Have you ever experienced a dramatic shift in who you find attractive?

  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    May 04, 2014 12:46 AM GMT
    I know I have. Over the course of the last few years since graduating college I've come to find that I find some older men attractive. Perhaps it's simply because I've gotten away from the college scene which is almost completely young people and I'm in the work force now, dealing with (generally) more responsible, self-confident, professional middle-aged people.

    I mean, I still find some people my age attractive, but before this shift I would probably never have looked twice at a man over 30 or 40 out of principle.
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    May 04, 2014 1:11 AM GMT
    I think it's pretty normal for what you find attractive to change and/or expand as you get older and mature.

    I know when I was younger I had a pretty narrow view of what attractive is in a man. I found body hair gross for starters. Only really liked classically good looking guys (ie. what you'd find in a magazine) and as with you I much preferred guys my own age.

    As I've gotten older I now find body hair a turn on and prefer a guy to have some character about his looks as opposed to the perfection many seem to want to attain.

    Also age is no longer as much of a barrier, unless the difference is pretty extreme. Even though I am pushing into your over 30s "older men" category now ;)

    I've no doubt attraction will continue to change as the years pass.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 04, 2014 1:11 AM GMT
    I'm often surprised by who I find attractive and there are different kinds of attraction, too. I don't have a single physical 'type' except in a general sort of way. The more superficial attraction is purely visual. That can easily go away (or become stronger) once I get a 'feel' for someone. Conversely, someone may not strike me at first glance but become more attractive as I get to know them. Where this all goes, for me, is whether or not I want to touch and be touched by someone rather than just look at them. And by 'touch' I mean become physically enmeshed. Go beyond the boundaries of the physical flesh.
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    May 04, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
    Rhi_Bran saidbefore this shift I would probably never have looked twice at a man over 30 or 40 out of principle.

    LOL. Exactly what principle was involved here?
  • Twistsstick

    Posts: 14

    May 04, 2014 1:35 AM GMT
    Well mine has absolutely nothing to do with age, I don't think. Though I can say after meeting and becoming involved with Twist, my tastes have changed a bit.

    I still think hot is hot, but I have developed a very -deep- appreciation for asian men...especially those who in someway resemble my boy(but damn Jae Joong is FINE) So give me asian, lean with just that hint of a baby face and I'm THERE

    *Chuckles*

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    May 04, 2014 1:39 AM GMT
    ElectroShark said
    Rhi_Bran saidbefore this shift I would probably never have looked twice at a man over 30 or 40 out of principle.

    LOL. Exactly what principle was involved here?


    Possibly that exposure = appreciation that he didn't have previously? I've noticed that sometimes in myself.
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    May 04, 2014 4:19 AM GMT
    When I was younger I use to prefer white guys. My earliest crushes were white guys. I still find some white guys attractive but now I prefer black guys by a wide margin. A white guy would have to be much better looking than a similar looking black guy to get my attention. I'm sure this change happened a while ago but I have only recently noticed due to me going back into the dating pool.
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    May 04, 2014 6:22 AM GMT
    I consider myself lucky to have worked in fields where I had experiences with visually-attractive stars and models. So during work, I tolerated many of their less than polite personalities off-camera which changes how I see an attractive performer now. Don't get me wrong: I still enjoy watching "attractive" people on movies or TV, but I don't care to see them in real life. icon_biggrin.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 04, 2014 6:31 AM GMT
    I have found that I lost my youthful naivety, everyone upon scrutiny seems no more or less than average. And I have found that for some good looking people if they have a bad personality it can make them ugly
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    May 04, 2014 8:00 AM GMT
    Hot is hot doesn't matter what it is that does it they just are to you.

    What we find attractive changes over time as we get older, develop experience in life and generally grow as people.

    As I've gotten older my list of "requirements" to be hot has gotten far far smaller. Nice smile, something about their eyes, a good laugh and a good sense of self acceptance or at least a willingness to develop that self acceptance.
  • tristan36

    Posts: 69

    May 04, 2014 9:36 AM GMT

    Yep, I used to go for guys of my own age and style when I was in my twenties.

    Now, it's all about the fit, hairy alpha males! icon_wink.gif

    Maturity has become much more important as well, rather than a handsome face.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    May 04, 2014 10:09 AM GMT
    Nope, except lifting age differences. Plenty of attractive guys in their twenties, thirties, forties, or fifties. Still like the same type of guys. Still like them big in some regard (stocky or tall).
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    May 04, 2014 2:06 PM GMT
    think in terms of who you are an what you can bring to the table. What is missing? Look for a mate that completes the household so the both of you add up to more than 2.0

    A college man might not take this approach.
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    May 05, 2014 12:15 PM GMT
    I have always found as a general rule men more attractive and always been more comfortable looking at men (makes my sexuality what it is) but having grown up and never having "been" with any man and especially men/lads of my age and ages of growing up i still find my age attractive yet i feel i would be more comfortable with a older man as i feel scared and or more nervous having my "first times" with someone my age.
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    May 05, 2014 4:42 PM GMT
    It's all dynamic depending on your preference at any given time. In the end, I think it's more about the person for the long term stuff but for the short term fun, it's dynamic and changes as you change. Your outlook, your environment, societies acceptance of physical attributes, they all play a part.
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    May 05, 2014 10:51 PM GMT
    Yes and No, I still find guys who I had crushes on in HS/College to be hot (Cute American type). I guess my taste change during the season Lol. But yeah, Look gets me interested, Personality is key. I mean, who wants to be with a dumb pretty boy with no life goals or directions? Lol
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    May 06, 2014 10:46 AM GMT
    Has anyone considered the role that geographic location can play? For example, I think having lived in New York City for the past two years has really shaped and influenced my view on who I find to be attractive.
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    May 06, 2014 4:27 PM GMT
    cityguy12309 saidHas anyone considered the role that geographic location can play? For example, I think having lived in New York City for the past two years has really shaped and influenced my view on who I find to be attractive.

    How? In a good way or in a bad way? What were your preferences before and how did that change?
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    May 06, 2014 8:47 PM GMT
    cityguy12309 saidHas anyone considered the role that geographic location can play? For example, I think having lived in New York City for the past two years has really shaped and influenced my view on who I find to be attractive.


    Yes Geography plays a huge part. I dated mostly Asian and White guys in the past. But Lately, I really like Latino/Spanish/Mexican guys to be hot. Being in LA, it has a huge Latino community. icon_smile.gif Lol after a while I can't tell his ethnicity anymore but yeah I kinda want a future Latin boyfriend. I've been wanting to go to Brasil and Spain for the longest time too (to see Bull-Fighting). icon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gif
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    May 07, 2014 1:55 AM GMT
    tumblr_mwfd5fj2Ne1ry6msio1_400.gif

    ^ ^ ^ ^
    This is my new neighbor.. icon_eek.gif

    How are you Rhi??