Sexless relationship

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2014 5:57 PM GMT
    Let's say you have a good relationship. But sex just doesn't happen..how long do you wait before you either a.break it off and find someone New or b.get a fuck bud to fill in what your not gettin at home
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    Apr 11, 2014 5:58 PM GMT
    If it's a very good guy, I'll wait for him.
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    Apr 11, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    How long? Months? Years??
  • metta

    Posts: 39090

    Apr 11, 2014 6:01 PM GMT
    As long as the rest of the relationship was good...meaning that he is also emotionally available and loving, I would probably stay in it. I can take care of myself.
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    Apr 11, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    Find out why he doesn't want to have sex first.
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    Apr 11, 2014 6:08 PM GMT
    _Behemoth_ saidHow long? Months? Years??


    lol Definitely not years. Maybe a few months.
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    Apr 11, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    I do not think It's an issue of liking anyone,I'm actually surprised people are saying they could do a sexless relationship.It's not everything but it is an important part of being with someone. I mean if your not fucking you are pretty much friends
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    Apr 11, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    It's not a good relationship if it's contingent on sex. You can have a relationship that is beyond friendship even if it's not constantly sexual.
  • metta

    Posts: 39090

    Apr 11, 2014 6:56 PM GMT
    _Behemoth_ saidI do not think It's an issue of liking anyone,I'm actually surprised people are saying they could do a sexless relationship.It's not everything but it is an important part of being with someone. I mean if your not fucking you are pretty much friends


    I realize that I'm probably not typical. If I love and care about someone, I don't think that I would drop that person for that. There could be many reasons why someone would not want to have sex: could be related health issues, distance, etc. I don't believe that the purpose of a relationship is to fill my needs. I believe that I can fill my own needs and that a relationship can potentially add to my life. I take commitment seriously which is why I would not go into one lightly.
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    Apr 11, 2014 7:14 PM GMT
    When I asked this question most people said they wouldn't longer than a couple of weeks to a month lol.

    Personally I would prefer to wait a while before any sex anyways.
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    Apr 11, 2014 9:40 PM GMT
    Ehhh

    I would get bored and or frustrated - he'd have to be very good at video games.

    I can't say from personal experience... I'm sure it would end though.
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    Apr 11, 2014 9:44 PM GMT
    With my last ex I lost interest in sex with him about two years before I finally got rid of him. Both of our names were on the lease and he wouldn't leave. But I'd already had enough of his crazy.
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    Apr 11, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    Maybe its because you dont know anything about him, his life, and you got into a relationship very fast because you were scared you would be alone, he got into the same relationship thinking its what he needs, he grown on you and viceversa but things just ain't the same anymore...even if there are lots of people who say sex isn't important...its there for a reason...and yes maybe sex isnt important for some BECAUSE we have it with like everything that has a pulse, watch 10000 porn movies...it isnt a big deal not to have with your loved ones because you forget that its the most intimate act, that you will let someone inside your body and most important your mind and feel how 2 people become one.
    P.S. why the fuck would u post something like that here? icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 11, 2014 10:05 PM GMT
    I don't think I could survive without having some sort of physical intercourse affirm our relationship...Otherwise he's just your best friend.
  • AMoonHawk

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    Apr 11, 2014 10:10 PM GMT
    So basically what we are talking about here is a best friend, this is not necessarily a lover, partner, boyfriend, husband. If there is not any initiation made toward any intimacy, which let's face it sex is part of that intimacy, then it is time to clarify exactly what the relationship is. As you get older, sex is really not as important for some, so really it just depends on how much you care about each other and in what respect. I think every situation is going to be different, so I don't think it is possible to have one specific answer in any case, though people will undoubtedly attempt to answer with something solid. But given a real life situation, the answer given may not match the actions taken.
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    Apr 11, 2014 10:13 PM GMT
    Some people have different thresholds of "horniness," meaning how long it will take for them to have sex with a person. You could talk to them about it, and maybe make a compromise. I have never had a person who was less sexual than me, but I had a guy who wanted to have sex every night. Me being the bottom, it was kind of annoying since he went hard even though he wasn't that hung lol.
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    Apr 11, 2014 10:58 PM GMT
    In a good solid relationship the two will sit down and openly discuss each person's needs and desires and how they can agree to fulfill them. Every person is potentially different in what they deem appropriate for a relationship so an open nonjudgmental discussion is the best.

    As for the timeframe, I say it's when ever either of the party is feeling ready. Some might think that's after a day or two of no sex, another might feel a week or two or a month, other still may be content to take things into their own hands and might wait a year or never. There's no definitive answer to this question.

    Love includes so much more than just sex. Sure, sex can or may play a large part in a relationship for many or most but the absence of sex is not a killer for a relationship if the couple truly love each other and are able to communicate.

    How they resolve the issue of no sex is much the same as how they resolve the issues of finances, house work, vacations and family. They discuss it like two grown adults and find resolve/compromise between them.
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    Apr 12, 2014 3:19 AM GMT
    Well
    His name is on the mortgage and the good truck, so after exhausting all communication/therapy--9 months a year tops.
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    Apr 12, 2014 3:34 AM GMT
    eb925guy saidIn a good solid relationship the two will sit down and openly discuss each person's needs and desires and how they can agree to fulfill them. Every person is potentially different in what they deem appropriate for a relationship so an open nonjudgmental discussion is the best.

    As for the timeframe, I say it's when ever either of the party is feeling ready. Some might think that's after a day or two of no sex, another might feel a week or two or a month, other still may be content to take things into their own hands and might wait a year or never. There's no definitive answer to this question.

    Love includes so much more than just sex. Sure, sex can or may play a large part in a relationship for many or most but the absence of sex is not a killer for a relationship if the couple truly love each other and are able to communicate.

    How they resolve the issue of no sex is much the same as how they resolve the issues of finances, house work, vacations and family. They discuss it like two grown adults and find resolve/compromise between them.


    We have a winner!
    I really do not value sex that much, I'm a much more sensual and romantic person rather than sexual.
    So if he truly loves me, till death do us.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2014 9:30 AM GMT
    Does foreplay count? Because I can do with that for as long as it takes before actually fucking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2014 2:58 PM GMT
    My relationship.
    We've been together for over 6 months and we only had j/o session about 5 times. It's not so bad. Because I know that sex does not happen more frequently due to many reasons: place, time, life events, etc.
    I still fancy my bf every day and I will wait. He's just worth the wait.
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    Apr 12, 2014 3:43 PM GMT
    Interesting opinions here
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    Apr 12, 2014 3:56 PM GMT
    jocktrainee saidMy relationship.
    We've been together for over 6 months and we only had j/o session about 5 times. It's not so bad. Because I know that sex does not happen more frequently due to many reasons: place, time, life events, etc.
    I still fancy my bf every day and I will wait. He's just worth the wait.


    Wow your clearly a really good guy who can show self restraint. I've been with guys who act like complete dicks if you don't have sex with them by the second or third date and will literally try and force or bullshit their way into bed icon_sad.gif

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    Apr 12, 2014 4:00 PM GMT
    The longest time for me was 9months with little to no sex . Was not easy at all. Some people try to use sex as a weapon in a relationship men and women..It's a sense of being controlling and emotional abuse to your partner
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    Apr 12, 2014 6:10 PM GMT
    The question is this: why isn't the sex happening? I'm in my 20s; I raise an eyebrow when guys my age don't want to have sex. I'm not saying that everyone this age should be wanting to shag every night (not that I'd be opposed to it icon_biggrin.gif) but if some amount of sexual intimacy isn't happening or is brushed aside, I start to wonder.

    It's circumstantial. If he had to have some sort of surgical operation, in which he couldn't physically have sex for a few months or longer, I'd be alright with that. If he were in the military or had to be out of country for some time, I'd be alright with that. If it's just because he doesn't want to... I would be concerned.