Gay vs heterosexual guys when forming a relationship

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2014 6:40 PM GMT
    Ok, I am not talking about sex here obviously, but do you think that it is easier to build a stable and solid relationship friendship wise with a hetero person than with a gay person? Do you think sexuality get's in a way when creating an emotional and spiritual bond with someone ? That sexuality often is not a helping factor, but an obstacle?

    and because of that there are many gays that fall in love with hetero guys, because they have a true, real relationship
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 22, 2014 6:43 PM GMT
    bonapart01 saidOk, I am not talking about sex here obviously, but do you think that it is easier to build a stable and solid relationship friendship wise with a hetero person than with a gay person? Do you think sexuality get's in a way when creating an emotional and spiritual bond with someone ? That sexuality often is not a helping factor, but an obstacle?
    I have both straight and gay male friends. Can sexuality get in the way? Yes, of course it can. So can a lot of things. But I learned long ago not to 'lust' or 'fantasize' about men who weren't available to me. That is what gets in the way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2014 6:49 PM GMT
    Hetero guys are no different. What's your point?
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    Apr 22, 2014 7:02 PM GMT
    are you talking about a primarily gay man, not Bi, seeking friendship with another gay man.



    friends with another gay man is difficult for me and I dont think my husband would feel all that comfortable either. He and I each come with skills to make for a fairly functional household. I know his abilities and dont need a second opinion.

    and why would I:
    -gays in the population is like 3-5% so unlikely to find a gay male friend unless you or him are actively looking for this. If not for sex and or a relationship why would you do this? gay or straight same thing

    -a hag girl friend solves lots of issues and is a more symmetric give and take relationship.

    -I can fix my own emotional problems. A friend for me at least at some point offered some skill or knowledge or service that i didnt have. Are they good to go on a Honda suspension project? Can they make a real estate 1031 exchange happen?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Apr 22, 2014 7:20 PM GMT
    Sex doesn't have to be an obstacle preventing you from living your life and having relationships. It's silly to think that two guys have to have sex just because they're both gay, or as if sex is an end to a relationship. To me it just sounds like the drama of single life, and to say gay men are higher drama is really just a stereotype. Straight people have broken friendships, messy affairs and divorces, often dragging children into it. It's hard for me to believe that a little sexual tension in the gay community is any more difficult to deal with than in the hetero world. I can barely fathom having to placate a woman with constant strength, cash flow and chivalry. Yikes! In many ways, we're the lucky ones.