The Broken Hearts Club

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    May 08, 2014 7:22 PM GMT
    What is your best solution for a broken heart, and does it apply to all ages?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS7CiL8MNb0
    Joy Division, "Love Will Tear Us Apart", 1979
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    May 08, 2014 7:30 PM GMT
    When ever i experience my first relationship i dont think if they broke my heart it would be any worse than i am now so i think i have a head start.
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    May 12, 2014 1:22 PM GMT
    so yea, I just got out of a relationship that ws going great.
    I wanna get drunk n pass out but instead im depressed and watching the news. heart breaks are messy.
    if I were to advice, id say go travel a bit. surround yourself with new people. but dont look at me... im not doing that healthy shit.
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    May 12, 2014 2:42 PM GMT
    time heals all wounds, time best hurry up tho cus its been 6 months for me n i still feel like shit about it
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    May 12, 2014 2:46 PM GMT
    5 years later I still feel hurt and kinda betrayed/angry so I don't necessarily have a long term solution but in the short terms I keep my mind that off it and it works.
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    May 12, 2014 9:16 PM GMT
    It's best to keep your heart a little cool. Overheated hearts tend to break easily.
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    May 13, 2014 12:04 AM GMT
    I don't believe one totally ever gets over a broken heart. It becomes part of the warp and woof of one's being, part of what makes you you. Time does dull the intensity, however. One needs to do other things, meet other people, take up a new activity to occupy one's mind's consciousness so that there is no conscious thought space for harboring the pain of the broken heart. Ultimately, one remembers things as simply a part of one's past without much emotion attached to it. When one is younger, there are fewer total life experiences in the old memory bank, so that a broken heart perhaps looms larger. However, as one ages and has accumulated many broken hearts and dreams, one possibly gets a bit more philosophical about things, although the solution of becoming involved in new or other activities still is valid.
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    May 13, 2014 12:36 AM GMT
    jackooh saidtime heals all wounds, time best hurry up tho cus its been 6 months for me n i still feel like shit about it


    This.

    I've heard that it takes twice as long as the relationship to really get over it. So if you've been with someone for a year, count on two years to completely get over it, for example. Anyhow, plenty of fish out there so go find a new one once you feel up to it.
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    May 13, 2014 5:08 PM GMT
    The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!
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    May 13, 2014 5:20 PM GMT
    Sulla saidI don't believe one totally ever gets over a broken heart. It becomes part of the warp and woof of one's being, part of what makes you you. Time does dull the intensity, however. One needs to do other things, meet other people, take up a new activity to occupy one's mind's consciousness so that there is no conscious thought space for harboring the pain of the broken heart. Ultimately, one remembers things as simply a part of one's past without much emotion attached to it. When one is younger, there are fewer total life experiences in the old memory bank, so that a broken heart perhaps looms larger. However, as one ages and has accumulated many broken hearts and dreams, one possibly gets a bit more philosophical about things, although the solution of becoming involved in new or other activities still is valid.


    So very true. I never understood the whole notion of closure. There is no closure for some things just acceptance and moving forward. The experience becomes part of us and has a part in making us who we are.
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    May 13, 2014 5:58 PM GMT
    Road trip. Go to New Orleans, Las Vegas, NY, DC. I visit my married friend whose kids' laughter cures all sadness.
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    May 14, 2014 5:45 AM GMT
    I like Joy Division, but their music would be the soundtrack to your suicide note.


    Mostly it takes time.

    If you need to wallow, do it but give yourself an expiration date. You don't want to get stuck in a funk.

    You could do something to improve yourself. Take a class. Work out.

    Get outside yourself. Volunteer. Join a sports league.
  • MichaelMz21

    Posts: 13

    May 14, 2014 7:13 AM GMT
    For me, cutting off all contact with the person is the only way to go. I'm not one to try to stay friends. icon_confused.gif
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    May 14, 2014 10:28 AM GMT
    I kinds agree with all of the above but at the same time if you did everything right or at least everything that was expected of you and you put up with a lot of crap just to get discarded like rubbish you're going to be angry. Probably for a long time or forever because in my case I never answered back, never hit him back and did everything expected of me whilst never asking for anything in return and then I get dumped! Not just dumped but he wished death on me so I don't think it's always possible to get over stuff.
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    May 14, 2014 1:39 PM GMT
    Danny_boy93 said ... he wished death on me so I don't think it's always possible to get over stuff.
    sounds dramatical but your still healthy?


    the broken hearts club is for temporary parking only. A place to gather your emotions back together in a logical order and do a restart. The best revenge is get another boy friend, lover, get married.
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    May 14, 2014 1:43 PM GMT
    Do fun stuff with fun people :3

    Go dancing :3
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    May 14, 2014 5:30 PM GMT
    Fuck the Pain away.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    May 14, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
    Currently suffering from a very broken heart...after having a fling with a man last fall. Started to move on past him but found out just this past weekend that he moved on and got a boyfriend within weeks after the fling ended between us. My heart was blown to smitherens.

    What works? No contact, no contact.. and no contact. Not wallowing in the 'could have beens'. No beating yourself up psychologically as to why it didn't work out. Forgiving yourself. Forgiving him. Getting back to putting the focus on you. Learning lessons from each relationship. And keeping on moving forward until you find a man that will stay and reciprocate your love.

    Perhaps the biggest lesson is that if someone is not meant for you, you should consider yourself lucky that he didn't stay. Being in a bad relationship with someone that doesn't truly love is worse than being alone.
  • atlscruff

    Posts: 9

    May 14, 2014 7:11 PM GMT
    I think all my heart aches are from watching other people with guys either romantically in bars/clubs/photos or sexually in porn (as I'm friends with many major porn stars including my business manager who is one) then not knowing how to interface and socialize to make that happen. Therefore, I haven't had a relationship but I've had my fair share of heartache over "feeling left out" or not connecting with anyone. I guess it's different for everyone. Unfortunately, I would say that I'm 'behind'. Hugs!
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    May 14, 2014 7:29 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    Danny_boy93 said ... he wished death on me so I don't think it's always possible to get over stuff.
    sounds dramatical but your still healthy?


    the broken hearts club is for temporary parking only. A place to gather your emotions back together in a logical order and do a restart. The best revenge is get another boy friend, lover, get married.


    I'm probably not broken hearted on reflection. I'm bloody angry though because I had far more reasons to be the one that ended it. Plus he ditched me so his wife wouldn't find out but if he cared that much he should have never got involved with me in the first place, especially since he instigated everything. I feel used more than broken hearted tbf.
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    May 14, 2014 7:55 PM GMT
    Focus on the positives. Hopefully you built a friendship during the relationship and unless he tried to kil you then try to morph the romantic love into friendship love.

    We are born alone and die alone. Throughout our lives we will make many bonds with people. Those bonds will evolve and sometimes great loves become great friends. You put time and energy into that friendship and our time is valuable, so salvage what you can. There will always be another guy that makes you throw wood.

    My 2 best friends are my exes. I broke 1 heart and the other broke mine, but these guys know me better than anyone else and I want and need them in my life.


    Now of course, this is dependent on the fact that none of us ever tried to kill the other.
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    May 14, 2014 10:23 PM GMT
    That's really cool that you're friends with your exs. In my case there's no danger of that because we weren't official, he hates gays and we barely ever spoke because he blamed me that he liked me giving him blow jobs. We had a strange dynamic but we could never be friends because he has a wife and because I don't want to be his friend. Even though it's been 5 years since we saw each other he probably still doesn't like me either lol icon_razz.gif
  • being_human

    Posts: 152

    May 15, 2014 11:09 AM GMT
    some of my friends completely stay out of relationships, its a wise move from their part but I just cant seem to not fall in love. im a helpless romantic, and dont start preaching me abt loving oneself first and shit. thats nt the issue here. some people just fall in love easily.
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    May 15, 2014 1:01 PM GMT
    Danny_boy93 saidNot just dumped but he wished death on me so I don't think it's always possible to get over stuff.

    He wanted you dead?
    Most would find it surprisingly easy to get over someone who wanted to kill you.
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    May 15, 2014 7:18 PM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    Danny_boy93 saidNot just dumped but he wished death on me so I don't think it's always possible to get over stuff.

    He wanted you dead?
    Most would find it surprisingly easy to get over someone who wanted to kill you.


    Maybe I should clarify that he never actually attempted to kill me that would be ludicrous and something you might see in a horror movie. After telling me he hated me and saying how being gay made me evil and manipulative and that I could've broken up his marriage he just gave me a bag of drugs and told me I should do it all in one go because ODing is painless. I had never done a drug before (still haven't) and I was scared stiff of them so I binned them on the way home.

    His wife was semi retiring/cutting her hours or whatever and was going to be at home more so I understand he needed rid of me but he could've been nicer about it. I think he worried I couldn't keep my mouth shut which I did do anyways.