Best place to live as you grow old

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    Apr 25, 2014 10:07 PM GMT
    There's a tendency for gay men to gravitate towards places with large gay communities as they grow old. But as the US becomes more gay accepting is this really the best place to settle given the high cost of real estate and the fact that most are in crowded metro areas? For those not coupled, loneliness is probably the primary reason they gravitate towards gay neighborhoods. But I have found that it is people who make us feeling lonely not the lack there of. Consequently I like to seek refuge in natural beauty and find when I do run into fellow humans in this setting their energy is so much more positive than you find in crowded metro areas.

    Another consideration is age segregation. I'm not youth obsessed but let's face it some people won't bother to engage in a conversation with someone "too old". This syndrome is not an exclusivity of gay men. You can find the same attitude among young straight kids particularly in chic yuppie neighborhoods. But my experience with the progressive small and mid-size cities is that people of all ages treat me with a lot more warmth and respect than I find in most gay settings. Now as I see it, getting laid or finding a mate is going to be hard as you grow old and where you live won't make much of a difference. So it seems to me we'd be better off in an eclectic gay accepting community of all sexualities where people of all ages mingle together, than segregating ourselves among other aging gay men. Are my experiences unique or have others made similar observations?



  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Apr 25, 2014 10:17 PM GMT
    Anywhere above ground and out of nursing facilities
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    Apr 25, 2014 11:03 PM GMT
    Argentina has a large U.S. expat community. Buenos Aires is fagulous. San Carlos De Bariloche is just a short plane ride away and offers a small town feel in the middle of a national park slightly smaller than Yellowstone. Real estate is relatively cheap.

    With the exchange rate so favorable against the U.S. Dollar, hookers priced in Argentine pesos are quite affordable and can provide for beyond everyday social companionship which is quite plentiful.

    It's very easy to bring dollars in. Don't plan on repatriating any profits which may come from ventures or from any purchases of real estate.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 25, 2014 11:04 PM GMT
    jo2hotbod saidAnywhere above ground and out of nursing facilities

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    +1
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    Apr 25, 2014 11:17 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidThere are gay retirement communities you should check out.


    I think you missed the point of what I wrote. I was asking if gays were better off in their own little retirement community or integrated with the rest of society now that society becoming more gay accepting. Personally I don't see myself settling in any retirement community, gay or straight.
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    Apr 25, 2014 11:18 PM GMT
    The cemetery?
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    Apr 25, 2014 11:54 PM GMT
    friendormate said
    woodsmen saidThere are gay retirement communities you should check out.


    I think you missed the point of what I wrote. I was asking if gays were better off in their own little retirement community or integrated with the rest of society now that society becoming more gay accepting. Personally I don't see myself settling in any retirement community, gay or straight.


    The answer to your question rests upon the individual person's physical, emotional, and other needs at a particular point in time.

    At this time, I do not see myself in a retirement community. I see myself living out of a backpack on an "endless" journey around the world by plane, boat, bus, train, mule, camel, bicycle, skateboard, wingsuit, and maybe hot air balloon. It is my hope that my "end" comes doing something adventurous...like being eaten alive by wild animals while on photo safari (all caught on video, of course).
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    Apr 26, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    friendormate said
    woodsmen saidThere are gay retirement communities you should check out.


    I think you missed the point of what I wrote. I was asking if gays were better off in their own little retirement community or integrated with the rest of society now that society becoming more gay accepting. Personally I don't see myself settling in any retirement community, gay or straight.


    The answer to your question rests upon the individual person's physical, emotional, and other needs at a particular point in time.

    At this time, I do not see myself in a retirement community. I see myself living out of a backpack on an "endless" journey around the world by plane, boat, bus, train, mule, camel, bicycle, skateboard, wingsuit, and maybe hot air balloon. It is my hope that my "end" comes doing something adventurous...like being eaten alive by wild animals while on photo safari (all caught on video, of course).


    I think we are on the same page! Get the most out of good health while you can!
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Apr 26, 2014 12:14 AM GMT
    I wouldn't want to be in a retirement community of any sort.
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    Apr 26, 2014 12:26 AM GMT
    friendormate said
    GAMRican said
    friendormate said
    woodsmen saidThere are gay retirement communities you should check out.


    I think you missed the point of what I wrote. I was asking if gays were better off in their own little retirement community or integrated with the rest of society now that society becoming more gay accepting. Personally I don't see myself settling in any retirement community, gay or straight.


    The answer to your question rests upon the individual person's physical, emotional, and other needs at a particular point in time.

    At this time, I do not see myself in a retirement community. I see myself living out of a backpack on an "endless" journey around the world by plane, boat, bus, train, mule, camel, bicycle, skateboard, wingsuit, and maybe hot air balloon. It is my hope that my "end" comes doing something adventurous...like being eaten alive by wild animals while on photo safari (all caught on video, of course).


    I think we are on the same page! Get the most out of good health while you can!


    And, I want the video broadcast on Hangout (with playback available on YouTube). I want people to see my last moment reaching for the camera with that "Oh, $hit! I think it's my time!" look on my face just as some beast chomps down and rips out the side of my neck.

    There should be popcorn, caek, and moar!
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    Apr 26, 2014 2:22 AM GMT
    Even though Gays are more accepted nowadays, I wouldn't assume to live anywhere, openly Gay.

    I love Palm Springs. It's only 47K people, yet it's very cosmopolitan and uber Gay. And it you're over 60 you are normal. And real estate is affordable.

    Since you are in NC already, I love Asheville. It seems very open to everybody, reasonable RE prices. Other Gay small towns: Russian River (more lesbian lately) really expensive though. Wilton Manors in Ft Lauderdale has a small town Gay feel.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Apr 26, 2014 3:09 AM GMT
    Friendormate, I can't see being in a gay enclave. Seems like a ghetto to me. diversity is important and neighborhoods and environments with mixed ages and interests tend to be interesting, at least to me.

    Besides, it is no fun being a cantankerous old fart with too many like me around.
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Apr 26, 2014 3:23 AM GMT
    Hmm, I'm 56, not retired, living in Minneapolis. I play tennis with a bunch of seniors. Anybody over 50 is a senior. It gives me certain advantages (low price to pay for instruction, drills and tournaments). I am about a 3.0 level player, not great.

    I would like to live somewhere warmer, play tennis, be involved with the community at large and be in contact with some gay men. I am not that adventurous and don't want to be eaten by wild animals or die climbing Mt. Everest.

    Maybe I'd like to travel at times with a few people I know. I'm not interested in gay night life in particular now. I like reading, good conversation, theatre, music, movies, sports, dining out, cooking with friends. Small groups of people I mostly know.

    As I age, I still want to contribute to society at large, contribute to the lives of younger people, and live a good life. Being segregated with only gay people sounds unappealing to me. Being segregated away from other gay people sounds pretty bad (lots of nursing homes are like this).
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Apr 26, 2014 3:38 AM GMT
    Oh, and the roof should not leak, the heat and AC should work well and the plumbing should be perfect.

    No cats.
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    Apr 26, 2014 4:44 AM GMT
    Fuck the pundents. Live your life as you wish

    Loved Brasil (Rio, Bahia, Sao Paulo)

    The men and women are awesome

    Tommy
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Apr 26, 2014 5:17 AM GMT
    friendormate saidThere's a tendency for gay men to gravitate towards places with large gay communities as they grow old. But as the US becomes more gay accepting is this really the best place to settle given the high cost of real estate and the fact that most are in crowded metro areas? For those not coupled, loneliness is probably the primary reason they gravitate towards gay neighborhoods. But I have found that it is people who make us feeling lonely not the lack there of. Consequently I like to seek refuge in natural beauty and find when I do run into fellow humans in this setting their energy is so much more positive than you find in crowded metro areas.

    Another consideration is age segregation. I'm not youth obsessed but let's face it some people won't bother to engage in a conversation with someone "too old". This syndrome is not an exclusivity of gay men. You can find the same attitude among young straight kids particularly in chic yuppie neighborhoods. But my experience with the progressive small and mid-size cities is that people of all ages treat me with a lot more warmth and respect than I find in most gay settings. Now as I see it, getting laid or finding a mate is going to be hard as you grow old and where you live won't make much of a difference. So it seems to me we'd be better off in an eclectic gay accepting community of all sexualities where people of all ages mingle together, than segregating ourselves among other aging gay men. Are my experiences unique or have others made similar observations?


    This is something you would have to determine for yourself. A lot of older gay men live in New Hope which is a small town, a gay tourist area. Others prefer the city. I am hearing Ann Arbor, MI is like what you are talking about. It really just depends on how you want to live. There are bars that cater to older gay men. You would be surprised about how many younger guys like older men along with men who like their own age so there will be a variety of men still out there looking to meet you. As you can tell from this site, there are plenty of men that maintain themselves.
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    Apr 27, 2014 12:52 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    friendormate said
    GAMRican said
    friendormate said
    woodsmen saidThere are gay retirement communities you should check out.


    I think you missed the point of what I wrote. I was asking if gays were better off in their own little retirement community or integrated with the rest of society now that society becoming more gay accepting. Personally I don't see myself settling in any retirement community, gay or straight.


    The answer to your question rests upon the individual person's physical, emotional, and other needs at a particular point in time.

    At this time, I do not see myself in a retirement community. I see myself living out of a backpack on an "endless" journey around the world by plane, boat, bus, train, mule, camel, bicycle, skateboard, wingsuit, and maybe hot air balloon. It is my hope that my "end" comes doing something adventurous...like being eaten alive by wild animals while on photo safari (all caught on video, of course).


    I think we are on the same page! Get the most out of good health while you can!


    And, I want the video broadcast on Hangout (with playback available on YouTube). I want people to see my last moment reaching for the camera with that "Oh, $hit! I think it's my time!" look on my face just as some beast chomps down and rips out the side of my neck.

    There should be popcorn, caek, and moar!


    Exactly! You know it makes me think of a change of heart I had at 48 in regards to whitewater kayaking, The thought of being trapped underwater was such a phobia of mine I never considered the sport. But after my mom's I thought, slow drawn out deaths are so much worse.
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    Apr 27, 2014 1:04 AM GMT
    unckabasa saidEven though Gays are more accepted nowadays, I wouldn't assume to live anywhere, openly Gay.

    I love Palm Springs. It's only 47K people, yet it's very cosmopolitan and uber Gay. And it you're over 60 you are normal. And real estate is affordable.

    Since you are in NC already, I love Asheville. It seems very open to everybody, reasonable RE prices. Other Gay small towns: Russian River (more lesbian lately) really expensive though. Wilton Manors in Ft Lauderdale has a small town Gay feel.


    I love Asheville but it is more of a lesbian town a.she.ville as they call it. Still it is a good example. Wilmington where I live is not quite as liberal but is for the most part coastal version of Asheville. I came back to the state where I was raised only because of my parents health. But as I settle in, I began to realize I don't miss the big American cities where I lived. European cities I always miss, but that may have to do with the general feeling of being more socially free there.

    Someone mentioned Ann Arbor. Another good example. New Hope Pa may be a gay enclave but I think that is a good example of an alternative to a gay ghetto. I have been there it is so small you still have access to natural beauty.
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    Apr 27, 2014 1:34 AM GMT
    rdberg1957 saidHmm, I'm 56, not retired, living in Minneapolis. I play tennis with a bunch of seniors. Anybody over 50 is a senior. It gives me certain advantages (low price to pay for instruction, drills and tournaments). I am about a 3.0 level player, not great.

    I would like to live somewhere warmer, play tennis, be involved with the community at large and be in contact with some gay men. I am not that adventurous and don't want to be eaten by wild animals or die climbing Mt. Everest.

    Maybe I'd like to travel at times with a few people I know. I'm not interested in gay night life in particular now. I like reading, good conversation, theatre, music, movies, sports, dining out, cooking with friends. Small groups of people I mostly know.

    As I age, I still want to contribute to society at large, contribute to the lives of younger people, and live a good life. Being segregated with only gay people sounds unappealing to me. Being segregated away from other gay people sounds pretty bad (lots of nursing homes are like this).


    It sounds like you're looking for the sweet point I'm talking about. None of us want to be "the only gay in town". And when you move away from big metro areas you discover how many people still live in the closet well into adult life.

    But here I am in the south and I've managed to find many gay accepting place. I've had many divorced women hit on me and I have no trouble letting them know they are barking up the wrong tree. It usually goes like this: "are you married?" "No." "Have you ever been?" "No" "Why not?" "Because I"m Gay, there I said it!"