he has a girlfriend

  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Apr 29, 2014 11:56 AM GMT
    I met up with this guy, after long conversations on the phone. he told me that he has a girlfriend beforehand n I stil agreed to meet. turns out.. an amazing hot guy. I can say that we re still hanging onto the "buddies" tag.. we both really like each others company. should I make a move? or if he does.. should I push him off? im not .. and Never one to support cheating.
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    Apr 29, 2014 12:16 PM GMT
    Don't do it. It won't end well and if anything does happen between you you will end up being jealous of his girlfriend.
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    Apr 29, 2014 1:35 PM GMT
    If you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Apr 29, 2014 1:59 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?

    because im weak. icon_mad.gif


    dammit.
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    Apr 29, 2014 2:02 PM GMT
    keep in mind supposedly the OP's First location: Shillong, Meghalaya, India. Not downtown LA.

    culture is a LOT different


    dont fall in love for someone that is not available and cant 100% return the love. That being said; if he is truly a gay man you are doing him a favor if he dumps his GF


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    Apr 29, 2014 2:32 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?


    That's over simplifying it. I totally hate cheating and don't condone it but when you're in that situation its very easy to justify it to yourself.
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    Apr 29, 2014 3:38 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    Danny_boy93 said ... when you're in that situation its very easy to justify it to yourself.


    i even may be agreeing with you, maybe not:
    you really are doing everyone a fav if he is very gay and he dumps the GF.

    personally i was in a straight relationship. Life would have been much more fulfilling if i was more emotionally more mature and came out then. Instead i phucked with the lives of others as much as mine. At best a gay man is weak in a straight husband / father sitation


    I've never been in a relationship but I was with a guy who was married to a woman and at first I felt guilty but very quickly I actually began to resent a woman I had never met (she was a nurse though which is an indication she is probably a lovely woman). It's very easy to justify in your own mind that the wronged party is actually the problem because the alternative is admitting what you're doing is wrong.

    I certainly advice the OP backing off from a guy in a relationship whether it's gay or straight though because it's not a real relationship and you have to be secretive. So it wasn't obvious who I really was I had to demeaning things like wash their cars every week or so and he told the neighbours I did a bit of cleaning/random jobs for them which is embarrassing when it's not true.

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    Apr 29, 2014 3:49 PM GMT
    Find someone who is man enough to come out and hold your hand in public. Find someone who is not hiding behind a skirt and sleeping with gay men on the DL. Just find someone you can be honest with and not sneak around with. This DL nonsense is exactly that: Nonsense. Explain to me how him cheating on his girlfriend with you makes any sense at all?
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    Apr 29, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    Danny_boy93 said
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?


    That's over simplifying it. I totally hate cheating and don't condone it but when you're in that situation its very easy to justify it to yourself.


    What is there to oversimplify? The guy has a girlfriend which means he's off limits. The OP needs to move on!
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    Apr 29, 2014 4:34 PM GMT
    Erik101 said
    Danny_boy93 said
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?


    That's over simplifying it. I totally hate cheating and don't condone it but when you're in that situation its very easy to justify it to yourself.


    What is there to oversimplify? The guy has a girlfriend which means he's off limits. The OP needs to move on!


    It's over simplified because emotions tend to trump logic.
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    Apr 29, 2014 4:38 PM GMT
    being_human said
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?

    because im weak. icon_mad.gif


    dammit.


    Aw....you poor thing!



    ***leaves thread and shuts the door***
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    Apr 29, 2014 5:36 PM GMT
    I met one of those. He plans on marrying his. He always asked why I liked him. He was obviously scared of starting a relationship with a man. The kind of guy that is on all the sex apps also but only will show you his privates ever until you meet.
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Apr 29, 2014 6:15 PM GMT
    for what its worth, he said he s gonna break up with his girlfriend.. which at first I was pleasantly surprised.
    I guess its a go now. I just answered the thread's question. :-D
    thanks y'all for the answers.
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Apr 29, 2014 6:17 PM GMT
    Erik101 said
    being_human said
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?

    because im weak. icon_mad.gif


    dammit.


    Aw....you poor thing!



    ***leaves thread and shuts the door***


    ah. go on. very matured of you.
    :O
    :-)
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    Apr 29, 2014 6:20 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]JuanPablomv89 said[/cite]
    RemyLoV saidFind someone who is man enough to come out and hold your hand in public.

    in this dang country.. thats a far off statement. almost impossible to expect.
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    Apr 29, 2014 6:25 PM GMT
    Danny_boy93 said
    Erik101 said
    Danny_boy93 said
    Erik101 saidIf you don't support cheating, then why are you asking if you should make a move on him?


    That's over simplifying it. I totally hate cheating and don't condone it but when you're in that situation its very easy to justify it to yourself.


    What is there to oversimplify? The guy has a girlfriend which means he's off limits. The OP needs to move on!


    It's over simplified because emotions tend to trump logic.

    Emotions are complicated things but how you treat others is not.

    Don't be part of breaking that trust that this guys partner has in him.

    He shouldn't be doing it either.

    If he's already going behind her back do you really want to be part of that? The sort of person who does these things is not good and is not someone you want in your life.
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    Apr 30, 2014 3:02 AM GMT
    Remember you can't keep what's not yours.

    Also, remember that all roads lead to Beyonce



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    May 02, 2014 5:43 PM GMT
    It sounds like you are in India, where cultural norms are very different than in the US or England. Isn't it common for gay guys to get married (since they can't openly live with another guy), and have a gay lover? And doesn't the wife know and go along with this?

    If guys are now openly living together, and not getting married, then find one of those kind to love.
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    May 03, 2014 12:54 PM GMT
    being_human saidfor what its worth, he said he s gonna break up with his girlfriend.. which at first I was pleasantly surprised.


    Your'e being played..
    Why are you in company with this guy icon_confused.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 04, 2014 10:28 PM GMT
    being_human saidfor what its worth, he said he s gonna break up with his girlfriend.. which at first I was pleasantly surprised.
    I guess its a go now. I just answered the thread's question. :-D
    thanks y'all for the answers.


    Haha.. Sorry but a lot of closeted married men say that when in the end, they don't go through with it. They are too comfortable with their lives to do such a thing. Or if they do, they do it when they are older. Do you really want to wait that long?

    In any case, I would say don't do it because it's vile but you aren't me. You're left to do whatever you want. Just remember to accept any consequences that may result. I say "may" because I'm sure there are plenty of gay/bi men who cheat successfully on their wives/girlfriends with other dudes but I hope you know that if this guy does end up with you, who's to say he won't do the same thing to you?

    Be sure to think things through before you do anything.
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    May 07, 2014 6:05 AM GMT
    The complexity of bisexuality. But then homosexuality also has a very long history of open relationships too.