How would you react? (HIV related)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 2:33 AM GMT
    This is 2014 and the percentage of HIV infections among gays keep increasing (gay men are 60 times more likely to contract the virus than straight men and 54 times more likely than women). Even with all the improvements in meds HIV is still a nasty disease, very expensive to handle and once you get it you'll have to deal with it for life.

    With all the information about prevention around we would think it's common sense to always use a condom in hook ups specially when/if having sex with poz men. Yet there are some posters in RJ that say it's safe to engage in bareback sex with HIV+ men when their viral load in the blood is 0.

    Now it's a fact HIV is not only present in blood but also in semen and other fluids so there are still chances to catch the bug through it. The posters in RJ who advocate this behavior are HIV+ themselves.

    So let me ask you something:

    If you meet a guy like this in RL and he tells you "look Im HIV+ but my viral load is 0 so you're likely not to catch anything, let's bareback". How would you react? Would you go ahead and do it? Reject the invitation? Ask him to use a condom?

    Given the alarming rate of infections in the gay community it seems this topic needs more awareness.
    (Notice this thread is aimed at hook ups and not LTR when both partners are well aware of each others situations.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 2:36 AM GMT
    I would obviously say no. No offense to HIV + guys but there are plenty of HIV - dudes out there. No thanks.
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    May 02, 2014 2:48 AM GMT
    David3K said
    So let me ask you something:

    If you meet a guy like this in RL and he tells you "look Im HIV+ but my viral load is 0 so you're likely not to catch anything, let's bareback". How would you react? Would you go ahead and do it? Reject the invitation? Ask him to use a condom?


    Answer with a 'hell no' and run the other way.

    Although not currently single, that would have been my answer when I was.

    Reasoning.... He clearly wants to bareback. I doubt he's going to stop wanting it any time soon, whether I give it to him or he decides to keep looking on the side while he's with me.

    Either way, I'm at the losing end of this equation.

    If HIV+ want to bareback? Do it with another HIV+. I know, maybe it doesn't feel all that 'fair' to those with HIV to say that, but the fact is that HIV --is-- more prevalent among gay males than heteros or women and there's a reason for that. Maybe that means a little more caution is warranted, yeah?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 2:51 AM GMT
    No glove, no love.
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    May 02, 2014 2:54 AM GMT
    The thing that makes people reckless is that, for all the bullshit they tell you, doing it bareback really does feel different, and much better, than doing it with a condom.
    Not worth your life, though.
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    May 02, 2014 2:54 AM GMT
    I would just walk away.
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    May 02, 2014 2:55 AM GMT
    ElectroShark saidThe thing that makes people reckless is that, for all the bullshit they tell you, doing it bareback really does feel different, and much better, than doing it with a condom.
    Not worth your life, though.

    +1 Trillion!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 2:56 AM GMT
    woodsmen saidThis is why am in my long term relationship. No need.

    Hopefully, it's because you love him with all your heart and not just sexually convenient.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    May 02, 2014 2:56 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidNo glove, no love.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 2:57 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidNo glove, no love.


    On hookups there is no love always.
  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    May 02, 2014 2:59 AM GMT
    Sweetooth saidI would just walk away.


    exactly, if he's that depraved and selfish, why bother acknowledging him
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    May 02, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    David3K saidThis is 2014 and the percentage of HIV infections among the gays keep increasing (gay men are 60 times more likely to contract the virus than straight men and 54 times more likely than women). Even with all the improvements in meds HIV is still a nasty disease and very expensive to handle. And once you get it you'll have to deal with it for life.

    With all the information about prevention around you would think it's common sense to always use a condom in hook ups specially when having sex with poz men. Yet there are some posters in RJ that write in favor of engaging in sex with HIV+ men when their viral load is 0.

    Now it's a fact HIV is not only present in blood but also in semen and other fluids, so even if the viral load in blood is undetectable there are still chances to catch the bug through semen. The guys in RJ who speak like this -while giving a handful of other reasons of why it's OK to bareback with poz men- are HIV+ themselves.

    So let me ask you something:

    If you meet a guy like this in RL and he tells you "look Im HIV+ but my viral load is 0 so you're likely not to catch anything, let's bareback". How would you react? Would you go ahead and do it? Reject the invitation? Ask him to use a condom?

    (Notice this thread is aimed at hook ups and not LTR when both partners are well aware of each others situations.)


    How can I say this... And excuse my rambling and mild incoherency (I need to get something done), but I believe HIV science is bunk, but anyways, you should not seek to sleep with a "formerly HIV positive" person simply because this person is likely a carrier of hundreds of other sexually related viruses (THAT CLINICS DO NOT TEST FOR, OR HAVE AVAILABLE TESTS AT ALL FOR) that will impair your body's ability to fight future infections and other viruses (as you would be creating immune responses and antibodies to deal with these viruses already), even if you would be asymptomatic for the viruses you would be inheriting. A simple kiss beyond the lips would be more than enough to transfer most of those viruses. In the next couple of years even, I suspect that bacteria not traditionally known as sexual infections, and of which have acquired drug resistance, will likely make an appearance among gays at first and at substantial rates higher than straights, enough to qualify such bacterial infections as STDs, as simple skin to skin contact, and not just the sexual kind is enough to transfer these otherwise drug resistant bacteria (like all other forms of bacteria), but the transfer of such bacteria happened during the commission of gay sex, so I guess that qualifies as an STD or STI, whatever bacterial infection it would be... But anyways, abstinence is your best way to avoid having to deal with sexually related MRSA or any future strain of drug resistant syphilis or gonorrhea.
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    May 02, 2014 3:28 AM GMT
    ElectroShark saidThe thing that makes people reckless is that, for all the bullshit they tell you, doing it bareback really does feel different, and much better, than doing it with a condom.
    Not worth your life, though.
    Ah sorry. I had the same partner for 5 years…obviously we stoped using condoms at one point….I honestly feel no difference between condoms and bareback. Actually condoms in my opinion make it better with pre-lubed and special condoms…..

    Also due to my heart disease and the fact that I will probably need more heart surgeries in the future I am very paranoid by it and would polietly say "sorry" and walk away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 3:29 AM GMT
    http://www.imstilljosh.com/fda-condoms-not-approved-anal-sex/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 3:31 AM GMT
    xavier92 saidhttp://www.imstilljosh.com/fda-condoms-not-approved-anal-sex/
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 3:33 AM GMT
    I doubt any HIV+ guy would put his lover's life at risk by asking them to go bareback. The only possible way this would ever happen is if BOTH are HIV+.
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    May 02, 2014 3:34 AM GMT
    hellass saidI doubt any HIV+ guy would put his lover's life at risk by asking them to go bareback. The only possible way this would ever happen is if BOTH are HIV+.
    I used to think the same way then you, until I read many posts and threads created by some HIV+ members in this forum.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2014 3:38 AM GMT
    I'd say no and say it very easily. Even with a negative guy, I'd have to trust him a lot and be in a relationship to even go unprotected.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 02, 2014 4:34 AM GMT
    I'd say "Likely? What do you mean likely?"
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    May 02, 2014 4:38 AM GMT
    A lot of HIV+ guys, if they had their way, would rather see everyone be positive, so that they won't be as marginalized... so don't count on them to keep you uninfected. I just treat everyone like they're positive anyway. The thought of feces is enough for me to happily forgo any perceived pleasure from barebacking.
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    May 02, 2014 4:51 AM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidA lot of HIV+ guys, if they had their way, would rather see everyone be positive, so that they won't be as marginalized... so don't count on them to keep you uninfected.


    Tell you what, you delete this and I'll delete this quote of it.

    Yes it's that horrible, untrue, and I suspect there is some personal story behind such a statement.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1165

    May 02, 2014 5:24 AM GMT
    ^It's not PC, but he's right. It's bad enough there are tons of bug-chasers out there, but the gift-givers are essentially assisting suicide.
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    May 02, 2014 6:02 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    theonewhoknocks saidA lot of HIV+ guys, if they had their way, would rather see everyone be positive, so that they won't be as marginalized... so don't count on them to keep you uninfected.


    Tell you what, you delete this and I'll delete this quote of it.

    Yes it's that horrible, untrue, and I suspect there is some personal story behind such a statement.


    Nope, mostly anecdotal evidence from real life, some common sense about people's motives, oh and a lot of those "zero viral load" posts from that poz guy uckbasa or whatever his name is icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2014 10:17 AM GMT
    I would say have a nice day and move on. But at the end of the 1980's I had a sexual relationship with a guy for about two years, and everything I had witnessed first hand during the Gay Plague Era. I was to ask him about being HIV + or -, and I was lead to believe he was HIV -, and after some time he promoted unsafe sex, and the sex was freaking hot.

    It was not until after I moved back to the city and been here for a few years that I was to find out not only had he died of AIDS, but he had also lied about being HIV-, and he promoted unsafe sex. But I am still HIV- all these years latter.
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    May 03, 2014 10:25 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    woodsmen saidThis is why am in my long term relationship. No need.

    Hopefully, it's because you love him with all your heart and not just sexually convenient.


    After what I have survived, I am grateful that the issue of HIV is now in my past, and so are the blood tests, as there just is no need, and after 20+ years together we have more going for us than convenient sex.