coming out, how did ur brother(s) Sister(s) react?

  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Jan 02, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    Hey,

    We all know the stories about how parents respond to ur coming out.
    I never read stories about what ur brother(s) or sister(s) thought of it.
    Im not out and I have a brother and a sister. Thats why I am wondering.
    And how about the rest of the family? Like ur grandma... I dont think mine will understand....

    anyway.. i was just wondering and fishing for stories.

    tnx for ur reactions
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 4:32 PM GMT
    My brother passed out on my bed from shock... then went downstairs and cried while I slept.
    He's now pretty much distant.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jan 02, 2009 4:35 PM GMT
    I have an older brother that had just joined the army at the time I came out to my parents. There was a lot of tension between my parents and myself for the first few days, and my brother asked me why. I came out to him and told him that was the reason for the tension. He was cool with it.

    Turns out, weeks before, he was practicing with his Butt Phone (yeah...that's the actual name...he was a linemen in the army) and tapped into a phone call I was having with my boyfriend at the time.
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    Jan 02, 2009 6:16 PM GMT
    My brother was lying in intensive care at the time and could not respond to the letter I sent. He never did get back to me if he had issues, but nothing changed between us so I guess he was cool with it. In terms of social issues he is quite liberal.

    My sisters were both very supportive. Again they are both social liberals so I would have been surprised if they had reacted negatively.

    I have been very lucky with my family and how they have dealt with both my sexual orientation and my HIV status. I do not have a lot of friends or a support network outside of my partner, so my family's acceptance is very important to me.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:09 PM GMT
    From what I've seen and heard, most of the time, your siblings figure out you're gay before you tell them. I think it's because they spend so much time with you growing up.

    My brother knew I was gey when I was in high school. When I came out to him when I was 21, he told me that he had been waiting for years for me to tell him. He said he almost asked me in high school several times, but knew I would have reacted badly, because I went to Catholic school and there was the stigma that I grew up with. He's been very supportive. He took me to a gay club in China when I visited him last summer.

    So to the OP, I'd say you have a good chances of a warm reception by coming out to your sister/brother. It's up to you though, you know them best.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:11 PM GMT
    My only sister hates me for being gay and we haven't spoken in 12 years.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    My brother is two years younger than me. He was told when he was 16 and was instantly cool with it - complete non-issue to him then and now, has always gotten along very well with my partner, etc. I'm fortunate, as he's one of the most thoughtful and mellow guys I know.
  • joggerva

    Posts: 731

    Jan 02, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    I grew up hearing my brother make jokes and use fag as a pretty common put down. He's never really been religious or political, so I wasn't all that sure about his beliefs. When I came out to him, he seemed genuinely surprised and confused, but he said that the important thing is that I'm his brother, and he'd love me no matter what.

    Later he even remembered the jokes and stuff he said as a kid and apologised - I hadn't really given it a second thought, but I found that to be really touching. We've never been closer, and he's even gone to gay bars with me and his girlfriend. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:19 PM GMT
    It was like my brother won the lottery...

    He flunked out of high school...ended up in community college which he dropped out of it. Became a grungy pot-head

    He was a complete failure at life in my farther's eyes, who decided to put all the pressure on me, his one good son


    .....but at least he liked girls and wasn't going to die of aids and rot in hell icon_sad.gif

    I remember riding next to him on the train and my brother went up to where my farther was sitting and told them I was reading a gay magazine, right there out in the open where everyone could see...

    He was 26 and I was 18 icon_neutral.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:22 PM GMT


    For you guys that had a rough time of it,











    imagine if it had been more like this!
  • Nicobx15

    Posts: 54

    Jan 02, 2009 7:23 PM GMT
    My sister smiled (we both had tears in our eyes)...she hugged me for what seemed like an hour (probably all of a minute) and she said, what to me was amazing!, -----> she said, "I'm so excited! Now I get to know about you and your life!"

    We talked for hours....


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 7:37 PM GMT
    Well after I cam out 2 out of 3 of my sisters came out as well...So I had no real problems in thier reactions..Whole family accepted it
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Jan 02, 2009 7:51 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    For you guys that had a rough time of it,











    imagine if it had been more like this!


    This is hilarious.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 8:00 PM GMT
    My sister said, "Me too, but don't tell anyone, I'm not ready yet." She's been a lesbian with a motorbike since about a year after I came out.

    My brother cried. I suspect it was guilt. You can only call your brother a fag for so long before it becomes true, I guess. icon_smile.gif After the crying, there were no problems.

    We're all good friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 8:12 PM GMT
    My sister cried because she figured she'd never have a nephew or niece. My brother didn't really talk about it. He was accepting, but in a manner that indicated that I was brave to have admitted such a terrible flaw.
  • TallSoCal

    Posts: 321

    Jan 02, 2009 8:14 PM GMT
    My brother and sister were cool with it. I thought they knew anyway, but I confirmed it. They may have just had their suspicions, but I wanted to just get it over with and just tell them. I had a few shots so I'd be easier. Haha. Call me a coward. Call me clever. Either way, it's done, and they still love me regardless. That was last Feb. We're all still really cool, but we haven't talked about it since. So yeah.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 8:27 PM GMT
    my sisters didn't care.. brother Im not sure since my big mouthed sister told him, but, after a few years when I got to see him again (we weren't what you'd call super close) he was fine with it..

    My relationship now with my brother is heaps better then its ever been, we actually hang out often icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 9:16 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    For you guys that had a rough time of it,



    imagine if it had been more like this!

    Brain Candy wasn't a terribly good movie, but the gay segments, with the only out gay actor in the Kids in the Hall ensemble, Scott Thompson, were funny. I especially enjoyed when this father character here went to see a psychologist while still in denial. I don't have the script to quote, but the psychologist trying to convince "Bob" that he's really gay goes something like this:

    "You're gay, Bob. Your wife knows you're gay, your kids know you're gay, your DOG knows you're gay!" That line always cracks me up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    My brother's response was "Duh" lol
  • PhillyGinger

    Posts: 35

    Jan 02, 2009 10:05 PM GMT
    My brother and sister are 5 years younger than me, so they are in a generation that is generally not phased by the whole gay thing. They were completely fine and very supportive when I told them, and it was not a surprise to either of them.
  • TigerFrank

    Posts: 11

    Jan 02, 2009 10:15 PM GMT
    My older (10yrs) sister was totally cool with it. My other sister who is a year younger than me was afraid that if her son (12yrs old) hung around me he would become gay. And she's a lawyer. I apologize for being raised in Alabama.

    My older sis worked on her for about a year and a half (I wouldn't speak to her) and now she's cool with it. Me and my partner (ex now) just went there before Christmas and things were good with the family.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Jan 02, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
    Only one brother (sibling) and he did not handle it very well. My parents did much better
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 10:29 PM GMT
    My brother and I are BEST friends. I mean the best of bestest friends. I love him so much and I wish I could live near him. I am so damn fortunate to have a great man like him.

    Anywho, I came out to him and my sister-in-law and I just said:

    Me: I just wanted to let you both know that I am gay.
    SIL: Okay
    Brother:
    Me: I'm gay dave
    Brother:

    <4-5seconds which felt like a good year>

    Me: Dave, nothing magical is going to happen
    Brother: Good, so I wanna go golfing, want to come? I don't want to be put with a random group.
    Me: No, you know how bad I am at golf.
    Brother: Ya, I hoping this whole gay thing would have made you better.


    We never talk about "it" but no need. If they ever have questions I am here to answer. I am thankful to be a member of a family with an extremely intelligent brother and sister.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    Hahahaha - it went well. They always knew there was something different about me - "gifted" or "artistic" were a couple of adjectives I heard. When I told them it was no big deal - - - - - they'd seen gay people all over San Francisco and the whole world all their lives - so it just stood to reason that our family deserved at least one! To my parents, it gave them one more interesting topic at their dinner parties.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    My sister's fine as long as I don't comment on cute guys around her. Being the younger brother I make sure to let her know whenever I see something I like. icon_lol.gif