Can a hand shake reveal a lot about the relationship you might have with a guy?

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    Apr 25, 2014 8:06 PM GMT
    I have met about 9 guys with online dating sites, and 3 out of the 9 were the guys I spent the longest chatting to and even though I am no longer chatting to these 3 I had a great time with them overall. Strangely enough on first encounter with all 9 guys the 3 were the ones who gave me a good, firm handshake whereas the 6 gave a lame handshake. Can a handshake on first time meeting says something about the relationship you might share with a guy?
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    Apr 25, 2014 8:19 PM GMT
    I think so. Firm represents someone who is actively interested. They are putting thought into the shake. The ones who are not as interested don't seem to put as much energy into the shake, as if they can't be bothered.

    tbh, I had never really thought of this until this thread but it makes complete sense now.
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    Apr 25, 2014 8:34 PM GMT
    Of course not.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 25, 2014 8:47 PM GMT
    A weak, limp handshake is kind of a turnoff - but def not a dealbreaker.
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    Apr 25, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    dudewithabeard saidI think so. Firm represents someone who is actively interested. They are putting thought into the shake. The ones who are not as interested don't seem to put as much energy into the shake, as if they can't be bothered.

    tbh, I had never really thought of this until this thread but it makes complete sense now.

    The strength of a handshake can mean different things in different situations, but I think in the scenario the OP described, interest level is really what it's about. It's not really that deep. The three liked what they saw upon meeting the OP as evidenced by having a great time afterward and the level of chat they engaged in. The other ones just weren't as interested.
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    Apr 25, 2014 9:20 PM GMT
    no
  • AMoonHawk

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    Apr 25, 2014 9:25 PM GMT
    no ... I dated this younger guy once that shook my hand very weakly when we first met. I still asked him out any ways and he was a real sweet guy. I asked him why he shook my hand so weakly when we first met, and he said he didn't know, that is the way he shook everyone's hand. So I then proceeded to teach him how he was suppose to shakes hands and why.
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    Apr 25, 2014 9:28 PM GMT
    I don't think it's a good indicator of intention with you but somewhat of an indicator of the person as whole.

    I always give a firm handshake there is no exception where I don't or won't. Even when I shake the hand of a lady it's a firm handshake.

    I think it speaks of the persons confidence and self assurance about the person.

    But then I'm finding a lot of gay guys don't like shaking hands but the second you offer up a hug they are all over that crap like a fat kid on cake.

    Perhaps just a different mentality really.
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    Apr 25, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    No.
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    Apr 25, 2014 9:34 PM GMT
    Although I hate a wimpy handshake, I think this is bullshit.

    I remember just about a month ago, I met one of the hottest guys I'd ever seen. When he approached me I almost lost my breath. When we shook hands, I was so overwhelmed with lust, the minute the handshake ended, I knew I had just given him what I hate....a wimpy handshake. He made me so weak, I'm surprised I was able to lift my hand at all! icon_redface.gif
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    Apr 25, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    Someone needs a teaspoon of concrete and harden the fuck up.

    Not saying who however.
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    Apr 25, 2014 9:45 PM GMT
    I'm confused; I thought we gays were supposed to be hugging and kissing instead of shaking hands.
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    Apr 26, 2014 12:46 AM GMT
    I wonder if guys with firm handshakes just tend to be more assertive in general, and you find yourself more attracted to confident assertive guys?

    I find I shake everyone's hand the same strength regardless of how hot they are. But the hot guys it may sometimes linger a moment longer icon_smile.gif
  • itsjojobxtch

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    Apr 26, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    Thinking that way is literally like judging a book by its cover. You can't just rely on a mere handshake nor the first impression. There's so much more to know about a person besides a handshake !
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    Apr 26, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI don't think it's a good indicator of intention with you but somewhat of an indicator of the person as whole.

    I always give a firm handshake there is no exception where I don't or won't. Even when I shake the hand of a lady it's a firm handshake.

    I think it speaks of the persons confidence and self assurance about the person.

    But then I'm finding a lot of gay guys don't like shaking hands but the second you offer up a hug they are all over that crap like a fat kid on cake.

    Perhaps just a different mentality really.


    This.

    I have a firm grip which I use in business, but when it comes to meeting lads, I would not judge much by a handshake. Most lads I know would give quite a weak shake, yet would be up for a hug. I guess that I would assume a guy like that is a bit submissive, whereas if a lad gives a firm shake and looks me square in the eye, then I would take that as a bit of a challenge.
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    Apr 26, 2014 4:29 AM GMT
    This will become less of a problem. As a public service, I am teaching guys with limp handshakes how to do it properly.

    I mean, if he can't grip my hand firmly, how is he going to grip my . . .
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    Apr 26, 2014 5:19 AM GMT
    I try not to read too much into it. A guy about 65 shook my hand once and I'm not kidding: I thought he broke the bones in my palm. It was like a vice grip and it hurt. He was a really nice guy, the whole thing was professional and I'm convinced there was nothing sinister in it. He just gave really strong handshakes.
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    Apr 26, 2014 5:31 AM GMT
    YVRguy saidI try not to read too much into it. A guy about 65 shook my hand once and I'm not kidding: I thought he broke the bones in my palm. It was like a vice grip and it hurt. He was a really nice guy, the whole thing was professional and I'm convinced there was nothing sinister in it. He just gave really strong handshakes.


    That can be worse than a limp handshake. That tells me the guy is insecure and is trying to prove something by trying to fracture your hand.
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    Apr 26, 2014 5:38 AM GMT
    Yeah, maybe so. I was about 40 then and he might have been sensitive about his age or something. I just figured at the time that he took the concept of a firm handshake far to literally.
  • momule

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    Apr 30, 2014 7:50 PM GMT
    Go back to kjmchu's question. Can it say "something" about the relationship. Yes, it can definitely say something about the relationship, but what? I agree most with lilTanker. It is more an indicator of the person as a whole as opposed to just the relationship. If you are looking for a more dominant, assertive, confident guy, then a firm handshake will probably serve you best. A "dead fish" shake may turn you off. I take handshakes very seriously whether in business or personal. This has not betrayed me over the years.