Feminine gay men

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 09, 2014 1:24 AM GMT
    This one is more geared towards men who lean towards the fem side.

    I'm planning on making a YouTube video to show some support to other feminine gay men. Online and sometimes offline, feminine or for lack of better word, "camp" gay men get hated by both the straight & gay world. When I look on YouTube to see if there is anything positive, all I see are "masc vs fem" videos that turn into wars. Never anything positive.

    Well, I want this video to lend a hand to the ones who are ridiculed. I want to address also that just because someone is gay, doesn't mean they are automatically "feminine" into my video as well.

    My question is, what are things that you hear, be it online or offline from guys who just don't like or flat out hate feminine men for who they are? (Not including the negatives like being "bitchy" or rude or obnoxious. I'm well aware of these particular ones.)

    Thank you for participating. I just want to make a video that will help at least someone out there who needs an ear.

    I'm aware that no matter what I do, hate is hate and will always exist. I acknowledge it but I want to at least, put something positive out there to help, even if it's just one person.

    Thanks again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 3:22 AM GMT
    I think the bottom line is that misogynists hate whatever is stereotypically feminine, whether those qualities are being expressed by a man or a woman.

    Perhaps your video could concentrate on what makes feminine qualities great, using men as the models?

    (Sorry if you didn't mean to include guys who lean the other way.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    shortbutsweet saidI think the bottom line is that misogynists hate whatever is stereotypically feminine, whether those qualities are being expressed by a man or a woman.

    Right you are. But they resent those qualities moreso when they see it in other men.

    I wouldn't make the focus about how "great" feminine gay men are. Rather, it should be more generalized allowing all gay men to relate, while also giving them a conduit through which to express their views and share stories. I just think that these types of things tend to lift off when the demographic is wider.

    I think that you'd be a great voice for it. You can definitely make videos regarding your experience as what is classified as a "feminine man". I've chosen my semantics carefully. I really do believe that dividing people into "feminine" and "masculine" binary codes is an exercise in futility, in light of the fact that everyone holds qualities of both.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 3:43 AM GMT
    ^^^ Yes, they hate it more in a man, because they see the man as a "gender traitor." Just as whites who treat blacks like human beings are seen as "race traitors" by racists.

    I didn't say make it about how feminine gay men are great, though. As the OP suggests, many are just plain obnoxious and rude. Those are unattractive qualities regardless of one's gender or gender identity.

    To clarify, there are great things about the feminine qualities misogynists hate. I would highlight those. But perhaps that's a different video than the one the OP wishes to make.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 09, 2014 7:43 AM GMT
    shortbutsweet saidI think the bottom line is that misogynists hate whatever is stereotypically feminine, whether those qualities are being expressed by a man or a woman.

    Perhaps your video could concentrate on what makes feminine qualities great, using men as the models?

    (Sorry if you didn't mean to include guys who lean the other way.)


    Thank you for commenting. I'm not making this video to bash masculine men, I'd never do that. I just want to give some support to gay men who happen to be feminine some encouraging words. I think adding in a few positive qualities of fem men may definitely be good for the video, thank you for that suggestion. icon_smile.gif

    Ajax said Right you are. But they resent those qualities moreso when they see it in other men.

    I wouldn't make the focus about how "great" feminine gay men are. Rather, it should be more generalized allowing all gay men to relate, while also giving them a conduit through which to express their views and share stories. I just think that these types of things tend to lift off when the demographic is wider.

    I think that you'd be a great voice for it. You can definitely make videos regarding your experience as what is classified as a "feminine man". I've chosen my semantics carefully. I really do believe that dividing people into "feminine" and "masculine" binary codes is an exercise in futility, in light of the fact that everyone holds qualities of both.


    I won't go for "great" but just the more positive qualities. I want this video to be like a safe haven for the feminine gay men who aren't necessarily the bad stereotypes ("bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited")but still get hated/disrespected.

    I suppose, after years of facing all the criticism I've gotten for the way I am, I can't help going on seeing other people go through a similar experience. So I want to put myself out there and help heal the hate, even if it's through a video.

    Honestly, I don't label myself "feminine", I don't label myself anything lol I'm just me. But for the sake of the topic, that's why I'm going to carry the label to help others.

    Thank you for the suggestions. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 7:19 PM GMT
    Nirvana_Fan1991 saidI want this video to be like a safe haven for the feminine gay men who aren't necessarily the bad stereotypes ("bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited")but still get hated/disrespected.

    I'm sure someone like HottJoe could twist things around and call me a self-hating homophobe for pointing this out, but the truth is that one bad apple spoils the whole bushel. Those "bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited" men you mention are the ones that stand out in everyone's mind, because they are the loudest and most visible. They ruin things for all feminine gay men.

    I like the idea for your project. Good luck with it.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 09, 2014 7:45 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet said
    Nirvana_Fan1991 saidI want this video to be like a safe haven for the feminine gay men who aren't necessarily the bad stereotypes ("bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited")but still get hated/disrespected.

    I'm sure someone like HottJoe could twist things around and call me a self-hating homophobe for pointing this out, but the truth is that one bad apple spoils the whole bushel. Those "bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited" men you mention are the ones that stand out in everyone's mind, because they are the loudest and most visible. They ruin things for all feminine gay men.

    I like the idea for your project. Good luck with it.

    Why is it everytime someone mentions fems I'm the first name that gets brought up???

    #Fempower
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 8:03 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidWhy is it everytime someone mentions fems I'm the first name that gets brought up???

    #Fempower

    Don't be silly. Your name was brought up because someone mentioned bad stereotypes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 8:14 PM GMT
    Nirvana_Fan1991 saidThis one is more geared towards men who lean towards the fem side.

    I'm planning on making a YouTube video to show some support to other feminine gay men. Online and sometimes offline, feminine or for lack of better word, "camp" gay men get hated by both the straight & gay world. When I look on YouTube to see if there is anything positive, all I see are "masc vs fem" videos that turn into wars. Never anything positive.

    Well, I want this video to lend a hand to the ones who are ridiculed. I want to address also that just because someone is gay, doesn't mean they are automatically "feminine" into my video as well.

    My question is, what are things that you hear, be it online or offline from guys who just don't like or flat out hate feminine men for who they are? (Not including the negatives like being "bitchy" or rude or obnoxious. I'm well aware of these particular ones.)

    Thank you for participating. I just want to make a video that will help at least someone out there who needs an ear.

    I'm aware that no matter what I do, hate is hate and will always exist. I acknowledge it but I want to at least, put something positive out there to help, even if it's just one person.

    Thanks again.


    I think this is a good idea. Positive feminine role models are very scarce in the gay world. I'm fortunate to know some good-hearted feminine guys in real life, but not too many online. I think you're a great person to create this project because although you may be viewed as feminine, I've never seen you exhibit the stereotypical negative characteristics of many fem guys. I would steer clear of the hypersensitive, paranoid personalities like "Hott" Joe. Those types only serve to solidify negative attitudes towards feminine men.

    To answer your question, aside from sexual interests, I honestly don't hear a lot of negative things being said about fem guys in real life. Usually the only time I hear it being brought up is online where you see the "no fats no fems" thing. (Not sure why they think fem is synonymous with being fat.) There are a lot of fem guys where I live so I guess it's just accepted more than a lot of places.

    Oddly enough, of the fem men I know, the two most fem are actually straight. One of them is just the most fantastic person you'll ever meet. He's a huge gardener and he's always carrying around a huge grocery bag with fresh produce to give people. He ALWAYS wears women's blouses. No makeup and rarely dresses or anything....just blouses. Everyone assumes he's gay but he just had a baby with his girlfriend. It's fun to see how just being himself fucks with people's assumptions. I bet he would totally be into being in your video if it will also include straight men. Let me know if you think he might fit in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet said
    HottJoe saidWhy is it everytime someone mentions fems I'm the first name that gets brought up???

    #Fempower

    Don't be silly. Your name was brought up because someone mentioned bad stereotypes.


    Now you are just acting like an ass. You brought him up for no reason other than to be a _________(fill in the blank)
    "I'm sure someone like HottJoe...." you said.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 8:37 PM GMT
    Go for it icon_biggrin.gif id like to see the video icon_biggrin.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 09, 2014 8:38 PM GMT
    unckabasa said
    shortbutsweet said
    HottJoe saidWhy is it everytime someone mentions fems I'm the first name that gets brought up???

    #Fempower

    Don't be silly. Your name was brought up because someone mentioned bad stereotypes.


    Now you are just acting like an ass. You brought him up for no reason other than to be a _________(fill in the blank)
    "I'm sure someone like HottJoe...." you said.

    Thanks!

    Scruffy and Shortbut_____ probably just want to get people on RJ to turn on me. Nirvanafan and I are buddies. I doubt they're going to talk him into rejecting me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 8:55 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidScruffy and Shortbut_____ probably just want to get people on RJ to turn on me. Nirvanafan and I are buddies. I doubt they're going to talk him into rejecting me.

    I don't care enough about you to try to influence anyone's opinion of you. I would never tell the OP who his friends should be. You may be blissfully unaware of your reputation, but you just happen to be the best example on this site of the kind of stereotype the OP doesn't want his video to be about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 8:57 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidOddly enough, of the fem men I know, the two most fem are actually straight. One of them is just the most fantastic person you'll ever meet. He's a huge gardener and he's always carrying around a huge grocery bag with fresh produce to give people. He ALWAYS wears women's blouses. No makeup and rarely dresses or anything....just blouses. Everyone assumes he's gay but he just had a baby with his girlfriend. It's fun to see how just being himself fucks with people's assumptions. I bet he would totally be into being in your video if it will also include straight men. Let me know if you think he might fit in.

    It's actually not at all uncommon for straight men to be effeminate. I think your friend would be a great choice for the video, if the OP wants to go in that direction.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 09, 2014 9:59 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet said
    HottJoe saidScruffy and Shortbut_____ probably just want to get people on RJ to turn on me. Nirvanafan and I are buddies. I doubt they're going to talk him into rejecting me.

    I don't care enough about you to try to influence anyone's opinion of you. I would never tell the OP who his friends should be. You may be blissfully unaware of your reputation, but you just happen to be the best example on this site of the kind of stereotype the OP doesn't want his video to be about.

    Oh, please. You're dying to tell people who their friends should be.

    I had no idea I was this horrible stereotype, but mmmkay let's go with the straight guy wearing a blouse.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 09, 2014 10:11 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet said
    Nirvana_Fan1991 saidI want this video to be like a safe haven for the feminine gay men who aren't necessarily the bad stereotypes ("bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited")but still get hated/disrespected.

    I'm sure someone like HottJoe could twist things around and call me a self-hating homophobe for pointing this out, but the truth is that one bad apple spoils the whole bushel. Those "bitchy", "obnoxious", "mean-spirited" men you mention are the ones that stand out in everyone's mind, because they are the loudest and most visible. They ruin things for all feminine gay men.

    I like the idea for your project. Good luck with it.


    I understand the whole spoiled apple analogy and it's true. However, a l ot of people will always remember the negative and so I feel that if I come out and address these issues, maybe it'll do some good. Also, I don't judge... HotJoe hasn't been malicious or mean towards me and i haven't noticed him being mean-spirited from heart so I'm not going to go into that. But I do agree with you about the how people do focus on the negative. I'll be sure to address these things.

    Scruffypup said I think this is a good idea. Positive feminine role models are very scarce in the gay world. I'm fortunate to know some good-hearted feminine guys in real life, but not too many online. I think you're a great person to create this project because although you may be viewed as feminine, I've never seen you exhibit the stereotypical negative characteristics of many fem guys. I would steer clear of the hypersensitive, paranoid personalities like "Hott" Joe. Those types only serve to solidify negative attitudes towards feminine men.

    To answer your question, aside from sexual interests, I honestly don't hear a lot of negative things being said about fem guys in real life. Usually the only time I hear it being brought up is online where you see the "no fats no fems" thing. (Not sure why they think fem is synonymous with being fat.) There are a lot of fem guys where I live so I guess it's just accepted more than a lot of places.

    Oddly enough, of the fem men I know, the two most fem are actually straight. One of them is just the most fantastic person you'll ever meet. He's a huge gardener and he's always carrying around a huge grocery bag with fresh produce to give people. He ALWAYS wears women's blouses. No makeup and rarely dresses or anything....just blouses. Everyone assumes he's gay but he just had a baby with his girlfriend. It's fun to see how just being himself fucks with people's assumptions. I bet he would totally be into being in your video if it will also include straight men. Let me know if you think he might fit in.


    I've never met a feminine straight guy but that is very cool. I mean, that he's confident in himself to do what he wants and stay down to earth. I really admire that. And now that I think about it, yes, I would let a feminine straight guy share his thoughts. They get some disdain as well for being themselves so why not? Anything that can show that femininity in men isn't always a bad thing if you don't focus on the negatives. So yes, he would fit in as well.

    I know you said that you don't see much criticism offline but on the off chance, have you ever met someone online who explained why they didn't like men who happened to be feminine?


    The main point is I want to show that feminine men can be naturally so just as much as a masculine man. No, I don't think all masculine men are trying to be something they aren't. That's absurd. I just feel that if they can be who they are, why can't feminine men who they are because not all of them put on an act.

    And please, let's not put each other down.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 11:12 PM GMT
    You might include effeminate str8 men, which I did not see mentioned here, particularly if you seek to challenge perceptions of femininity.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effeminacy
    Only 11 percent of his heterosexual samples were gender role nonconformists. Bell, Weinberg, and Hammersmith (1981, 18icon_cool.gif reported that half of their male homosexual subjects practiced gender-inappropriate behaviour in childhood. Among their heterosexual males, the rate of noncompliance was 25 percent. Saghir and Robins (1973, 1icon_cool.gif found that one-third of their gay male respondents conformed to gender role dictates. Only 3 percent of their heterosexual men deviated from the norm."


    You can work out the numbers but giving a quick thought, even at the lowest estimate of effeminacy in str8s, 3% is still probably more people than however many gay men tend towards effeminacy.

    That would in turn tie into your idea that you "want to address also that just because someone is gay, doesn't mean they are automatically "feminine" into my video as well" by showing that not just only aren't gay men not necessarily feminine but that a feminine man might very well be str8.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 09, 2014 11:20 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said

    I would steer clear of the hypersensitive, paranoid personalities like "Hott" Joe. Those types only serve to solidify negative attitudes towards feminine men.




    Actually Joe was being supportive. Shortnbitter decided to mention him with ZERO provocation.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 10, 2014 12:22 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    Nirvana_Fan1991 said Online and sometimes offline, feminine or for lack of better word, "camp" gay men get hated by both the straight & gay world.


    The online/offline difference is interesting, the clubs and bars seem to be occupied by the fems on the whole. I guess the "hating" on fems is more apparent on hook up apps like grindr - masc4masc - which seems to be getting the social justice warrior types all stirred up.

    This black guy in Atlanta does interesting vblog stuff, he asks why so many young black gay guys flocking to Atlanta are fems - compared to earlier years when he was young when masc gay black guys were the majority around town:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HW6CXUvH3E



    I've seen that video before. Look, I already know how a lot of masculine men, especially masculine gay men feel about feminine gay men. This video will NOT be about that. On YouTube, there are plenty of videos just like Walter's posing questions as to why men become feminine. But the truth of the matter is, not all feminine men are doing it because they're expected to.

    I've already come to terms with masculine men who don't want to hook up, date, or even be friends with feminine men. Preferences are preferences at the end of the day. This video is going to be showing support to the feminine gay men who are genuinely so. That they should find their inner strength and know that they aren't alone.

    I'm including online because most gay men in this day and age use those sites and I can imagine how it would feel to constantly read "Masc4masc", "No fems" and the popular, "If I wanted to date a girl, I'd be with one". I want to encourage naturally feminine men to pay no mind to those comments (or argue them because that goes nowhere) but to continue with life and don't get too discouraged.

    I do agree, that the over the top fems that act out the negative stereotypes ("Loud, rude, obnoxious, etc.") are pretty bad but not all feminine gay men hold the aforementioned traits. These people are what I want my video to target.

    Silver Bullet said "properly showing emotion"? What is that suppose to mean?

    Men don't need to talk about their feel feels all the time, they don't have the urge to cry every time something doesn't go their way. That is normal male behaviour, it is not some hideous perversion of their true nature inflicted upon them by the wicked oppressing Patriarchy and evil Capitalism.

    You also seem to be repeating the gender feminist nonsense about gender being merely "performative". I guess you will be well versed in the neo Marxist / Deconstructionist doctrines of lesbian feminists like Judith Butler and her "Gender Trouble" polemic.


    Regardless of what you think, just because a big chunk of men don't like to share their emotions, doesn't mean all of them are the same. Even if they were raised to be more sensitive. Who cares? If the guy is comfortable with himself, that's all that matters.

    TheAntijock u might include effeminate str8 men, which I did not see mentioned here, particularly if you seek to challenge perceptions of femininity.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effeminacy

    Only 11 percent of his heterosexual samples were gender role nonconformists. Bell, Weinberg, and Hammersmith (1981, 18 reported that half of their male homosexual subjects practiced gender-inappropriate behaviour in childhood. Among their heterosexual males, the rate of noncompliance was 25 percent. Saghir and Robins (1973, 1 found that one-third of their gay male respondents conformed to gender role dictates. Only 3 percent of their heterosexual men deviated from the norm."



    You can work out the numbers but giving a quick thought, even at the lowest estimate of effeminacy in str8s, 3% is still probably more people than however many gay men tend towards effeminacy.

    That would in turn tie into your idea that you "want to address also that just because someone is gay, doesn't mean they are automatically "feminine" into my video as well" by showing that not just only aren't gay men not necessarily feminine but that a feminine man might very well be str8.


    Mmm well, I wasn't really going for a statistics type of video, just support really but that's an interesting study. I'll try and work it into my video. Thanks.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 10, 2014 12:31 AM GMT
    Nirvana_Fan1991 said
    I know you said that you don't see much criticism offline but on the off chance, have you ever met someone online who explained why they didn't like men who happened to be feminine?


    Well, most guys repeat the same line, which although it's a worn out line, it also seems to accurately sum up their feelings....."if I wanted a woman, I'd be with a woman." And honestly, that's how I feel too (sexually speaking.) However I don't understand the hatred for fem guys. I'm not into feminine men at all sexually or romantically, but that in no way means I hate them, as certain members on this site would have you believe.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    May 10, 2014 1:52 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Nirvana_Fan1991 said
    I know you said that you don't see much criticism offline but on the off chance, have you ever met someone online who explained why they didn't like men who happened to be feminine?


    Well, most guys repeat the same line, which although it's a worn out line, it also seems to accurately sum up their feelings....."if I wanted a woman, I'd be with a woman." And honestly, that's how I feel too (sexually speaking.) However I don't understand the hatred for fem guys. I'm not into feminine men at all sexually or romantically, but that in no way means I hate them, as certain members on this site claim.


    See, you're the example of what I mean. I understand that you (and many others) are not sexually or romantically interested in a feminine man. Like I said, it's just your preference and there's nothing wrong with that.

    Silver Bullet said Know that they are not alone? The point is at the social venues there are heaps of them, I gave Walter's vblog as an example of that. How could any of the feminine types who hang out at the social venues ever come to the conclusion that they are alone, rather they are often the majority, they often dominate the social scenes.

    As for online, apps like Grindr, instead of certain subgroups of gay culture constantly complaining about being discriminated against or "invisibilised", why not sign out and go set up your own apps that you can police to your hearts content?

    You are missing the point about my response to the "deconstructing gender binaries" post previously. I am more than happy for guys to behave in a way they feel comfortable with. It is the feminist/progressive types who are trying to manipulate men, claiming that men need to act more like women, to "cry more" and "talk about their feelings" and if they don't then there is something wrong with them. I won't go into the feminst/deconstructionist/neo marxist ideology behind this.


    I'm referring it to the more laid back feminine ones. The ones who you KNOW are feminine but they don't act all "loud" and in your face about their sexuality. In gay clubs, yes, there are all types of men but when it comes to the noticeable feminine men, it's always the aforementioned traits I said at the start. I'm personally not a big fan of things like that and I know others feel the same way too. That's where I'm trying to get at. I'm also going to address that you shouldn't believe you have to act a certain way because your gay.

    This isn't about complaining. Did you not read what I wrote in my opening? I'm not making a complaint video, just a support video. Like I said, I don't care if these masculine men post things "masc4masc" and the like. I just leave it alone and move on. Why argue over something that can't be helped?

    So you are more upset about the feminist progressive activists who are pushing to change men? Okay, fine. I understand. It's wrong to try to force someone to change who they are. I'm just going to say for the record though that not all feminine men were/are people who were pushed by feminist types. My video isn't going to be about feminism. As I said previously, it's merely just a support and advice video. That's all, nothing more.

    There will be no hate. I'm not going to be bashing masculine men in it, at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 10, 2014 3:46 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    judgingyou saidWhen "feminine" qualities are considered things like properly showing emotion and wearing pink, and "masculine" qualities are considered hiding your feelings (except anger) and watching sports, it's a crock of shit. These types of qualities are forced upon children from the time they are born by society in general.


    "properly showing emotion"? What is that suppose to mean?

    Men don't need to talk about their feel feels all the time, they don't have the urge to cry every time something doesn't go their way. That is normal male behaviour, it is not some hideous perversion of their true nature inflicted upon them by the wicked oppressing Patriarchy and evil Capitalism.

    You also seem to be repeating the gender feminist nonsense about gender being merely "performative". I guess you will be well versed in the neo Marxist / Deconstructionist doctrines of lesbian feminists like Judith Butler and her "Gender Trouble" polemic.



    Properly showing emotion generally means expressing whatever one feels without fear of retribution.

    Real Men actually do cry from time to time because it is a natural part of Life. If You can't cry than You can't laugh. If You can't laugh there is no point to being alive.

    Real Men also generally avoid referring to expressing emotion and reacting to the world around them as "feel feels."

    Perhaps the next time you are at the library looking up political terms to drop in your pseudo-intellectual spiel you might be able to lift some more pics to accompany your fake profile.

    Hope that doesn't sound like a femme-y hissy fit. I wouldn't want to hurt yer feel-feels.

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 10, 2014 3:49 AM GMT
    judgingyou said
    silver_bullet said
    judgingyou saidWhen "feminine" qualities are considered things like properly showing emotion and wearing pink, and "masculine" qualities are considered hiding your feelings (except anger) and watching sports, it's a crock of shit. These types of qualities are forced upon children from the time they are born by society in general.
    "properly showing emotion"? What is that suppose to mean?
    Men don't need to talk about their feel feels all the time, they don't have the urge to cry every time something doesn't go their way. That is normal male behaviour, it is not some hideous perversion of their true nature inflicted upon them by the wicked oppressing Patriarchy and evil Capitalism.
    You also seem to be repeating the gender feminist nonsense about gender being merely "performative". I guess you will be well versed in the neo Marxist / Deconstructionist doctrines of lesbian feminists like Judith Butler and her "Gender Trouble" polemic.
    I'm not saying that anybody should "cry every time something doesn't go their way". Don't put words in my mouth.
    Displaying emotions properly simply means that you are not physically or verbally abusive when you display them.
    For example:
    punching a hole in the wall = not helpful
    walking out of a room when angry = acceptable
    using words in a constructive manner to solve a problem = helpful

    I am not saying that ALL men do ____________ or ALL women don't ________________ but it is widely accepted as social norm that "boys don't cry".


    Sorry - but I am significantly older than You and I can tell You from YEARS of personal experience that, at times, punching a hole in the wall is EXTREMELY helpful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 10, 2014 4:12 AM GMT
    ^^^ I totally agree. A good wall punch can be a great stress release.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 10, 2014 5:14 AM GMT
    ^^ well of courseā€¦ Im not an uncouth twit. Besides, i would hate to think of what you would do if i punched your wall! icon_lol.gif