Test-drive sex on first date?

  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Apr 28, 2014 3:19 AM GMT
    In my circle of gay friends, it is considered abnormal if you don't sex a guy on the first date. They told me if I don't "test-drive" asap, I risk wasting my time if the sexual chemistry turns out to be bad. By the first date I can usually tell whether the guy is top or bottom, but other than that my position is that if I like the person, the "chemistry" will work itself out. It's not like I'm looking for or even want someone who "knows what he's doing" too well. Is it really that weird?
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    Apr 28, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    Your friends are whores.
  • _whoop_

    Posts: 2

    Apr 28, 2014 4:26 AM GMT
    I don't think it's uncommon to fuck on the first date, but I don't think it's necessary either. Yeah, sexual compatibility is definitely key in a prospective long-term relationship, but is 3 or four dates with a potentially interesting person really "wasting time" if you don't end up being sexually compatible?

    I think, in the end, it depends on what you're looking for, a long term partner, or a future ex-boyfriend. If you're looking for a ltr, chances are you're more interested in who he is, rather than what he can do to/for you, but if you're not looking for something with a legitimate potential for longevity, than yeah, knowing that he's gonna be a good lay right off the bat is probably more of a priority.
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    Apr 28, 2014 6:32 AM GMT
    I'm not sure why you would have to screw a guy to know if the sexual chemistry is there or not.

    All screwing him does is tell you if he's good in bed. You should be able to tell if the -chemistry- is there between yourself and another way before you get to the point of hopping into bed with them.

    "I think, in the end, it depends on what you're looking for, a long term partner, or a future ex-boyfriend. If you're looking for a ltr, chances are you're more interested in who he is, rather than what he can do to/for you, but if you're not looking for something with a legitimate potential for longevity, than yeah, knowing that he's gonna be a good lay right off the bat is probably more of a priority." - whoop

    Yep
  • Kjonyou

    Posts: 93

    Apr 29, 2014 6:45 AM GMT
    Your friends are full of it. You can sleep with someone on a first date, but by no means is it some kind of unwritten law.

    Some guys like to take things a little slower so some chemistry can actually build. it's call anticipation, makes for much hotter sex.

    Maybe its just me, but of all the guys I know in long term relationship, they seem to have some sort of waiting period before they actually jumped into bed together.

    I only know one couple that met in a bath house and were together ever since. But turns out they both went to the same high school without knowing each other so there was that kind of thing going on.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Apr 29, 2014 7:38 AM GMT
    xrichx saidYour friends are whores.

    I agree your friends are sluts.icon_lol.gif
  • jaroslav123

    Posts: 600

    Apr 29, 2014 8:07 AM GMT
    Gunna be blunt....













































    Your friends have fucking vile opinions. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2014 8:29 AM GMT
    What make you think you're lucky enough to test drive him? Lol get new friends, you hang around whores long enough to become one.
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    Apr 29, 2014 9:30 AM GMT
    If you have sex the first time you meet someone then there probably won't be any sexual chemistry because you don't know each other well enough and probably are not that comfortable with each other. If you wait the sex will probably be better.
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    Apr 29, 2014 7:48 PM GMT
    I don't think that there is anything wrong with sex on the first date inherently; I can count a few friends of mine who still have partners whom they slept with on the first 'date'. I just dont think that it's always genuine way to go about getting to know someone, as it's more likely to turn into a "I had fun, I'll talk to you soon (meaning, never again or 6 months from now to do it again)" type of situation.

    When you get naked with someone, a few different types of things happen - most leaving you exposed and vulnerable. Your comfort level with the person makes all of the difference between a 'stay-and-cuddle' and a dash for the door.

    It takes time to reach a good level of comfort with someone, especially for me. With that said, sex for me tends to be a lot more rewarding with someone I've taken the time to get to know over a few dates and so forth.
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Aug 20, 2014 3:39 AM GMT
    Haha, thankfully I have normal friends too.

    However, my closest gay friend (and I choose my friends carefully) has recently decided to "give up on love", 2 years after breaking up with his bf of 4 years. He is now officially willing to do open relationships, threesomes, hooking up, etc... that anything that "makes [him] happy" and "doesn't harm anyone else" should be above reproach. I told him he was harming himself in the long run, to which he said "but it will be consenting".

    I see his version of "happiness" as more akin to a drug high that is temporary and unsatisfying. He's only 29, and to hear him say these things kinda made me depressed. icon_sad.gif
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Aug 21, 2014 11:04 PM GMT
    why on earth do people wait so long to find out if they are sexually compatible, just ask. This should be asked before the date takes place.

    So what are you looking for?
    Im a bottom.
    Darn, well see ya, I need a top.

    It isnt difficult people. You wouldnt date a girl for 3 dates and ask if she wants penis in vagina, to me it is the same thing. If you have a top bottom thing, or expect the other to be one of the three choices, just ask. It isnt difficult.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2014 11:10 PM GMT
    If a priest can wait 6 years before having sex with the new kid in the church, I'm sure we can wait 6 weeks to have sex with the new kid on the block.
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    Aug 22, 2014 2:11 AM GMT
    Your friends are weird.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    Aug 22, 2014 2:43 AM GMT
    Apparition saidwhy on earth do people wait so long to find out if they are sexually compatible, just ask. This should be asked before the date takes place.

    So what are you looking for?
    Im a bottom.
    Darn, well see ya, I need a top.

    It isnt difficult people. You wouldnt date a girl for 3 dates and ask if she wants penis in vagina, to me it is the same thing. If you have a top bottom thing, or expect the other to be one of the three choices, just ask. It isnt difficult.


    That's not the issue for the OP. He already knows if the other guy is a top or btm, just that his friends want to take it a step further and try the sex to see if the "chemistry" is good.

    Which is retarded of course, because chemistry is rarely spontaneous.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2014 10:03 PM GMT
    Apparition saidwhy on earth do people wait so long to find out if they are sexually compatible, just ask. This should be asked before the date takes place.

    So what are you looking for?
    Im a bottom.
    Darn, well see ya, I need a top.

    It isnt difficult people. You wouldnt date a girl for 3 dates and ask if she wants penis in vagina, to me it is the same thing. If you have a top bottom thing, or expect the other to be one of the three choices, just ask. It isnt difficult.


    rude, go on a date and have fun... Then ask the question. Dating men doesn't kill anyone! And it's not waste of time if you're actually having fun while dating someone in a non-sexual way of course.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2014 10:19 PM GMT
    Apparition saidwhy on earth do people wait so long to find out if they are sexually compatible, just ask. This should be asked before the date takes place.

    So what are you looking for?
    Im a bottom.
    Darn, well see ya, I need a top.

    It isnt difficult people. You wouldnt date a girl for 3 dates and ask if she wants penis in vagina, to me it is the same thing. If you have a top bottom thing, or expect the other to be one of the three choices, just ask. It isnt difficult.


    I disagree. Asking a guy his sexual "role" kills spontaneity and keeps you from getting to know an otherwise perfect mate. After meeting the right person, total tops have learned to enjoy bottoming and the biggest bottoms have turned top. Love is a very powerful thing and it can alter what you normally desire in very major ways.
  • Jon_Alex

    Posts: 44

    Sep 02, 2014 2:24 AM GMT
    Sex a guy? What are we animals? ;)

    Kissing is underrated. It sets the whole mood for sex. Kiss a guy and you can tell a lot. In fact, even if the sex turns out good, a mismatch kissing-wise will put a dampener on the rest IMO...

    One thing you learn with age is how to ignore other peoples' stupid opinions. I've had sex on first dates, but I'd never tell others they should do the same.