Do you think it's possible to fall in love or get infatuated with someone online just with their words?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2014 10:24 PM GMT
    Is that even possible? lol How can that happen? Has it happen to you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    In my teenage years, of course. Nowadays, not so much; I tend to believe what I can see.

    I know someone that has talked with their partner online for around 3-4 months before they ended up actually dating. They've been together for 3-4 years, have a house together and all.

    It's not that it isn't possible, it just isn't very common. Is real love really all that common to begin with?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2014 1:15 PM GMT
    I love you!

    lol, yeah it is possible, the first bf I had I met online, we spoke for 6 months before we met as he lived in another city, and I very much fell for him before we met, and we we're together 4 years

    But, when I met him he wasn't what I expected, but better, thats the risk I think, hopefully what you find is more of what you like
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    Yes, it is very possible. Words can make anyone fall in love.
  • toastvenom

    Posts: 1020

    Apr 28, 2014 6:27 PM GMT
    of course it can happen. the same way that looks can attract, reading an individual's comments on various issues showcases the level of their intellect, and if dudes aren't bullshitting and hold personality and intelligence on the same pedestal as looks then it can totally happen.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 28, 2014 6:34 PM GMT
    I believe it can happen no doubt. For me it did but didn't work out so well when we met he was nothing like his pics at all. It is a double edged sword but it is totally possible yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 7:01 PM GMT
    Toastvenom saidof course it can happen. the same way that looks can attract, reading an individual's comments on various issues showcases the level of their intellect, and if dudes aren't bullshitting and hold personality and intelligence on the same pedestal as looks then it can totally happen.


    Good point
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    Apr 28, 2014 7:22 PM GMT
    I can speak from experience YES! I had be corresponding for over a year with a sexy guy in Romania (still do). One day he just disappeared. When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me. I told him all I was feeling and he said he felt the same. Now with Skype we can actual chat. He's such a sexy man and that Count Dracula Romanian accent is just the icing on a perfect piece of cake.

    One day I will meet him in person and will explode on contact.
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    Apr 28, 2014 7:28 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI can speak from experience YES! I had be corresponding for over a year with a sexy guy in Romania (still do). One day he just disappeared. When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me. I told him all I was feeling and he said he felt the same. Now with Skype we can actual chat. He's such a sexy man and that Count Dracula Romanian accent is just the icing on a perfect piece of cake.

    One day I will meet him in person and will explode on contact.


    awww that was kind of sweet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 9:18 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI can speak from experience YES! I had be corresponding for over a year with a sexy guy in Romania (still do). One day he just disappeared. When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me. I told him all I was feeling and he said he felt the same. Now with Skype we can actual chat. He's such a sexy man and that Count Dracula Romanian accent is just the icing on a perfect piece of cake.

    One day I will meet him in person and will explode on contact.


    lol Funny you say that. I have a similar situation but the only difference is that I haven't spoken to the guy on chat. But yeah, the "When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me" part is spot on in my case too. lol That's when I knew I has a crush on him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 9:26 PM GMT
    No.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Apr 28, 2014 9:50 PM GMT
    Absolutely. I think it actually helps to know someone very well before you meet. You may have a pic and a profile but you also get to know how he is in the moment. How he speaks, what he's excited about. That is the basis of actually being into someone. You meet some guy in a bar or even in a sports venue and what do you know about him? How he looks? People say it is shallow to try to find someone online-- I think it is actually the reverse.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 9:53 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidAbsolutely. I think it actually helps to know someone very well before you meet. You may have a pic and a profile but you also get to know how he is in the moment. How he speaks, what he's excited about. That is the basis of actually being into someone. You meet some guy in a bar or even in a sports venue and what do you know about him? How he looks? People say it is shallow to try to find someone online-- I think it is actually the reverse.


    Agreed. I think looking for that "special someone" online is a lot less shallow because it makes you focus on their personality and not solely how they look.
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    Apr 28, 2014 9:58 PM GMT
    kevex said
    UndercoverMan saidI can speak from experience YES! I had be corresponding for over a year with a sexy guy in Romania (still do). One day he just disappeared. When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me. I told him all I was feeling and he said he felt the same. Now with Skype we can actual chat. He's such a sexy man and that Count Dracula Romanian accent is just the icing on a perfect piece of cake.

    One day I will meet him in person and will explode on contact.


    lol Funny you say that. I have a similar situation but the only difference is that I haven't spoken to the guy on chat. But yeah, the "When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me" part is spot on in my case too. lol That's when I knew I has a crush on him.


    Holy shit! YOU DO HAVE A HEART!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 10:00 PM GMT
    kevex said
    UndercoverMan saidI can speak from experience YES! I had be corresponding for over a year with a sexy guy in Romania (still do). One day he just disappeared. When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me. I told him all I was feeling and he said he felt the same. Now with Skype we can actual chat. He's such a sexy man and that Count Dracula Romanian accent is just the icing on a perfect piece of cake.

    One day I will meet him in person and will explode on contact.


    lol Funny you say that. I have a similar situation but the only difference is that I haven't spoken to the guy on chat. But yeah, the "When he contacted me again I was flush with emotion on the verge of tears I was so happy to see he was alive and hadn't forgotten me" part is spot on in my case too. lol That's when I knew I has a crush on him.


    *had oops
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2014 10:08 PM GMT
    owl_bundy said
    kevex said
    Destinharbor saidAbsolutely. I think it actually helps to know someone very well before you meet. You may have a pic and a profile but you also get to know how he is in the moment. How he speaks, what he's excited about. That is the basis of actually being into someone. You meet some guy in a bar or even in a sports venue and what do you know about him? How he looks? People say it is shallow to try to find someone online-- I think it is actually the reverse.


    Agreed. I think looking for that "special someone" online is a lot less shallow because it makes you focus on their personality and not solely how they look.


    i disagree with that. i think it's better in person. online, someone can make some profile about themselves, take a bunch of pictures, say whatever and etc. in person, you pretty much get to see who that person is. hear their voice. see how they act around other people. there's no hiding spaces. it's about what you bring to the table. if you're someone who's serious and looking for some real shit, you have to put yourself across like that. you also have to be willing to be nonjudgmental as well because if you're ready to look down on somebody for whatever then they're not going to be upfront with you. they're going to be scared to keep it real with you. you have to establish that trust.


    Well that's a good point. I sure hope I never get catfished. That's why I think it's a good idea to video chat or Skype with someone first. If they hesitate, it's suspicious.
  • jaroslav123

    Posts: 600

    Apr 29, 2014 3:51 AM GMT
    Perhaps not love...but certainly infatuation.
    Words have power, and when used correctly can permanently ingrain your soul.

    I don't think love, because there's something more cold, clinical and distancing about the written word in comparison to the spoken word (which by its very nature, has more emotion injected into it).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2014 4:27 AM GMT
    Not love but I found myself being really drawn to one member here but he disappeared briefly and not been the same since returning which is a blessing because the first time round I think he was putting on an act or something.

    One guy on a dating said with just words online and a couple of phone calls got me hooked (mix of spoken and written) before I ever saw him in the flesh.
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    Apr 29, 2014 4:44 AM GMT
    People become addicted to online poker, for what it's worth. They enter a reward/repeat loop that triggers a dopamine rush in their brain, and they experience profound pleasure. Eventually they are unable to function without seeking that rush. Going cold turkey can cause mild to severe withdrawal.

    Some people, particularly people with natural tendencies toward rush-seeking, or people without fully developed inhibitions (youth), will fall easily in love with a subject (who is sometimes catfishing them, or is a robot), and be unable to function without seeking the reward cycle from their experience.

    This effect is usually more profound when it's experienced in person, with their target triggering feelings of infatuation. However, enough stimulation can be delivered with words and pictures alone--and particularly if it's a volatile medium like Skype--to trigger infatuation.

    Should you judge someone for having this happen to them? is a fair question. Depends upon if this infatuation impacts you, their friend, negatively. Like, does it make them miss appointments? Are they often late for work because they're always checking their friend's Facebook status? Are they behind on rent? Will they become suicidal if their object dumps them? Will you be rescuing them?
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Apr 29, 2014 5:47 AM GMT
    This has happened to me through Twitter and Skype. Someone I was emailing stated that they were "having deep feelings for me" and think they are "falling for me". It is harmless fantasy but if it goes to far it can consume your life and it is best to end it unless a regular relationship is possible.
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    Apr 29, 2014 5:58 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidPeople become addicted to online poker, for what it's worth. They enter a reward/repeat loop that triggers a dopamine rush in their brain, and they experience profound pleasure. Eventually they are unable to function without seeking that rush. Going cold turkey can cause mild to severe withdrawal.

    Some people, particularly people with natural tendencies toward rush-seeking, or people without fully developed inhibitions (youth), will fall easily in love with a subject (who is sometimes catfishing them, or is a robot), and be unable to function without seeking the reward cycle from their experience.

    This effect is usually more profound when it's experienced in person, with their target triggering feelings of infatuation. However, enough stimulation can be delivered with words and pictures alone--and particularly if it's a volatile medium like Skype--to trigger infatuation.

    Should you judge someone for having this happen to them? is a fair question. Depends upon if this infatuation impacts you, their friend, negatively. Like, does it make them miss appointments? Are they often late for work because they're always checking their friend's Facebook status? Are they behind on rent? Will they become suicidal if their object dumps them? Will you be rescuing them?


    That's kinda true because I was dating with someone who would say something nice for every 3 or 4 less nice things but I found myself sticking around because I enjoyed him saying nice stuff. It was a little addictive so I'm glad I've never tried online gambling lol.