propriety regarding fitness.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 7:17 AM GMT
    I'm not one to put anyone down because if their size, but I came across a forum post on another site called "What do you hate most about being fat?"

    I was interested to read the replys so I entered and was deluged with post after post of:

    I hate that my knees hurt all the time.

    I hate not being able to find clothes that fit.

    I hate that being fat keeps me from dancing.

    I hate that people laugh, whisper and assume that I am laz-y (one person even referred to it as the Stigma of Laziness.

    I hate having to balance being healthy with being big.


    I was concerned by this; noone copped to being big. Noone said "I hate that I let myself get this way."

    "I hate how being fat makes me feel." "I hate that being fat interferes with my life."

    Well, Godzilla that I am, I left a comment of my own.

    Oh, I get it! Being FAT is like prison: everyone is innocent. Who's going to cop to it? Who is lazy and who is unhealthy because of their weight?

    I felt like a weight had been lifted. I had represented the other side: the people who take care of themselves and watch their diets, the people who work tirelessly in the gym just to get their glutes to curve right, and the people large people just assume we have issue with them, when more often than not, we are not staring, whispering, or laughing at them.

    I turned off the computer and got ready for bed and then I logged back on and deleted that horrible post.icon_exclaim.gif

    I knew it would fall on death ears, start a flame war, and hurt a lot of feelings.
    Flame warrior with a heart, that's me.

    I have a soft spot for large people; I know what it feels like to reach out to something if you feel really awful and low about yourself. For some that something is food and things get out of hand. When I get out of school I want to help obese people. I know that scolding and embarrassment don't teach anything so that is another reason I deleted that thing.

    THIS IS NOT A FAT BASHING THREAD, I just want to know if I was wrong to write the post or right to delete it; what could I have written to express my angst and concern without being rude? Use clear concise commentary to back up your opinion on yes or no, thanks dawlings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 8:31 AM GMT
    I don't know what you could have written. The medical profession and the diet industry have both tried for many years to "help" people lose weight and also explain how humans become obese but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 9:04 AM GMT
    Many people are into self deceit and refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Or maybe they are not in touch with themselves and thus oblivious to the fact that their actions are at the base of the "problem". They hate the effects but will refuse to take responsibility...I apologize for being too obvious ;). A CLUE? NO...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 10:02 AM GMT
    I think it was wrong for you to generalize them but it was a forum so if that's how you really felt then whatever. It is very possible that some of those over weight people have a health or psychologic issue that block them from higher levels of fitness.

    I feel like I'm in great shape but even to this day I still find myself feeling ashamed of my body in the gym when I'm around guys who are more cut then me. Even though I can bench 345, squat 455, and deadlift 495... If a dude lifts up his shirt and flexes six pack in the gym feelings of shame swell in me. I've invested countless hours and thousands of dollars into my fitness yet I'm not ripped. I don't have a six pack. All I have is strength...

    I remember when I first started out the weight room was a very intimidating place for me. I wasn't a morbidly obese 18yo but I had man boobs a big ol tire and really low self-esteem. For people who are truly over weight and don't have any real reason to get in better shape I can see why they might be turned off by the thought of exercise. Improved health is not really that compelling a reason to start working out. If it nobody would drink or smoke. We would all eat right and exercise regularly.

    Don't feel bad for what you wrote. You were being honest. Brutal... But honest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 10:40 AM GMT
    There are going to be fat gay people all over the world now sitting in the dark corners of their bedroom with scissors making themselves skinny.

    everyone is going to get "cut"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 11:05 AM GMT
    I suppose that if there is a topic entitled "what do you hate about being fat" the idea that the respondents actually are fat is implied. It doesn't seem that people who are in denial about being overweight would take the time and trouble to post about bad knees, no dancing, etc.

    Those of us who have lifelong struggles with weight may not see overweight as an event with really clear causes. More likely, we are caught in a syndrome with peaks and valleys that role on over years and even decades. After awhile the causes get fuzzy and the focus gets to be the symptoms.

    Too there are competing social messages that people of all shapes get from the culture. There is just as much information out there that says "accept yourself and love yourself as you are" as there is that says "take responsibility and mend your own fences".

    Specifically, I don't think you were wrong to post and you certainly weren't wrong to delete it. That your impulse to be kind exceeds your drive to tell the truth is what makes you who you are, and it is what separates you from people like, oh, Chucky.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2008 1:33 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear saidWell, Godzilla that I am, I left a comment of my own.

    Oh, I get it! Being FAT is like prison: everyone is innocent. Who's going to cop to it? Who is lazy and who is unhealthy because of their weight?


    I'm not to blame for my own weight gain. I'm forced to take meds that slow my metabolism as a side effect, my testosterone level is way down, my arthritis prevents a vigorous exercise program, and I'm simply getting old as I enter my 60s. I eat very light & smart, no fast foods, no junk, no sugar drinks, stay as active as I can, and I still gain weight.

    BUT, I take responsibility for my weight, because it's still my own problem, whether it's my personal fault or not. What if my body should get a cold or an infection for which I'm blameless -- do I let it kill me while I refuse to do anything about it, because the condition wasn't my fault? Just lie there dying, moaning about what an innocent victim I am? Of course not! You fight it.

    So yeah, I've gotten way too fat in the last 18 months, and I know the medical reasons, and they aren't my fault, and I've got an uphill battle, but I still gotta do something about it. And I am, having joined a gym again, riding the bike a lot (a challenge for me), monitoring my weight daily on a new home scale, reevaluating my diet once more, and getting my doctor involved with the strictly medical & medication issues.

    The only criticism I have of the OP comment above is that it takes a black & white view of the overweight problem. Not everyone is the villain behind their own obesity.

    Some people truly are innocent of their weight problem. But as with my case, I don't think that absolves them of the responsibility to do something about it, instead letting it get out of control until it negatively impacts and even shortens their lives. And I know that many do actively fight their problem, whatever its cause.

    On the other side of the coin are those who really are to blame, and who use the legitimate medical reasons of others, to falsely excuse their own self-indulgent weight problem. Some of the very causes I listed above for myself are claimed by some who have none of those problems, just a lack of self-control and will power. I'm sure that's the group you were targeting with your comment.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 30, 2008 1:48 PM GMT
    Maybe instead of posting what you did, you should have posted what you've said here - "I hate that I let myself get this way." "I hate how being fat makes me feel." "I hate that being fat interferes with my life."
  • Sayrnas

    Posts: 847

    Dec 30, 2008 3:33 PM GMT
    Maybe "fat" is a state of mind?