I'm only attracted to muscular guys: is that shallow?

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    Jan 01, 2009 8:22 PM GMT
    Whenever I get asked on this site, "What do you look for in a guy?", my typical response is: muscular (along with intelligent, funny, etc.) For a while I thought I was being vain, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like it actually isn't.

    A guy taking care of himself and being strong physically is a great sign of his personality, and I feel like being muscular can initially say a lot about you. Am I wrong to think that?
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    Jan 01, 2009 8:27 PM GMT
    ahaha Í´m sort of similar. You have to make a distinction: if a guy is muscular cos of his genetics and the fact he´s only ever been good at lifting metal, then that´s not attractive. And it´s not attractive if it means that they guy is so in love with himself that there is no room left for anyone else.

    If he´s muscular because he is disciplined that´s more sexy. And there are lots of kinds of "muscular", don´t you think? and if he´s funny, and educated and kind. Wow. That´s what I like... But I´d take kind and funny over "muscular". icon_wink.gif

    Just not convinced I have to make it an either/or icon_lol.gif

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    Jan 01, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    Ur not going to like every guy that walks by so I'm going 2 say it's ok to be shallow as long as u don't go overboard with it
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    Jan 01, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    Not necessarily shallow; that's also a legitimate preference, which most of us have in some way.

    Some guys prefer slender, tall, blonde, black or white, bear, twink, and all kinds of things. I don't know why muscular would be "shallow" especially when you also mention your ideal guy being intelligent & funny, as well.

    Shallow might be interest in only muscles and nothing else, so I think you're just fine. Enjoy!
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    Jan 01, 2009 8:51 PM GMT
    I've been rejected because I wasn't fat enough.

    I just can't win...
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    Jan 01, 2009 10:43 PM GMT
    I don't think its shallow at all, if youre talking about a relationship or sex.

    You like what you like. Besides, what you like might change over the years, just be true to yourself.

    If you let your attraction to muscular guys be a factor in who you select as friends, you are probably limiting yourself and that would be shallow.

    Now can I ask you a question?
    Why is a 21 yr old in America on a gay site without a public face pic?
    Just curious.
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    Jan 01, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    sundayswim, some guys are discreet.

    My take on this -- nothing wrong with it.

    We're all attracted to different things. Just like there are people attracted to chubby chasers out there, leather daddies, college jocks, etc. The list goes on. But like sundayswim said, don't limit yourself on making friends just because they're not muscular.

    A muscular nerd. Now that's yummy.
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    Jan 01, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    yes
  • hartfan

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    Jan 01, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    I think the fact that you're also concerned about other qualities is an indication that you're not as shallow as you think. I think physical attraction is always an important part of any attraction, as long as that kind of attraction is not exclusive or dominant over everything else.
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    Jan 01, 2009 11:26 PM GMT
    I think it depends on how far the attraction goes. If you really aren't sure, then ask yourself if you would date a guy whose only attractive quality was his body. If you say yes, then, there's your answer.
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    Jan 01, 2009 11:40 PM GMT
    college1187 saidA guy taking care of himself and being strong physically is a great sign of his personality, and I feel like being muscular can initially say a lot about you. Am I wrong to think that?
    Maybe it is a phase we go through to be attracted to muscular types. Nevertheless, sometimes being muscular can also mean that a guy is insecure, obsessed with himself, and/or uses steroids to get that way (I don't demonize guys who use steroids, I just don't care for the ones that act superior to everyone else who does not). If you want to make assessments about what people are like, get to know them instead of making assumptions from the way they look. Some of the greatest people in the world get overlooked because they don't turn heads - you realize that as you get older.

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    Jan 01, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    Yes. But that's ok. You have a lot of life ahead of you. You can afford to be shallow for now. You'll expand your tastes - especially if you get your fill of muscular guys and still don't find someone that 'clicks'.


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    Jan 01, 2009 11:51 PM GMT
    nice fake pic.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 01, 2009 11:53 PM GMT
    Q: I'm only attracted to muscular guys: is that shallow?



    A:Yeah


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    Jan 02, 2009 12:11 AM GMT
    I think it can be. It's perfectly fine to like what you like. But when actively seeking relationships or friendships it's probably best not to let looks be the dominating factor.

    If a guy is muscular, but is a jerk. Are you going to like him better than a guy with a different body type who has a sense of humor, and something to talk about besides how hot he is? Probably not.

    That, plus looks and build are not the only things which make a man attractive. Who you'll beat your meat to and who you'll wind up with are probably going to be pretty different.

    But you're 21...life is going to have to beat your ass a few more times before you'll come to the realization on your own that you can't have everything and if you can it's not going to be at your doorstep or easy to find. You'll learn to pick and choose what's most important to you.
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    Jan 02, 2009 12:35 AM GMT
    college1187 saidWhenever I get asked on this site, "What do you look for in a guy?", my typical response is: muscular (along with intelligent, funny, etc.) For a while I thought I was being vain, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like it actually isn't.

    A guy taking care of himself and being strong physically is a great sign of his personality, and I feel like being muscular can initially say a lot about you. Am I wrong to think that?


    There's nothing wrong with being primarily attracted to muscular men but it's kind of ridiculous to try to pass it off it as something deeper than it is - there are tons of muscular guys with really shitty personalities - being muscular doesn't mean anything about you other than you're muscular - there are many ways of "taking care of yourself" that don't involve resistance training. Just embrace your preference, don't make excuses for it.
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    Jan 02, 2009 1:24 AM GMT
    You are completely right in having your personal preference be whatever it is. That's called honesty.

    Similar interests in lifestyle increase your chances of a good relationship at any level. It just makes sense.

    Would a fit, built, health-minded guy want to hang out with a hairy, fat, out-of-shape smoker? Usually, of course not.

    It's completely right and proper, and plain good sense, to chose to surround yourself with those you find appealing, and those you connect with at any of a variety of levels.

    Making sound judgments makes very good sense.

    To have good relationships, at any level, being judgmental in who you choose is extremely important.

    It sounds like you have.
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    Jan 02, 2009 1:28 AM GMT
    Yes...time and gravity will always win, even in the best physical specimen...and god forbid an accident happens that causes some deformity. In the end, if you can't be friends and can't hold conversations and interests away from sex topics, you are doomed to a very lonely life of short, broken relationships... you might want to re-evaluate this "attraction" and understand that you "lust" after "muscular guys", but those most likely won't be long relationships....good luck.icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 02, 2009 1:33 AM GMT

    I agree with the previous poster. But it's both honest AND a bit shallow. How is being strong physically a 'great sign of personality'? Does that mean that skinny guys have not-so-great personalities?

    It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that your predilection for muscle is not superficial by throwing the word 'personality' in there.

    In any case, it's a sad day when we start excluding people from our dating pool for not having big muscles, when really the 'muscle' between their ears matters SO much more.

    But hey, to each his own. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 02, 2009 1:40 AM GMT
    It is not shallow!

    Whatever turns you on is what you go for, we are all "shallow" when it comes to sexual attraction, now a relationship is another thing, but you still have to be attracted to the person.

    My best friend is a chubby chaser, and he is very active and fit. He has been with his, large bf for 7 years now. It is his preference, is he shallow for being attracted to an obese man? for that matter are we all shallow for wanting men?

    All these people that say it is shallow are lame. Why don't you go and date the most obese man, he may be "nice" and have a great personality. oh wait...cause you won't be able to get it up right? Now go and vomit..


    geeez....so what.
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    Jan 02, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    You are shallow unless you are attracted to the entirety of humanity. That makes us all shallow.
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    Jan 02, 2009 4:36 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidYou are shallow unless you are attracted to the entirety of humanity. That makes us all shallow.


    I am shallow. I'm not attracted to women. icon_sad.gif
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    Jan 02, 2009 2:01 PM GMT
    Not shallow, but maybe missing out...

    2179276248_240265176c.jpg?

    Jude Law

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    Torres (Liverpool Player)

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    Beckham
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jan 02, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
    What to expect from a 21 years old guy with testorone overload and high power sex imagination . When you get older you start realize there more to a men than pyhsical attraction. There come a time you get tired of muscular men who only know about lifting weight, showing of their body, and talk nonsense. Just like you , I mature to something more class when I get older.
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    Jan 02, 2009 2:38 PM GMT
    I think it is pretty common when we are starting out as sexually active adults to have a strong preference. For me it was dark-haired, dark-eyed men with slim or wiry builds. Italian, Latino, Spanish and Greek men were all good! Really muscular guys did not do it for me.

    A guy that is muscular could indicate that he is taking care of himself, or it could be that he is narcissistic and self-absorbed! You don't know until you get to know him better.

    I personally feel that being to rigid in one's preferences can be detrimental in the long run for finding a partner (not for finding casual sex though). You may overlook a guy that does not hit all the right buttons. You find out later he would have been a good catch, but too late he has moved on.