Is he into me?

  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Apr 14, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    Hey I know several people have done this before but I need advice...

    I met this guy last year on grindr. We both go to the same school, and were both in the same major. We never hooked up and still haven't, it all started last year when we met for he first time and I immediately saw qualities that I was attracted to in him. He was smart, funny, and pretty much had his life together, he was 25 and I was 18 when I met him last year, he was recently out of a long relationship and just looking to get to know some people. So every Tuesday and Thursday before one of our classes we would hangout for a few hours. Then we started going out to eat, and we hung out more often. So I told him one day that he should come and spend the night with me. He did and we just laid there and talked and he held me tight. Nothing sexual happened and I didn't even kiss him, though I wanted to. I've never slept as well as I did that night. The next morning when it was time for class he picked me up and hugged me. After the semester was over we didnt keep in close contact over the summer because I didn't think I was coming back. But I did and when I moved back up we made contact. He got back with his boyfriend, who cheated on him 7 times, each with a different guy. But we still constantly hang out, we go out to eat and he almost always pays for me. We're both aviation majors so we fly to lunch almost every weekend. I was really tired on our last trip so I got in the back and took a nap. And he told me to use his jacket as a blanket.

    He just got engaged to his bf, but told me that he will never marry him, and that he and his bfs agreement is that the bf will pay rent and he will buy groceries and pay utilities. He constantly tells me that his bf is annoying him and that he can't deal with him anymore. We just hung out today and ate lunch, then went back to his apartment and took a nap together.

    I just need some advise on what to do.
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Apr 14, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    Advice, he's batshit insane. And you have no place in between him and his "fiancee". it won't end well for anyone. Move on.
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    Apr 14, 2014 3:54 AM GMT
    I've been with a married man and a man with a bf. It never ends well being the third wheel so stop doing what you're doing.
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Apr 14, 2014 3:57 AM GMT
    Nothing sexual happens, and when I say we took a nap together we were both on the couch, not cuddling
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    Apr 14, 2014 3:59 AM GMT
    A guy should be single for at least 6 months before you consider seriously getting involved with him. This guy is not even single. Move on.
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    Apr 14, 2014 4:01 AM GMT
    isuflyboy saidNothing sexual happens, and when I say we took a nap together we were both on the couch, not cuddling


    What you're doing is trying to be his boy friend but he has one.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 14, 2014 5:27 AM GMT
    HamsterCheeks said
    isuflyboy saidNothing sexual happens, and when I say we took a nap together we were both on the couch, not cuddling
    What you're doing is trying to be his boy friend but he has one.
    ^^ If the two of you want to be BFs, he has to separate from the other guy.
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    Apr 14, 2014 5:33 AM GMT
    be the generous gay man and be his friend for a while. If he needs a friend.

    Hang in there an you might be lucky, than again maybe not.
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    Apr 14, 2014 6:34 AM GMT
    RJ Rule no. 271: If you have to ask "is he into me?" the answer is always "no".
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    Apr 14, 2014 6:37 AM GMT
    Sharkadelic saidRJ Rule no. 271: If you have to ask "is he into me?" the answer is always "no".


    That's good advice.icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 14, 2014 7:29 AM GMT
    Uhhh... He won't pay rent.....

    Sounds safe... Avoid.
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Apr 14, 2014 10:17 AM GMT
    Snaz saidUhhh... He won't pay rent.....

    Sounds safe... Avoid.


    He doesn't pay the rent because he has two car payments. Which he told me totaled up to $2k this month. When they go out to eat the bf doesn't have an money so he has to buy everything else.
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    Apr 14, 2014 11:38 AM GMT
    pellaz saidbe the generous gay man and be his friend for a while. If he needs a friend.

    Hang in there an you might be lucky, than again maybe not.



    This
    And just be his friend now until he breaks up with bf dont take advantage of situation if he likes you now he will like you later.
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    Apr 14, 2014 11:55 AM GMT
    isuflyboy said
    Snaz saidUhhh... He won't pay rent.....

    Sounds safe... Avoid.


    He doesn't pay the rent because he has two car payments. Which he told me totaled up to $2k this month. When they go out to eat the bf doesn't have an money so he has to buy everything else.

    Two car payments totaling $2K? As a college student?
    His judgment as well as his love life seem open to question.
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    Apr 14, 2014 2:03 PM GMT
    Do you want to be his boyfriend and have him only for yourself? Or do you just want to be around him and spend time together?

    and +1 for the post above
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    Apr 14, 2014 2:20 PM GMT
    You shouldn't be having anything to do with him, and he shouldn't be having anything to do with you; because you have both crossed lines already. Frankly, the whole: "You and him slept on the couch together or whatever, and nothing happened"...is just sooooooooooo High School Crap!

    If you have any feelings for him that are not of a friendly nature, then you should be keeping your distance, because the dude is taken! And, him complaining to you about his fiance being annoying, is also ridiculous! If he has problems and issues with his fiance, then he should be discussing things with his fiance; and not you! For the simple reason....You want him, and he probably wants you as well; and if I were his fiance, I would tear you and him to shreds for being god damn sneaky and shifty!



    mizu5 saidAdvice, he's batshit insane. And you have no place in between him and his "fiancee". it won't end well for anyone. Move on.


    EXACTLY RIGHT.
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    Apr 14, 2014 2:22 PM GMT
    It sounds like this guy wants his bread buttered on both sides, having an obviously physical ( read: nymphomaniac) and financially stable relationship with the other guy and is using you to fill the emotional, intellectual void. You're reading way to much into this, put it this way if something was going to happen and he wanted it to happen, he'd make it happen.

    Plus this guy's judgement sounds just a bit off. Engaged to the annoying boyfriend who cheated on him 7 too many times. Ditch this nutcase .
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    Apr 14, 2014 3:31 PM GMT
    Lol what's up with all these grindr bf posts lately? Lol, he's not a good catch, reading your post. He probably has self-esteem issues, who stay with someone cheated on them 7 times? What you're doing now is trying to break them up. It's his deal if he wants to be financially stable with his bf. Just back off and find someone else new, better.
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Apr 14, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    isuflyboy said
    Snaz saidUhhh... He won't pay rent.....

    Sounds safe... Avoid.


    He doesn't pay the rent because he has two car payments. Which he told me totaled up to $2k this month. When they go out to eat the bf doesn't have an money so he has to buy everything else.

    Two car payments totaling $2K? As a college student?
    His judgment as well as his love life seem open to question.


    He was a manager at Walmart for a long time and made good money. He recently took a pay cut when he started flight instructing.

    And he's the one who paid rent for their last apartment
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    Apr 14, 2014 4:50 PM GMT


    He just got engaged, isuflyboy...why?
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Apr 14, 2014 4:55 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    He just got engaged, isuflyboy...why?


    Because he's one of the few men, that I've actually met that was nice to me and didnt want to use me for sex. And I also have a connection with him I haven't had with anyone else
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Apr 14, 2014 5:05 PM GMT
    $2,000 per month for a car payment. What kind of car? Bentley? The whole thing sounds like bull**** to me.
  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Apr 14, 2014 5:17 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said$2,000 per month for a car payment. What kind of car? Bentley? The whole thing sounds like bull**** to me.


    He has a new silverado and a new camaro 2 SS RS
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    Apr 14, 2014 5:36 PM GMT
    isuflyboy said
    meninlove said

    He just got engaged, isuflyboy...why?


    Because he's one of the few men, that I've actually met that was nice to me and didnt want to use me for sex. And I also have a connection with him I haven't had with anyone else

    Keep him as a friend if you want. But turn your romantic visions somewhere else. You're only 19 - you have many years ahead of you for real relationships with guys that are really into you.
  • Kjonyou

    Posts: 93

    Apr 15, 2014 8:22 AM GMT
    isuflyboy said
    Destinharbor said$2,000 per month for a car payment. What kind of car? Bentley? The whole thing sounds like bull**** to me.


    He has a new silverado and a new camaro 2 SS RS


    Both of those are like 25,000 - 30,000 each. Even if he had really bad credit, his monthly would be way less then 2,000. Actually less then 1,000. Probably closer to 600 - 800.

    He is not telling you the truth if he said 2,000 a month for two lower priced cars like that.