested in anything romantic; I'm 26, I understand that I will be rejected in life, I don't wet my pillow at night.

    Online is just a weird type of climate for striking up conversation with people. The context is totally different than striking up a conversation with someone at a bar, restaurant, gym, store, etc. I think no matter what, people are going to stick with what's convenient online as opposed to what actions would be more socially acceptable in person. If it's easier for them just to ignore you rather than explain themselves to you, they're probably going to do just that.

    hentailover saidIt's only weird when they message you first, then fail to keep conversation, only to restart the conversation after you ignore them...


    This is weird; I haven't figured this scenario out yet myself. They obviously have an ulterior motive other than innocent conversation is my guess.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Apr 11, 2014 6:10 PM GMT
    Yeah, I do it out of politeness as opposed to not replying at all. Sometimes I feel like you can never win with this kinda things. If you do reply but don't keep the conversation running, you'll be labeled as a cock teaser, while if you don't reply, people will call you rude. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    They're just being polite. I've done this in the past. It depends on what he wrote and his profile/what he's seeking. I also had guys fired back at me after I politely send back a not interested reply. Happened somewhere else, not here. But yeah, whatever, it's the internet.
  • kew1

    Posts: 1595

    Apr 12, 2014 8:20 AM GMT
    Why are they always from people in other countries who start with "hi handsome". Makes me suspicious , either bad eyesight or after something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2014 10:32 AM GMT
    Online conversation is a fuckin pain sometimes. Mainly because you can't see the body language or visual cues that indicate interest, or lack of. It's possible the guy is into you, but not a good conversationalist online.

    But yeah, I think it's generally safer to assume he's not interested if he writes you back with flat responses. Otherwise, he might decide to start a bitchy thread in the forums about why some guys can't take a hint and keep asking more questions. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2014 2:45 PM GMT
    Why are you ALWAYS over thinking everything?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2014 8:30 PM GMT
    Leave the poor boy be Dustin!

    I'll be going along with the chorus as I too have been on both sides of the messages.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2014 8:54 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidWhy are you ALWAYS over thinking everything?


    Because that's the frame of thinking of so many guys. Sad isn't it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    owl_bundy saidwell, i'm guilty of doing that shit. not because i'm not interested. i just don't know what to say.


    Same here. I sometimes just forget to answer. It's kind of hypocrite for me to state on my profile that I respond to all messages and then just forget. I'm working on it.

    Now if the profile is clearly fake and/or the message has a lack of interest and good taste then I plain ignore them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2014 4:14 AM GMT
    Rolfron said
    In the reverse, I'm the type of person that doesn't take much offense from people not responding or telling me that they're not interested in anything romantic; I'm 26, I understand that I will be rejected in life, I don't wet my pillow at night.


    That's how I am. But for one, I really don't bother messaging people that much anyway. Being a Black guy into interracial...I usually have to wait for them to come up to me. It always works better that way. The guys put more effort. I often have to wait for guys to contact me 1st anyway...so it always works out. Whereas if I hit guys up first, they could be some stormfront, racist ass mutha...Some black guys feel otherwise, that YOU have to make it happen because you're Black and intimidating (oh gosh, I'm turning this into a race card again).

    Anyway...I stopped worrying about guys not responding to me after a 1st message. What gets me, are the guys you met with 2-3 times and they don't respond back. I've yet to 100% figure that one out. You always wonder, what the hell were they thinking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2014 5:38 AM GMT
    i usually get involved in a project and forget to respond back. Typical everyone thinks it is all about them, they did something bad is the reason i took a few hours to get back to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2014 5:53 AM GMT
    pellaz saidi usually get involved in a project and forget to respond back. Typical everyone thinks it is all about them, they did something bad is the reason i took a few hours to get back to them.


    but do you actually open and read the message and not respond?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2014 1:02 AM GMT
    I personally prefer conversations with "substance," such as more than a simple response because I will not respond or directly state that "I don't see us furthering this conversation." I will not respond if the first initial message is "You're hot, cute, sexy, etc." or anything like that, I admittingly prefer a cordial conversation at first then we can go from there. Whether they are attractive or not (by my opinion). icon_smile.gif