Relationships and Respect

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2014 10:17 PM GMT
    So, I'm on a little mini vacation and I met this guy in the casino today. He was... a little on the pushy side, which isn't too unusual as I seem to draw the type.

    What got me was that when I told him I'm taken, his answer was "That's okay. I just want to suck your dick."

    *BLINKS*

    Now, I'm pretty sure "I'm taken" is self explanatory, especially since I'd already turned him down once. And in all honesty? I'd really just like to know how him giving me a BJ doesn't count as cheating, because if someone gave Gid a blowjob? I'd be PISSED OFF. 1) That they disrespected me and my relationship enough after he told them he's taken to do it anyway and, 2) because Gid let them.

    It's not the first time I've run into this, though. And it got me to wonder...

    Where does this come from?

    Is it the whole "I'm hot so you should want me no matter who you're with" thing? Or is it something else?

    And... on a second note. Would -you- consider a bj to be cheating if you were and/or are with someone monogamously?
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    May 01, 2014 10:19 PM GMT
    TwisttheLeaf said

    It's not the first time I've run into this, though. And it got me to wonder...

    Where does this come from?


    He wants to do you and doesn't really care about your moral compass.

    TwisttheLeaf saidAnd... on a second note. Would -you- consider a bj to be cheating if you were and/or are with someone monogamously?


    Of course.
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    May 01, 2014 10:21 PM GMT
    I'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.
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    May 01, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    xavier92 saidI'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.


    I'm actually asking a sincere question, man. One that has nothing at all to do with Gid other than he's my SO.
  • Farmboy8

    Posts: 88

    May 01, 2014 11:45 PM GMT
    YES, I would most certainly consider a blowjob cheating.
    This dude clearly doesn't give a crap about what that or your relationship with Gid mean to you....all he's concerned with are the few moments of pleasure AND more importantly the tremendous ego boost for him because you just couldn't resist his offer. He's a real stud!!
    The satisfaction is knowing that living with that mindset will only lead to him being a very hollow and lonely guy.
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    May 01, 2014 11:51 PM GMT
    Obviously this approach actually works for the guy a significant portion of the time or he wouldn't be using it. Some Guys just cast a wide net and wait to see what they catch.

    It doesn't matter what anyone else considers to be cheating - what matters is what You and Your SO agree upon.
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    May 01, 2014 11:53 PM GMT
    TwisttheLeaf said
    xavier92 saidI'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.


    I'm actually asking a sincere question, man. One that has nothing at all to do with Gid other than he's my SO.


    Surely you know by now, this queen is just a troll. He never has anything positive to add to a conversation.

    Anyway....is a blowjob cheating? That depends entirely upon what you and your boyfriend have agreed upon. If the two of you have decided oral sex is okay but no anal, then no, it is not cheating. Each couple has different boundaries, therefore it's only cheating if you go outside those agreed upon rules.
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    May 01, 2014 11:58 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    TwisttheLeaf said
    xavier92 saidI'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.


    I'm actually asking a sincere question, man. One that has nothing at all to do with Gid other than he's my SO.


    Surely you know by now, this queen is just a troll. He never has anything positive to add to a conversation.

    Anyway....is a blowjob cheating? That depends entirely upon what you and your boyfriend have agreed upon. If the two of you have decided oral sex is okay but no anal, then no, it is not cheating. Each couple has different boundaries, therefore it's only cheating if you go outside those agreed upon rules.


    That is the glue that has kept Me and Scruffy together all these years.

    We agree that I am allowed to do what ever I want and He is occasionally allowed to look at very ugly Men.
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    May 02, 2014 12:19 AM GMT
    TwisttheLeaf said

    his answer was "That's okay. I just want to suck your dick."

    Where does this come from?

    Is it the whole "I'm hot so you should want me no matter who you're with" thing?

    It probably has nothing to do with him thinking he is "so hot." He might just like sucking dick, and it might not matter who the dick is attached to. Imagine him in a john, a park, or the baths, where if he were lucky, he could suck a succession of them. And there are some guys who appreciate their dicks getting sucked by random strangers - he was hoping you were one of them. The gay world has within it all types. You just met one unfamiliar to you.
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    May 02, 2014 12:54 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    TwisttheLeaf said
    xavier92 saidI'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.


    I'm actually asking a sincere question, man. One that has nothing at all to do with Gid other than he's my SO.


    Surely you know by now, this queen is just a troll. He never has anything positive to add to a conversation.

    Anyway....is a blowjob cheating? That depends entirely upon what you and your boyfriend have agreed upon. If the two of you have decided oral sex is okay but no anal, then no, it is not cheating. Each couple has different boundaries, therefore it's only cheating if you go outside those agreed upon rules.


    Actually, Scruffy, his question was, " Would -you- consider a bj to be cheating if you were and/or are with someone monogamously?"
    BJs with strangers is not monogamy, even if you both agree to it, as by agreeing to that makes it an open relationship, not a monogamous one.. icon_wink.gif
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    May 02, 2014 1:03 AM GMT
    I was in the beginning of what might have been a relationship but was mostly at that point just hot and heavy sex. The guy was fucking stunning, perfect bod, perfect face, unbelievably passionate. Too young for me, normally, but we just clicked. Then I think it was on about our third time together he fesses up that he's in a supposed monogamous relationship. Well, that ended that immediately.

    It was not out of respect for the boyfriend who let this incredible creature go unsatisfied sexually that he had to fuck around behind his back. Fuck him, honestly. These were two people who were hurting each other as far as I was concerned, not just the guy supposedly cheating to satisfy himself as he never would have had to cheat on me. I'd have made sure he was happy even that meant bringing in more men for him. Did I mention he was fucking stunning?

    Why I stopped it was out of respect for myself, that I did not want to be a knowing participant in that deception.

    Similarly, someone who would continue the affair with that knowledge of the cheating isn't necessarily disrespecting your relationship. In such a case, they don't even consider it to disrespect. Likely that part's all in your head.
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    May 02, 2014 3:18 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Scruffypup said
    TwisttheLeaf said
    xavier92 saidI'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.


    I'm actually asking a sincere question, man. One that has nothing at all to do with Gid other than he's my SO.


    Surely you know by now, this queen is just a troll. He never has anything positive to add to a conversation.

    Anyway....is a blowjob cheating? That depends entirely upon what you and your boyfriend have agreed upon. If the two of you have decided oral sex is okay but no anal, then no, it is not cheating. Each couple has different boundaries, therefore it's only cheating if you go outside those agreed upon rules.


    Actually, Scruffy, his question was, " Would -you- consider a bj to be cheating if you were and/or are with someone monogamously?"
    BJs with strangers is not monogamy, even if you both agree to it, as by agreeing to that makes it an open relationship, not a monogamous one.. icon_wink.gif


    I answered his question. You're just nit picking and being difficult. But let me spell it out for you since my answer was so difficult for you to comprehend: YES. If you have an agreement to be monogamous with someone, any type of sexual contact would be cheating. I elaborated for him so that if he decided he wanted to be able to have oral sex outside of his relationship, he could always ask his boyfriend if he would agree to that.
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    May 02, 2014 3:21 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    meninlove said
    Scruffypup said
    TwisttheLeaf said
    xavier92 saidI'm starting to suspect that there is no such thing as Gideon and it's all in your head.


    I'm actually asking a sincere question, man. One that has nothing at all to do with Gid other than he's my SO.


    Surely you know by now, this queen is just a troll. He never has anything positive to add to a conversation.

    Anyway....is a blowjob cheating? That depends entirely upon what you and your boyfriend have agreed upon. If the two of you have decided oral sex is okay but no anal, then no, it is not cheating. Each couple has different boundaries, therefore it's only cheating if you go outside those agreed upon rules.


    Actually, Scruffy, his question was, " Would -you- consider a bj to be cheating if you were and/or are with someone monogamously?"
    BJs with strangers is not monogamy, even if you both agree to it, as by agreeing to that makes it an open relationship, not a monogamous one.. icon_wink.gif


    I answered his question. You're just nit picking and being difficult. But let me spell it out for you since my answer was so difficult for you to comprehend: YES. If you have an agreement to be monogamous with someone, any type of sexual contact would be cheating. I elaborated for him so that if he decided he wanted to be able to have oral sex outside of his relationship, he could always ask his boyfriend if he would agree to that.


    *not
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
    A blow-job is not cheating if you close your eyes Hello!!

    See ...
    My comment is almost as ridiculous as the question.. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 03, 2014 5:09 PM GMT
    TwisttheLeaf saidWhere does this come from?

    Is it the whole "I'm hot so you should want me no matter who you're with" thing? Or is it something else?


    That's just how guys think. Guys like what's bad and dirty. If they can get a committed guy to turn, even better for ego.

    I used to have a friend that loved going for what was unobtainable and off-limits. For him, it was about the chase, the tension, and the build-up. He would love to make friends with straight guys - just to watch them workout. Eventually, he'd ask them if they'd mind jerking it in front of him. Once he got what he wanted from the few that gave in, it was off and onto the next thrilling rush of excitement and endorphins. Like vodka to the alcoholic; he always needs his fix.

    The lack of respect could also be jealousy/resentment for having a gay relationship (that isn't as open and ambiguous as they seem to be becoming) while he doesn't have anything (beyond blowing strangers at the casino). Although, I wouldn't be too surprised if he had a boyfriend at home himself.

    In short, I'd say arrogance and selfishness, potentially with a bit of addiction (appropriate, given the venue).

    TwisttheLeaf saidAnd... on a second note. Would -you- consider a bj to be cheating if you were and/or are with someone monogamously?


    Yes, I'd be livid. Burn his clothes icon_twisted.gif .