How to not Love

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    Apr 18, 2014 5:14 AM GMT
    I fell in love once and hated it, I never want to do it again, is there any sort of mental conditioning, or some neurological alternating substances I can take. Nothing can be worse than falling in love with another person.

    Please, no jokes.
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:17 AM GMT
    Just be fair and honest with yourself and you will see that nobody is perfect and treat yourself with respect

    Love is based on illusion just like any emotion
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:19 AM GMT
    Read about the chemical foundation of love.

    Treat self accordingly.
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:19 AM GMT
    Huh? icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    I highly doubt it. I tried to find out myself because of my lack of any romantic fulfillment came up short.

    There's a way to deal with these problems and as inexperienced as I may be, simply hitting the off switch (if there is one) will not do anything.

    That much I know.
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:28 AM GMT
    You don't get to choose to fall in love. But you do get to develop the wisdom to know the difference between love and lust.

    What you can do is deny people getting that close. But it's a quiet road to travel one that you won't travel for very long.
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:41 AM GMT
    Xavier92 saidHuh? icon_confused.gif


    The science of it, physiology?
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:46 AM GMT
    lilTankerYou don't get to choose to fall in love. But you do get to develop the wisdom to know the difference between love and lust.

    What you can do is deny people getting that close. But it's a quiet road to travel one that you won't travel for very long.


    Thanks for your advice, but I learned the differences between love and lust very well. I don't see a possibility of anyone desiring me in a romantic sort of way. The world has shown more signs telling me that I will be alone forever.

    bonapart01Love is based on illusion just like any emotion


    I'm going to look into this
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    Apr 18, 2014 5:50 AM GMT
    I was in a abusive relationship, just fell in love with a complete violent psycho/manipulator when I moved to another city to study from my home town, who was almost prisoned for violently abusing old people, got away because his father was a cop, that guy was a bad person, at first he pretended to be the nicest guy ever, then he started to talk and do bad things behind my back, then in front of me, then there was physical abuse, guy was a local champion in kick boxing, funny thing is I always tried to see the good in him and was living in a illusion that he can be good, he stalked me, terrorised me and it was going on for years, it was non sexual, just a person I studied together in university and couldn't get away from.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 18, 2014 5:56 AM GMT
    Armiger saidI fell in love once and hated it, I never want to do it again, is there any sort of mental conditioning, or some neurological alternating substances I can take. Nothing can be worse than falling in love with another person.

    Please, no jokes.

    I take it your love is unrequited? Even secret, perhaps? Or is it worse than that, totally fucked up?

    I have loved and I have lost--literally--as in dead, lost--and even as in insane, lost--and I *would* do it all over again. You can not know the depth of what it means to be a human being if you DO NOT fEEL all of it. Must I name them, these depths, for you to even contemplate what they might be?

    Ok so you have a broken heart. Congratulations! Welcome to the human race! Now, give yourself a little time to mope around and be all dark, hopeless and dreary, and then just get the fuck over it. Shit happens. You not special.

    Oh, yeah, of course you can become an alcoholic or drug addict or commit suicide very, very slowly, and painfully, if you are into that sort of thing. I don't recommend it though. Maybe a couple grams of dried psilocybe cubensis blended up with papaya juice or something. That'll get your mind off your problems for a few hours. But other than that, ehh.
  • MikeW

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    Apr 18, 2014 6:06 AM GMT
    bonapart01 saidI was in a abusive relationship, just fell in love with a complete violent psycho/manipulator when I moved to another city to study from my home town, who was almost prisoned for violently abusing old people, got away because his father was a cop, that guy was a bad person, at first he pretended to be the nicest guy ever, then he started to talk and do bad things behind my back, then in front of me, then there was physical abuse, guy was a local champion in kick boxing, funny thing is I always tried to see the good in him and was living in a illusion that he can be good, he stalked me, terrorised me and it was going on for years, it was non sexual, just a person I studied together in university and couldn't get away from.

    I'm very sorry to hear that. My experience with that sort of thing is it makes me not trust myself. Its like, wow, if I can fall in love with someone that fucked up, what does that say ABOUT ME? About how fucked up I am? How can I ever trust myself to not do it again--because, at the time, it felt so VERY VERY real?

    And so I can see how you come to the conclusion that love is an illusion. You're not "wrong" about that but I think there's more to it. Yes, love is a kind of madness, no doubt about it, but so is beauty and freedom and joy.

    220px-RWS_Tarot_00_Fool.jpg
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    Apr 18, 2014 6:18 AM GMT
    bonapart01I was in a abusive relationship, just fell in love with a complete violent psycho/manipulator when I moved to another city to study from my home town, who was almost prisoned for violently abusing old people, got away because his father was a cop, that guy was a bad person, at first he pretended to be the nicest guy ever, then he started to talk and do bad things behind my back, then in front of me, then there was physical abuse, guy was a local champion in kick boxing, funny thing is I always tried to see the good in him and was living in a illusion that he can be good, he stalked me, terrorised me and it was going on for years, it was non sexual, just a person I studied together in university and couldn't get away from.


    I'm sorry you went through such a thing, but I'm glad that you came out fine and I wish you well. That's another reason I'm fearing love, if they seem good at 1st then their true colors that come out are ugly.

    MikeWI take it your love is unrequited? Even secret, perhaps? Or is it worse than that, totally fucked up?

    I have loved and I have lost--literally--as in dead, lost--and even as in insane, lost--and I *would* do it all over again. You can not know the depth of what it means to be a human being if you DO NOT fEEL all of it. Must I name them, these depths, for you to even contemplate what they might be?

    Ok so you have a broken heart. Congratulations! Welcome to the human race! Now, give yourself a little time to mope around and be all dark, hopeless and dreary, and then just get the fuck over it. Shit happens. You not special.

    Oh, yeah, of course you can become an alcoholic or drug addict or commit suicide very, very slowly, and painfully, if you are into that sort of thing. I don't recommend it though. Maybe a couple grams of dried psilocybe cubensis blended up with papaya juice or something. That'll get your mind off your problems for a few hours. But other than that, ehh.


    I'd say my love is to just being the best friend that I can be that will have a deep, unbreakable, and complex emotional and sexual bond. I never had a love to love period just denial, not even a single interest that's why it all seems pointless (possibly is an illusion when you think real deep about it) lol eat a bunch of food like Akira Yuki, icon_smile.gif thanks that's a good idea to cheer someone up XD
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    Apr 18, 2014 6:19 AM GMT
    Armiger said
    bonapart01I was in a abusive relationship, just fell in love with a complete violent psycho/manipulator when I moved to another city to study from my home town, who was almost prisoned for violently abusing old people, got away because his father was a cop, that guy was a bad person, at first he pretended to be the nicest guy ever, then he started to talk and do bad things behind my back, then in front of me, then there was physical abuse, guy was a local champion in kick boxing, funny thing is I always tried to see the good in him and was living in a illusion that he can be good, he stalked me, terrorised me and it was going on for years, it was non sexual, just a person I studied together in university and couldn't get away from.


    I'm sorry you went through such a thing, but I'm glad that you came out fine and I wish you well. That's another reason I'm fearing love, if they seem good at 1st then their true colors that come out are ugly.

    MikeWI take it your love is unrequited? Even secret, perhaps? Or is it worse than that, totally fucked up?

    I have loved and I have lost--literally--as in dead, lost--and even as in insane, lost--and I *would* do it all over again. You can not know the depth of what it means to be a human being if you DO NOT fEEL all of it. Must I name them, these depths, for you to even contemplate what they might be?

    Ok so you have a broken heart. Congratulations! Welcome to the human race! Now, give yourself a little time to mope around and be all dark, hopeless and dreary, and then just get the fuck over it. Shit happens. You not special.

    Oh, yeah, of course you can become an alcoholic or drug addict or commit suicide very, very slowly, and painfully, if you are into that sort of thing. I don't recommend it though. Maybe a couple grams of dried psilocybe cubensis blended up with papaya juice or something. That'll get your mind off your problems for a few hours. But other than that, ehh.


    I'd say my love is to just being the best friend that I can be that will have a deep, unbreakable, and complex emotional and sexual bond. I never had a love to love period just denial, not even a single interest that's why it all seems pointless (possibly is an illusion when you think real deep about it) lol eat a bunch of food like Akira Yuki, icon_smile.gif thanks that's a good idea to cheer someone up XD
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    Apr 18, 2014 6:22 AM GMT
    Now my computer's acting a fool, sorry if the post don't look right.icon_neutral.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 18, 2014 6:25 AM GMT
    Armiger saidNow my computer's acting a fool, sorry if the post don't look right.icon_neutral.gif
    It was my fault, sorry. Forgot the closing > on my image tag and that threw all the HTML off. It should be fine now. Except you have a double post for some reason LOL
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    Apr 18, 2014 6:27 AM GMT
    MikeW said
    bonapart01 saidI was in a abusive relationship, just fell in love with a complete violent psycho/manipulator when I moved to another city to study from my home town, who was almost prisoned for violently abusing old people, got away because his father was a cop, that guy was a bad person, at first he pretended to be the nicest guy ever, then he started to talk and do bad things behind my back, then in front of me, then there was physical abuse, guy was a local champion in kick boxing, funny thing is I always tried to see the good in him and was living in a illusion that he can be good, he stalked me, terrorised me and it was going on for years, it was non sexual, just a person I studied together in university and couldn't get away from.

    I'm very sorry to hear that. My experience with that sort of thing is it makes me not trust myself. Its like, wow, if I can fall in love with someone that fucked up, what does that say ABOUT ME? About how fucked up I am? How can I ever trust myself to not do it again--because, at the time, it felt so VERY VERY real?

    And so I can see how you come to the conclusion that love is an illusion. You're not "wrong" about that but I think there's more to it. Yes, love is a kind of madness, no doubt about it, but so is beauty and freedom and joy.

    220px-RWS_Tarot_00_Fool.jpg


    did you seriously call me a fool?
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    Apr 18, 2014 7:00 AM GMT
    bonapart01 saidI was in a abusive relationship, just fell in love with a complete violent psycho/manipulator when I moved to another city to study from my home town, who was almost prisoned for violently abusing old people, got away because his father was a cop, that guy was a bad person, at first he pretended to be the nicest guy ever, then he started to talk and do bad things behind my back, then in front of me, then there was physical abuse, guy was a local champion in kick boxing, funny thing is I always tried to see the good in him and was living in a illusion that he can be good, he stalked me, terrorised me and it was going on for years, it was non sexual, just a person I studied together in university and couldn't get away from.


    You're worth more than so don't let it put you off love icon_smile.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 18, 2014 7:07 AM GMT
    bonapart01 said
    MikeW said220px-RWS_Tarot_00_Fool.jpg


    did you seriously call me a fool?
    Jeebus...
    Did you seriously not read a fucking thing I wrote, or did you just not understand it?

    No, I wasn't calling you a fool, I'm saying that love, beauty, freedom, all that stuff is foolishness -- DIVINE foolishness.

    THE FOOL Tarot card exemplifies this… the wandering page with his knap sack totally oblivious to his little fury companion frantically trying to warn him he's about to step off the cliff into oblivion… A "what, me worry?" attitude. And the wonder is, he is right! I identify with THE FOOL very much, as well as these two.. and I'll let you contemplate what they mean:

    220px-RWS_Tarot_16_Tower.jpg

    RWS_Tarot_12_Hanged_Man.jpg

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    Apr 18, 2014 10:58 AM GMT
    people think that their happiness is always in someone's hands, It's not, it's a choice you make.