Has the way people communicate changed?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:17 AM GMT
    I'm so used to chatting for a while before agreeing to meet someone. But it seems like guys lose interest so fast. DoI need to speed things up? I just can't imagine that no one wants to establish some sort of common interests before starting anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:21 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidthey prolly aren't interested. *shrugs*


    I guess, these are people who initiate conversations though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:21 AM GMT
    I'm sure it's different for everyone. But I have very little tolerance for endless chats/emails. After 4 or 5 messages, we have to meet and continue the conversation in person. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:22 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]xrichx said[/cite]I'm sure it's different for everyone. But I have very little tolerance for endless chats/emails. After 4 or 5 messages, we have to meet and continue the conversation in person. icon_biggrin.gif[/quote

    Seriously???
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Apr 23, 2014 3:26 AM GMT
    I chat with about 23 RJers on WhatsApp... I think we impact the forum posts significantly.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:27 AM GMT
    mikeyslc saidSeriously???

    Yes! icon_biggrin.gif
    But just because we're meeting doesn't mean we're gonna hop in the sack or give each other matching bracelets. It's just a continuation of the conversation, but taken offline and in person. Much faster than going back and forth on emails.

    Unless you're trying to get with someone far away. That's a different story.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:29 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    mikeyslc saidSeriously???

    Yes! icon_biggrin.gif
    But just because we're meeting doesn't mean we're gonna hop in the sack or give each other matching bracelets. It's just a continuation of the conversation, but taken offline and in person. Much faster than going back and forth on emails.

    Unless you're trying to get with someone far away. That's a different story.


    Wow,well when I dated before I usually tried to get a sense of who the person was before we met. Goals interests, but all ive ran into lately are people who fall off the radar or are only interested in nsa sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:37 AM GMT
    xrichx saidYes! icon_biggrin.gif
    But just because we're meeting doesn't mean we're gonna hop in the sack or give each other matching bracelets. It's just a continuation of the conversation, but taken offline and in person. Much faster than going back and forth on emails.

    I totally disagree. I think having a conversation, regardless of how long, allows both parties to get to know each other. Sure, eventually meeting is nice but there's no shame in getting to know someone.

    The idea that a person needs to cut there emails/chats and meet is crazy. Too many guys need to slow down and get to know the other person before they jump right to romance, making out and hopping into the sack.

    To the OP: If they're not interested in getting to know you, online and/or offline, then they're probably not someone you'd really be interested in the long run.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:37 AM GMT
    mikeyslc said
    xrichx said
    mikeyslc saidSeriously???

    Yes! icon_biggrin.gif
    But just because we're meeting doesn't mean we're gonna hop in the sack or give each other matching bracelets. It's just a continuation of the conversation, but taken offline and in person. Much faster than going back and forth on emails.

    Unless you're trying to get with someone far away. That's a different story.


    Wow,well when I dated before I usually tried to get a sense of who the person was before we met. Goals interests, but all ive ran into lately are people who fall off the radar or are only interested in nsa sex.

    The first meeting won't be a date. It's just a "getting to know you" meeting. Just some time to ask the right questions to see if there's potential for something more. It's also the crazy test. After chatting for a few minutes, you'll know whether or not they're axe murderers and such. icon_lol.gif

    If all goes well, then you can schedule an actual date where you can ask more in depth questions.

    But yeah, everyone has a different perspective/technique for dating or for finding new friends.

    If your current method isn't working too well, then maybe it's time to try something different.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:40 AM GMT
    eb925guy said
    xrichx saidYes! icon_biggrin.gif
    But just because we're meeting doesn't mean we're gonna hop in the sack or give each other matching bracelets. It's just a continuation of the conversation, but taken offline and in person. Much faster than going back and forth on emails.

    I totally disagree. I think having a conversation, regardless of how long, allows both parties to get to know each other. Sure, eventually meeting is nice but there's no shame in getting to know someone.

    The idea that a person needs to cut there emails/chats and meet is crazy. Too many guys need to slow down and get to know the other person before they jump right to romance, making out and hopping into the sack.

    To the OP: If they're not interested in getting to know you, online and/or offline, then they're probably not someone you'd really be interested in the long run.

    Yeah, but OP has posted numerous threads in the past on the same topic. It sounds like he's boring his potential suitors with endless emails. I think it's time for him to switch up his game.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    fuckoff said
    eb925guy saidToo many guys need to slow down and get to know the other person before they jump right to romance, making out and hopping into the sack.
    Meeting somebody in person doesn't necessarily mean you're going to fuck. icon_neutral.gif

    I know, right? Plus, in person you get a better gauge of their interest. Eye contact, body language, etc. With emails/chats, it's all just text without emotions. You might as well fill out a dating survey form.

    Also, consider the rampant rise of catfish/fake profiles online. Why invest all that time/energy over emails, later to find out the person was a fraud months later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:26 AM GMT
    I'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:31 AM GMT
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.

    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:34 AM GMT
    ElectroShark said
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.

    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.


    I've done this before too. Not 20 years ago though..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:37 AM GMT
    internet-lies674-internet-lol-demotivati

    ^^ Need eye contact and body language guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:45 AM GMT
    ElectroShark said
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.

    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.


    Note the number of Missing Persons reports filed 20 years ago...

    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 23, 2014 4:48 AM GMT
    Cash said
    ElectroShark said
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.
    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.
    Note the number of Missing Persons reports filed 20 years ago...

    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    Given his Sharkeyness, if he had said "I'd meet someone for lunch in the afternoon…" I'd be seriously concerned. icon_idea.gif
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:57 AM GMT
    ElectroShark said
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.

    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.

    Sharky is such a playa. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 4:57 AM GMT
    MikeW said
    Cash said
    ElectroShark said
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.
    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.
    Note the number of Missing Persons reports filed 20 years ago...

    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    Given his Sharkeyness, if he had said "I'd meet someone for lunch in the afternoon…" I'd be seriously concerned. icon_idea.gif


    That always WAS the problem with AOL...too many damn cannibals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 5:13 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    ElectroShark said
    th3ro saidI'm with xrichx on this one. Face to face is much better for getting to know someone. Nothing wrong with meeting someone for a coffee or beer that you've only chatted to briefly online.

    In the old AOL days (20 years ago) I'd meet someone in the afternoon if they were amusing enough online in the morning.

    Sharky is such a playa. icon_cool.gif

    Not these days, bubeleh.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 23, 2014 5:42 AM GMT
    You can't really get a sense of a person with just words on a page. When you read words on a page, you are actually interjecting your personality in the words, so you are not really actually getting to know the person. There is a lot that goes on when you meet some one in person. Actions, reaction, inflections, facial expressions, body movement all help us to interpret who the person really is. That is why so many people get con'ed over the internet, because they are not dealing with a real person. They are dealing with words and interpreting them in a completely different manner. There is no way to know someone unless you meet them in person. Sometimes even the most violent psychopaths can write eloquently, or the greatest guy can have no writing skill, but may have the most awesome personality, but when you meet them in person, you get a sense of who they really are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
    While I agree that face-to-face communication is best or preferable to internet communication, I dont think that there's anything wrong necessarily with wanting to talk online for awhile before meeting up.

    I know a couple that has talked online for 2-3 months before ever meeting in person... they're still together, four years later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2014 11:40 PM GMT
    I only communicate online, chat, text to a certain time frame. Like 2-3 days max and casually try to set a date to meet up. If the guy seems to be not into it, I'd leave it and move on. My rule of thumb is you don't give the guy too much time to make it look like you're too available.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 24, 2014 1:10 AM GMT
    when the texting stops the relationship is in trouble