A negative situation that you turned in a positive one

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2014 6:30 PM GMT
    Ever had something negative happen to you that sucked so much.........but you turned it around into something positive?

    I parked on the street in front of an office building for an appointment. I came out an the whole back of my car was caved in. (Somebody had run into it with their car, and had driven away). No note. I'm standing there pissed and shocked. Across the street I see a gardener working on the landscaping of another office building. I went over and asked him if by any chance he saw what happened? Turns out he saw a woman in a Volvo run into my empty car, then back away and speed off. He stepped into the street to watch how far she got (just a few blocks away). He pointed out the location. I went down there and saw the heavily damaged Volvo. I went inside and found the owner, and told her what I thought of her hit & run. She was shocked I found her. She was also drunk. She was also the wife of the city police chief. And finally - I forced her to pay to have my whole car fixed and completely painted at the best place I could find - one who did top quality custom classic work. And I found that gardener and tipped him $250.00 (which I made the lady pay).

    Anyway - - I made an ugly incident come out well. Have you turned around something negative and ended up with a positive result?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 01, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    Hey Gregg, KUDOS for taking the initiative!! I would think I would do something like that, but I might have been so stunned about the events, I might not have thought to ask the landscaper. Knowing me, if I had given it thought, I would have done so! When was that?

    Turning a negative into a positive is awesome for sure.
    I'll use this site as an example. I've had issues 2 or 3 times with members here, over a forum post and at first it was a negative (remarks, etc), but you take the time to talk to them and you can turn somebody who was an "aggravant" into a friend. I can think of 2 of them right now!

    Great thread!

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2014 7:40 PM GMT
    After leaving school I was studying chemistry and wanted to go into science. I failed hard at the study and took quite a while to admit to myself, that a degree would just not happen. I was devastated, but finally draged myself up, went to another school and went into engineering. The study went more than great, I love what I do and my friends who went into science mostly lead miserable work lives. Feels like I really dodged a bullet.
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    May 01, 2014 8:01 PM GMT
    Interesting experience Gregg! At my job, I deal with negatives turned positives on a daily basis. As an ICU nurse, I deal with death and dying all the time. It's such a fragile moment for both the patients and family members. However, our nursing team makes every effort to ensure that the patients are comfortable as they take their last breath. When we do this, the process elevates the families' coping and in return, they thank us for taking good care of their loved ones.



  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 01, 2014 8:11 PM GMT
    Many years ago when right wingers were protesting at gay pride with their big signs calling us sinners, there was quite a bit of yelling at the protesters that stood around with their signs. I actually sort of feared for them. So in the middle of the turmoil I walked up to the front of the lined where they were quardened off, and waved my hand and smiled said hi and I took their picture. Then I stood in front of them and smiled and started taking pictures of myself and I thanked them and they smiled. The crowd that was booing and hissing them suddenly stopped and random people and couples walked up and started doing the same and taking pictures with them. For the rest of the parade and the pridefest everyone pretty much ignored them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2014 8:13 PM GMT
    Being gay in general. It has giving me a tough skin and more empathy towards other minorities.
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    May 01, 2014 8:19 PM GMT

    Jockbod48 said, " And I found that gardener and tipped him $250.00 (which I made the lady pay)."

    lol good for you! *LIKE*
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    May 01, 2014 9:09 PM GMT
    ...Born of psychotic parents, Ive managed to sustain life for more than a half century!
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    May 01, 2014 10:55 PM GMT
    Absolutely! Of all of the things that have happened to me, I am most thankful for this one and wouldn't change a thing.

    If my first relationship in college was my best, my last one, which ended just over five years ago was undoubtedly the worst. I was with someone who cheated for the entirety of the time we were together which was just short of three years. He walked out on me once, and he became verbally very degrading toward the end. On top of it all, he was addicted to porn and was an alcoholic with unbelievable self-loathing issues. All this inside of a very pretty package. I found him drunk in an alley one night while living in Chicago and even more drunk walking into traffic on inner-Lake Shore Drive. At the end, before he left for the last time, he told me, after drinking 3/4 of a bottle of vodka, that he was just sticking around, essentially using me and he wished I would have just kicked him out. (The one thing he and my friends ever agreed on).

    In the wake of his final "walk-out" I was left in an emotional lurch. I felt like someone who had just experienced a tornado and was now surveying the wreckage of their world. I faced the reality that my world, as I had known it, was blown completely apart. I also realized I had a choice to make. I could either rebuild my life or become a victim and sink into an existence of bitterness and regret.

    I looked past him and what had happened and decided to be painfully honest with myself, all the way back to high school and I realized that his was not the worst, nor the only mess that needed cleaned up. Rather than "putting my life back together" I decided to bulldoze everything I could.

    Here's a great truth: We are all faced at some point with magnificent opportunities, brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

    For the first time in my life I decided to stop being an amalgamation of what I thought others wanted me to be. The shame that my parents, both directly and indirectly, hit me with for being gay was GONE. No more trying to be "the best little boy in the world". For nearly three years, I very aggressively worked on becoming the guy I want in my life.

    One of the high points was when I went to Walgreen's and bought a Christmas Tree and ornaments and decorated it. When I came home from the gym later and saw it all lit up, it occurred to me that this was MY home and MY Christmas Tree. I felt alive for the first time in YEARS.

    Few words are more liberating than "I was wrong and I apologize"... Especially when you say and mean them to yourself.

    My journey to me won't be complete until the day I die. I have not arrived, what's done is done and I press on to better each day. But along the way I have opened up to new people, new friends and found passion in helping others who are hurting and maybe struggling. I've worked hard for causes such as HIV, gay youth support, anti-suicide, and abandoned animals. And through it all, I discovered authentic joy. I forgave my ex, my parents, my brother and the people who had treated me cruelly in High School. I learned most of all to be grateful, to value what's worth valuing in others, to love myself and to find something to appreciate in everyone I meet.

    Had my ex not put me through what he did, none of this would ever be possible. If you're going through something awful right now - don't give up and never surrender hope.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2014 10:59 PM GMT
    I don't generally go to bars where fights can start with the testosterone factor combined with alcohol. I'm pretty big and heavily into the martial arts and work out all the time so I feel pretty confident about taking care of myself. I still try not to have an over-confident manner.

    One time I was with some friends at a bar and this guy drunk comes up to me. I assumed he was the tough guy with his friends and they challenged him to confront me. I had an idea he really didn't want a fight but was kind of pressured into it. So before he had a chance to talk trash I was all smiles, told him it was obvious he worked out and asked what exercises he did. It completely disarmed him and we had a friendly conversation. I didn't want him to lose face in front of his friends. (That's when they go out to a car and come back with a gun.) If he had persisted being aggressive, I would have used a compliance hold but as inconspicuously as possible so as to not embarrass him.

    He went back with his friends, probably told them how I complimented him. A while later he comes back, still drunk, this time embarrassed with his hand out to shake. He said, hey thanks man. I realize what you did. I said no problem. I guessed your friends egged you on and with some alcohol strange things happen. It's all good buddy.

    Actually I felt good about the situation turning a potentially bad situation into something good. Probably helped that I knew I could handle things with no problem if it had taken a different course.
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    May 01, 2014 11:01 PM GMT
    *****You're right, LionEyes - I got a lucky break with that witness. But - - - If I hadn't looked for a witness, approached him, got his information, acted on it, found the building, the car, and searched each office in that 3 story building asking who had a Volvo that worked there........and then challenged, argued with, and legally forced the perp. to pay up, I would have had to have my own insurance pay the bill to have the car repaired. You're right about luck. But I'll take some of the credit for turning this bad situation into a positive one - - - with my own perseverance and an afternoon of searching for the woman in that building - and then forcing her by threat of legal action - to take responsibility for causing $8,400 damage to a car and leaving the scene of the accident - while inebriated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 12:08 AM GMT
    I accidentally shot My 3rd Husband 17 times but with the insurance money I bought a silencer for the gun.
  • Jonno11

    Posts: 181

    May 02, 2014 1:41 AM GMT
    I was at work and mis-wired a DC system, so my negative became a positive, but alas, my positive also became a negative...icon_lol.gif

    But actually growing up, all I wanted to be was a paramedic. I studied all through high school to have the proper courses for college. I did ride-along's and all sorts of interviews. Then I was told I wouldn't be hired until I was 25. I was 19, so I took a trade, and became an Electrician. It was a job I'd never considered before, I actually hated it my last few years of training. But I got my "ticket" and passed all my exams, and am fully certified now, and I love my job. I get to work on huge projects, build some amazing things, and have a much more stable financial outlook than if I'd have gone on to be a paramedic. But deep down, part of me still wants to drive the ambulance. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    May 02, 2014 5:20 AM GMT
    The guy I was "seeing" was negative, so I made him positive. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 5:21 AM GMT
    whytehot saidThe guy I was "seeing" was negative, so I made him positive. icon_twisted.gif

    I'm surprised it took this long for someone to make this trolling post...
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    May 02, 2014 5:25 AM GMT
    RedEssence said
    whytehot saidThe guy I was "seeing" was negative, so I made him positive. icon_twisted.gif

    I'm surprised it took this long for someone to make this trolling post...


    I was in the mood for some low-hanging fruit tonight
  • KJayasuriya

    Posts: 1253

    May 02, 2014 5:41 AM GMT
    After many successful semesters in college, last semester (Fall 2013), I learned the true meaning of friendship. One of my friends (and one of her other friends)filed a complaint against me with the district police - and it was not a "light" one either. They complaint? They told the police that I wanted to shoot up the school. Obviously, such threats are not taken lightly, and they had to do an investigation to see if there was any fact behind it (which there was not). But before they even began the investigation, the Dean of Students told me in a closed meeting that she recommending I be suspended for a whole year.

    As the investigation went on, so did the events that took place. Since I was not present at school, my friend, her friend and her friend's friends started sending text messages to faculty and students telling others what they had reported. With no way to defend myself at school, many people believed. Though one may think this would not hurt - it did. I created a good name for myself in college, being a Student Ambassador and Recording Secretary for the Honor Society on campus. After the investigation was done, I was also granted a hearing in which I was able to finally able to express my concerns. A few days later, I was granted permission to come back this semester.

    While many people thought I was expelled (as that was one of the rumors that the people started spreading), I kept my head held high and I think people respect me a lot more. I am also a lot more confident and assertive to an extent. I cannot wait to graduate in a few weeks. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 5:53 AM GMT
    whytehot said
    RedEssence said
    whytehot saidThe guy I was "seeing" was negative, so I made him positive. icon_twisted.gif

    I'm surprised it took this long for someone to make this trolling post...


    I was in the mood for some low-hanging fruit tonight

    I'm guessing his fruit would be hanging SERIOUSLY low... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 6:14 AM GMT
    Negative: Home invasion instigated by an obsessive ex-fb where I was beat to shit and died briefly while the paramedics worked on me.

    Positive: Sent BOTH their asses to prison. (The ex and the guy that thought it was a good idea to act in his behalf.)
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    May 02, 2014 6:38 AM GMT
    I'll talk about a negative few years for me, that looking back, may have changed me for the better, big time.

    I was mugged when I was 14; robbed and punched hard several times by two guys in Brooklyn. It was 1 AM on a Saturday night and I was out with two friends, high on pot. The pot made the experience about 100x scarier for me, so I wound up having a panic attack when it happened. For months after, I was paranoid about being in public. I shut down my life as I knew it. Eventually I got over it and started creeping back to normalcy; hanging out with someone here and there, being able to ride the subway without my heart pounding. But right around this time I started realizing my same-sex attractions. When it rains it pours - LOL!

    Anyway, from around ages 14-17, I became rather reclusive, a stark change from my loud, talkative nature. It may have been for the best. I started out as an immature clown and I left high school one of the most mature people in my class. I attribute that to all of the time I spent alone, thinking all the time to myself about who I am, and who I wanted to be.

    Looking back at my teen years, I was always questioning "why me" -- why did I have to get mugged and feel nervous in public? Why do I have to be gay and different from everyone around me? Why do I like guys older than me and not ones my age? In those four years I spent mostly alone, I very slowly started to accept who I was and am, and that there would be no changing that. I could either embrace myself, or try to be someone I was not.

    I've chosen to embrace myself; I've been out since 17 and I have a very good social life now. I don't know how I would have developed as an adolescent if it weren't for that first mugging that started my downward spiral, but I'm very content now at age 20.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 02, 2014 6:10 PM GMT
    KJayasuriya saidAfter many successful semesters in college, last semester (Fall 2013), I learned the true meaning of friendship. One of my friends (and one of her other friends)filed a complaint against me with the district police -...
    Woah. You have grounds for a lawsuit. icon_eek.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 02, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidI've chosen to embrace myself; I've been out since 17 and I have a very good social life now. I don't know how I would have developed as an adolescent if it weren't for that first mugging that started my downward spiral, but I'm very content now at age 20.
    It's an understandable question. For sure we are shaped by our experiences to an extent. But I also believe that some qualities are innate but may only come forward in certain circumstances. IOW, I suspect you'd still have turned out a good guy even if that hadn't happened.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 02, 2014 6:23 PM GMT
    I have had *so many* situations in my life, I wouldn't even know where to begin? My growing up in less than ideal circumstances, my first male partner's death, the second male partner's slip into insanity, my best friend's suicide, loosing my art studio that I'd lived in for over 20 years--which meant having to give up my painting (at least for the time being)… and much else.

    The things that have saved me are having a support network and having the ability to adjust my inner and outer life to difficult circumstances. I fall down but with a bit of help I also pick myself up and keep moving!
  • KJayasuriya

    Posts: 1253

    May 02, 2014 7:43 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    KJayasuriya saidAfter many successful semesters in college, last semester (Fall 2013), I learned the true meaning of friendship. One of my friends (and one of her other friends)filed a complaint against me with the district police -...
    Woah. You have grounds for a lawsuit. icon_eek.gif


    I know that I can sue for slander and defamation of character (but those cases are really hard to prove). Also, I am not the suing type (and no, I am not a woos)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 8:08 PM GMT
    I killed a whole fraternity and staged the scene so that it looked like an inside murder/suicide job. It was all very intricate, and the cops fell for it.

    Learning and growing!