Mothers day without a mother

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    May 10, 2014 11:38 PM GMT
    Anyone else in the same boat feelin' kinda sad? icon_sad.gif

    On January 27th of this year my mother passed away.
    I was in class and got a message on FB from my mothers neighbor telling me that she had an accident (this was before I got a cell phone so FB was my main source of communication). I left class, drove home and called my mothers neighbor and she told me that my mother was in the hospital ER. I call the hospital and they inform me that she went into Cardiac Arrest and was unconscious on life support.

    Now, my mother lived 3 hours away.
    I packed a bag, took a shower and left, but by the time I got to the hospital she was dead. My father, some distant relatives and other people were in the waiting room by the time I got there and gave me the news. Since I had to drive three hours to get there (crying most of the time), and had just found out my mother died, I was a wreck.

    They took me down to see the body.
    They pulled out the drawer she was in and unzipped the bag.
    She had a bloody nose, tubes in her mouth and nose... Not the way I wanted to see her. It was really hard... It's hard for me to think of her and not see that image.

    It's especially hard knowing that I came out to her just a few months earlier and she was furious (some of you might remember the thread I made on my old account). But, we were talking again. She didn't stay mad, she did love me.

    I've been really unstable this past week with all the mothers day commercials and advertisement everywhere I go. It's a little overwhelming.

    I went to Target the other day to buy cards for all the mothers of my ACRO teammates. They were all really supportive and helpful and I'm grateful to have them in my life.

    I started crying in the card aisle. Today at work too. Tomorrow will be tough.


    Share your stories, if you'd like.
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    May 10, 2014 11:58 PM GMT
    I have a step mom that doesn't know who I am cause of alzheimers but I still have to take care of her occasionally. Real Mom died when I was 4 so still suffering from that loss as a toddler. Not doing anything tomorrow except staying off the road from crazies.
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    May 11, 2014 12:06 AM GMT
    yeah, lost mine in 2002, two days before Christmas, she was only 65, everybody misses her icon_sad.gif
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    May 11, 2014 12:09 AM GMT
    My friend's mum is passed away, and I didn't know what was or wasn't appropriate to say, I kept myself in place by being quiet. My condolences.
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    May 11, 2014 12:18 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidAnyone else in the same boat feelin' kinda sad? icon_sad.gif


    hugs*
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    May 11, 2014 12:53 AM GMT
    A very conflicted feeling about today. icon_neutral.gif
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    May 11, 2014 12:53 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidAnyone else in the same boat feelin' kinda sad? icon_sad.gif

    In the same boat. Even when not the same boat.

    onsailboat.jpgimg073_zpsf576f8ac.jpg

    File0578.jpgFile0507.jpg

    I miss you mom.
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    May 11, 2014 1:23 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidsorry to hear that, man.
    Varus said
    hugs*


    Thanks. :^]
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    May 11, 2014 1:24 AM GMT
    n8698u saidA very conflicted feeling about today. icon_neutral.gif


    I am too.
    Why is that?
    Did you lose your mother too or is it just kind of a complicated relationship?
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    May 11, 2014 1:26 AM GMT
    bradomo saidI have a step mom that doesn't know who I am cause of alzheimers but I still have to take care of her occasionally. Real Mom died when I was 4 so still suffering from that loss as a toddler. Not doing anything tomorrow except staying off the road from crazies.

    I guess the pain of losing someone never leaves, does it?
    Your Step Mother is lucky to have you taking care of her. Alzheimer's must be really scary to go through.

    scruffLA saidyeah, lost mine in 2002, two days before Christmas, she was only 65, everybody misses her icon_sad.gif

    icon_cry.gif
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    May 11, 2014 1:32 AM GMT
    Sweetooth saidMy friend's mum is passed away, and I didn't know what was or wasn't appropriate to say, I kept myself in place by being quiet. My condolences.

    That is honestly the best thing to do. After mine died I didn't want to hear a bunch of stuff from people that didn't know how I was feeling. I knew they were trying to help and I'm appreciative but, it wasn't comforting. It actually made me really upset. I think you did the right thing (everyone is deifferent though). That's what I wanted.


    theantijock said
    I miss you mom.

    Great pics! She looks so happy and has a great smile! icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 11, 2014 1:37 AM GMT
    theantijock saidFile0507.jpg

    I miss you mom.


    Nice photo. Looks like she was a fun lady.
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    May 11, 2014 1:39 AM GMT
    My mom's twin sister raised me. Her name was Kitty. She was a mother to my brother and I our whole lives. This August she called me to take her to the ER because she was feeling disoriented, I rushed over and rushed her to the hospital. The short version is that we were there for 10 minutes when she grabbed her head screamed bloody murder, looked over at me and then drifted away. forever. Massive bleed in the brain. 19 hours later was how long it took her body to catch up to her mind and she was finally pronounced dead. Thats the very short version. The long story is so horrific that within 19 hours, once we realized there was no coming back from that, I needed her body to just die; it was that bad and that scarring.... i'll never be the same again. But how could I?
    This is the first mothers day without her. We bought her headstone today. Odd to do that kind of business the day before mother's day.

    You guys aren't alone. I'm a 29 year old man. I probably have more confidence and feel more adequate as a man than I really should.... But reliving that day in my head - the 19 hours in between august 23 and 24- has the power to make me feel like a scared little boy who needs his mommy. Every body says "love is the thing" "Love is what makes life worth living..." I always thought that was true ... now I know that time trumps love. Time is the thing, but you don't realize that until its up.
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    May 11, 2014 1:44 AM GMT
    MK1220 saidMy mom's twin sister raised me. Her name was Kitty. She was a mother to my brother and I our whole lives. This August she called me to take her to the ER because she was feeling disoriented, I rushed over and rushed her to the hospital. The short version is that we were there for 10 minutes when she grabbed her head screamed bloody murder, looked over at me and then drifted away. forever. 19 hours later she was pronounced dead. Thats the very short version. First mothers day without her. We bought her headstone today. Odd to do that kind of business the day before mother's day.

    You guys aren't alone. I'm a 29 year old man. I probably have more confidence and feel more adequate as a man than I really should.... But reliving that day in my head - the 19 hours in between august 23 and 24- has the power to make me feel like a scared little boy who needs his mommy. Every body says "love is the thing" "Love is what makes life worth living..." I always thought that was true ... now I know that time trumps love. Time is the thing, but you don't realize that until its up.


    I'm so sorry to hear that. It's scary how fast these things can happen.
    I kinda wanna share my story too but, my mom died just a few months ago too (January 27), so it's kinda hard. Thanks for sharing, MK. :^]
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    May 11, 2014 1:44 AM GMT
    secretz saidMy condolences. Look at the bright side, she will no longer have fear, be ill, worry about anything, cry or suffer. She's at peace now. And, whether you believe in an afterlife or not, scientifically speaking, she will technically never cease to exist. Her body will just get recycled by nature and she will also be in your mind and heart.


    Hi Secretz. I know you mean well, but for future reference let me edit this for you....
    secretz saidMy condolences.


    Thats all. Less is fine. Good night sir.
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    May 11, 2014 1:46 AM GMT
    MK1220 said
    Hi Secretz. I know you mean well, but for future reference let me edit this for you....
    secretz saidMy condolences.


    Thats all. Less is fine. Good night sir.


    Thankyou.
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    May 11, 2014 1:49 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    MK1220 saidMy mom's twin sister raised me. Her name was Kitty. She was a mother to my brother and I our whole lives. This August she called me to take her to the ER because she was feeling disoriented, I rushed over and rushed her to the hospital. The short version is that we were there for 10 minutes when she grabbed her head screamed bloody murder, looked over at me and then drifted away. forever. 19 hours later she was pronounced dead. Thats the very short version. First mothers day without her. We bought her headstone today. Odd to do that kind of business the day before mother's day.

    You guys aren't alone. I'm a 29 year old man. I probably have more confidence and feel more adequate as a man than I really should.... But reliving that day in my head - the 19 hours in between august 23 and 24- has the power to make me feel like a scared little boy who needs his mommy. Every body says "love is the thing" "Love is what makes life worth living..." I always thought that was true ... now I know that time trumps love. Time is the thing, but you don't realize that until its up.


    I'm so sorry to hear that. It's scary how fast these things can happen.
    I kinda wanna share my story too but, my mom died just a few months ago too (January 27), so it's kinda hard. Thanks for sharing, MK. :^]


    Wow really? Im very sorry to hear that. If you wanna talk, you can always talk to me. I'm very open about my grief and the healing process. If you'd like to know my experience (emotionally I mean) please get in touch with me.
    I considered making a thread about my experience as part of my healing and hoping other people could contribute for their healing too, but Im afraid that kind of vulnerability will bring out the trolls and the thread will become a massive shit storm of rage and lost purpose... and Kitty and everyone's lost loved-ones don't deserve their memories to be at the mercy of the RJ trolls.
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    May 11, 2014 1:54 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim said
    MK1220 said
    Hi Secretz. I know you mean well, but for future reference let me edit this for you....
    secretz saidMy condolences.


    Thats all. Less is fine. Good night sir.


    Thankyou.


    Some people don't get it, and its not their fault.... Death and grief is something our culture strays away from and avoids. And so unless you have had that kind of life shifting, roof caving in, can't breath kind of loss, How can you know that there really isn't a "bright side"... ya know? No use getting angry at them, they mean well :-) And one day they will know...
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    May 11, 2014 1:58 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidAnyone else in the same boat feelin' kinda sad? icon_sad.gif

    I'm sorry, Rion. What a shame. Hugz
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    May 11, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    I am so sorry for you Slim. I really am
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    May 11, 2014 2:11 AM GMT
    Sorry for your loss:

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    May 11, 2014 2:26 AM GMT
    MK1220 said
    secretz saidMy condolences. Look at the bright side, she will no longer have fear, be ill, worry about anything, cry or suffer. She's at peace now. And, whether you believe in an afterlife or not, scientifically speaking, she will technically never cease to exist. Her body will just get recycled by nature and she will also be in your mind and heart.


    Hi Secretz. I know you mean well, but for future reference let me edit this for you....
    secretz saidMy condolences.


    Thats all. Less is fine. Good night sir.


    I'm not entirely sure that secretz means well ... icon_sad.gif
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    May 11, 2014 2:39 AM GMT
    MK1220 said
    Wow really? Im very sorry to hear that. If you wanna talk, you can always talk to me. I'm very open about my grief and the healing process. If you'd like to know my experience (emotionally I mean) please get in touch with me.
    I considered making a thread about my experience as part of my healing and hoping other people could contribute for their healing too, but Im afraid that kind of vulnerability will bring out the trolls and the thread will become a massive shit storm of rage and lost purpose... and Kitty and everyone's lost loved-ones don't deserve their memories to be at the mercy of the RJ trolls.


    Thankyou so much. I've been wanting to be a lot off my chest but haven't really had anyone to talk to with the same experiences.

    And yes, I agree, some members won't take it seriously and turn it into a mess.
    I updated my main post with a little bit of my story.
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    May 11, 2014 2:41 AM GMT
    Sharkspeare said

    I'm sorry, Rion. What a shame. Hugz

    Edward89 saidI am so sorry for you Slim. I really am

    Kuestion saidSorry for your loss


    Thanks guys. :^]
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    May 11, 2014 2:41 AM GMT
    ACRO_Slim saidAnyone else in the same boat feelin' kinda sad? icon_sad.gif


    ARCO, sorry for your loss and yes, I too feel sad. My mother died in 2002 and it was the hardest thing for me to get over. We were very close. I think of her often and always remember her on Mother's Day. I have a step mother I send flowers to every year, I miss my mom but am grateful for her love and support.

    MK1220 saidMy mom's twin sister raised me. Her name was Kitty.


    MK, sorry about your mom. I honestly don't think we're ever suppose to get 'over' the loss of our mother. The best we can do is to embrace the memories and allow them to fill all the spaces in our hearts filled with sorrow from her loss. It's never easy and, fortunately, we never forget them.