When was the most vulnerable time in your life?

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Jan 02, 2009 6:29 AM GMT
    I had made plans with my college boyfriend to move in with him prior to our sophomore year. The summer prior we were apart. He stayed up in school, I went back to my family on Long Island.
    Unknown to me, he took up with someone new over the summer and didn't tell me. We spoke a number of times over the summer but he never said a word. I found out the day I came back to school to move in with him. It was explained to me that I would be staying in the second room while he and his new boyfriend occupied the other room.

    I was 19 years old and I was devastated. He was my first love and it was heartbreaking. I stayed in his place for a week and then could not take it any more...

    Not sure why I thought about it today....haven't in a long time.

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    Jan 02, 2009 6:50 AM GMT
    when i had my first major cursh on a boy. i was like 13 he was so nice to me and really cute too.

    any ways a day after i realized i like him i when on this camping trip with all my friend from the recreation center , he was one of those friend ,i couldn't believe how much i like him.

    while we where camping i got the flue and i couldn't do anything but to sit abnd watch him play around with all the girls and i broke in side cause i like him so much i even cried. i was so weak because of my emotions and the flue .

    dam it i hate when i get emstionally vulnerably.
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    Jan 02, 2009 5:56 PM GMT
    silverfox1 saidI had made plans with my college boyfriend to move in with him prior to our sophomore year. The summer prior we were apart. He stayed up in school, I went back to my family on Long Island.
    Unknown to me, he took up with someone new over the summer and didn't tell me. We spoke a number of times over the summer but he never said a word. I found out the day I came back to school to move in with him. It was explained to me that I would be staying in the second room while he and his new boyfriend occupied the other room.

    I was 19 years old and I was devastated. He was my first love and it was heartbreaking. I stayed in his place for a week and then could not take it any more...

    Not sure why I thought about it today....haven't in a long time.



    Do you ever run into this guy at all? Was wondering if you did if it was still akward at all.

    My most vulnerable time was right after my dad died of cancer when I was in high school. My family fell apart and I had to deal with it on my own. I ended up getting taken advantage of by lots of people for years until I realized what was going on.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:03 PM GMT
    I would say, right now.

    I just started dating guys for the first time starting 6 months ago. Before that was 12 yrs of marriage and very little feelings of vulnerability prior to that.

    But since I started 'trying' to date guys, it has been disappointing. I get more attached to them then I let on - just because I don't want them to feel overwhelmed. But I also have a realism about how we mix, and while I have intense interest in the person, I can totally accept having a conversation about it working or not working and if not then that's the end. No big deal. I'll move on. My feelings will take some time to let go, but I can be an accepting adult about the transition. The relationship has to work for both of us.

    I met my wife and within three months was getting married. We lasted 12 years. My Mom and Dad were the same - but they've been married for 48 years. My Dad talked to my Mom about getting married on the second date - she thought he was crazy - but it happened. Each of my three sisters has been married for 16+ years to their first husbands. All of my Dad's 4 siblings are married long term to their first spouses. Good relationships tend to run in our family.

    To me, if a guy gets past my defenses enough to get a nice passionate kiss, then I'm probably willing to spend a couple months getting to know him before writing him off. I'll let the small stuff slide and hang in there even if it isn't all perfect. But the guys I've been with so far, judge the book by the cover and the first few paragraphs. I'm not so sure the problem is the 'book' their reading, as it is there ability to 'read' for any length of time.

    That's what frustrates me more than rejection. Premature-rejection.

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    Jan 02, 2009 7:04 PM GMT
    In terms of being a gay man? Probably in my early 30s. In life? From birth to about 23.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:07 PM GMT
    OHhiker saidThat's what frustrates me more than rejection. Premature-rejection.


    Are you sure your freezer of frozen human body parts isn't an issue?

    ...

    OK, your post is very heartfelt and deserves a serious response, which I hope to do at some point. Until then: big hugs.

    K
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jan 02, 2009 8:25 PM GMT
    Middle school is hands down the worst time for everyone. You're trying to figure out who you are and everyone is just so MEAN to everyone else. I find that every year since 8th grade it's gotten better and better for me.
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    Jan 03, 2009 1:23 AM GMT
    Oh man. . . from the fourth grade up through high school. . . my father drank himself into oblivion every night and my mother was a screaming hysterical nutcase. . . I can't begin to describe the lunacy. . . I couldn't get any help, advice, kindness or parental guidance. . . I was completely on my own and trying to cope with two crazy people. . . they went out of their way to screw up my life and make me miserable. . . it was like living in an insane asylum. . . every damn day. . . god, what a NIGHTMARE. . . so glad those days are over. . . . . . eeeeekkkkk. . . icon_cry.gif
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Jan 03, 2009 3:25 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    silverfox1 saidI had made plans with my college boyfriend to move in with him prior to our sophomore year. The summer prior we were apart. He stayed up in school, I went back to my family on Long Island.
    Unknown to me, he took up with someone new over the summer and didn't tell me. We spoke a number of times over the summer but he never said a word. I found out the day I came back to school to move in with him. It was explained to me that I would be staying in the second room while he and his new boyfriend occupied the other room.

    I was 19 years old and I was devastated. He was my first love and it was heartbreaking. I stayed in his place for a week and then could not take it any more...

    Not sure why I thought about it today....haven't in a long time.



    Do you ever run into this guy at all? Was wondering if you did if it was still akward at all.



    I saw him when I went up for my 10 year college reunion. He never moved from our college town, was still with the same guy and he put on a lot of weight.

    I had no real "pang" for him whatsoever....I kind of felt sorry for him and not sure why.
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    Jan 03, 2009 3:53 AM GMT
    Right after I popped out of my mom up to about age five because I was totally dependent on my parents for absolutely everything.

    Jesus, guys, c'mon!