I'm dating a black guy, but my ass is small!

  • slipnslide

    Posts: 17

    May 11, 2014 2:25 AM GMT
    Don't laugh at my title. So I've been dating this guy for five months. We haven't did the deed yet, we both agreed to take it slow. And, no I'm not a virgin icon_razz.gif

    We were messing around and I asked him if he likes big butts. He said yes. I felt like shit cause my ass ain't big. It's like kind of small, but still peachy. smh icon_biggrin.gif

    But, he told me that he liked my ass and told me to stop worrying. What do I do?

    For a laugh, I stuffed a pillow down my pants last night and started to twerk (more like attempt) icon_biggrin.gif It was funny, but kind of sad when i took it off. Everything went flat again icon_sad.gif I'm the bottom, he's the top. Another, does the top have to always be taller than the bottom? Cause I'm 6ft 2 and he's only...5ft 8. But, i bloody love his personality. He's just someone i connect with so well.

    Also, he's very sexual...he told me once that he played something called master and pup. I was so creeped out when he told me. Also, he revealed to me he had threesomes before and sometimes hints at us having one someday. Which I always say "hell fucking no!" too. I sort of get a little pissed when he talks about his previous sexual encounters. I know childish, but I've only slept with three people, all of whom i was in a relationship with. I can't do one night stands.

    Does anybody have any advice?
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    May 11, 2014 2:31 AM GMT
    slipnslide said

    But, he told me that he liked my ass and told me to stop worrying. What do I do?


    On this point, you take his advice.


    As for his previous sexual experiences, you knew that you weren't dating a virgin, and he knows you aren't a virgin either. If you can't stand to hear about someone's sexual past, then you're going to be alone forever. Talking about what turns you on and what you've done in the past is important to developing a fulfilling sexual relationship.

    And he's obviously a kinky dude. If you don't like that, cut your losses now and leave. He's not going to give up his kinks forever just so he can be with you, no matter how much he likes you. And you also implied that because he's kinky, he isn't into commitment. The two are not correlated.
  • slipnslide

    Posts: 17

    May 11, 2014 2:38 AM GMT
    He's to good to loose. He's been trying very hard not to freak me out these past couple of months. In away I want to embrace that side of things, like try that stuff out. But, I'm afraid I would just mess it up.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 11, 2014 2:42 AM GMT
    What Bunjamon said.

    TBH, you don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship. The guy sounds like fun, though, so why not just enjoy the ride? Don't make it into such a BFD. The capital R relationship thing will happen when you're mature enough to have one.
  • slipnslide

    Posts: 17

    May 11, 2014 2:45 AM GMT
    I know, we don't even say the l word. We both cringe when we discuss it.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 11, 2014 2:51 AM GMT
    slipnslide saidI know, we don't even say the l word. We both cringe when we discuss it.
    Your profile says you're 19yo. That is WAY too young to be thinking of the big R stuff (IMO). Date, have fun, sew some oats or w/e. There's plenty of time for "settling down" with someone when the time comes.
  • Twistsstick

    Posts: 14

    May 11, 2014 2:53 AM GMT
    slipnslide said I'm the bottom, he's the top. Another, does the top have to always be taller than the bottom? Cause I'm 6ft 2 and he's only...5ft 8. But, i bloody love his personality. He's just someone i connect with so well.

    Also, he's very sexual...he told me once that he played something called master and pup. I was so creeped out when he told me. Also, he revealed to me he had threesomes before and sometimes hints at us having one someday. Which I always say "hell fucking no!" too. I sort of get a little pissed when he talks about his previous sexual encounters. I know childish, but I've only slept with three people, all of whom i was in a relationship with. I can't do one night stands.

    Does anybody have any advice?


    Top/bottom or Dominant/submissive doesn't really have anything to do with physical size(or shouldn't), it's about dominance and personality. It sounds like you're already established who's top and who's bottom, yeah? And height really didn't play a part in it, did it?

    *Grins*

    As for the rest and his "kinks", I would say to stop worrying so much about what you see as your flaws...apparently he's into you, yeah? Else you wouldn't be dating. So give yourself a little credit and stop stressing.

    The kinks? Communication is key, it is imperative. Communicate the things you're interested in and those you are definitely -not- interested in, the things that you -might- be interested in trying someday. Make a list of your hard limits(those things you will NEVER be comfortable with), your soft limits(things you are willing to possibly consider with the right opportunity) and the things that you would like to give a try. You might be surprised at how many doors this opens and it also helps him figure out where you are and which direction to go.

    He's probably feeling you out when he's mentioning his past exploits, just to gauge your reactions and find out what you're into.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 11, 2014 2:56 AM GMT
    Remember this.....

    People are made differently. Some are more geared to open relationships and some are just born to be monogamous. Sounds like you two are wanting totally opposite kinds of relationships. Some differences are worth compromising on and some or irreconcilable. This is one of those irreconcilable differences. Either try to see him as strictly a casual sex partner or break it off completely. Otherwise, you're going to get hurt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 11, 2014 2:57 AM GMT
    OMG! i'm dating a black guy too! it's only been 3 weeks and we haven't done the dirty, well kinda, we took a shower together and MAN! his dick is fucking huge! I was, actually still am scared that, that anaconda will be inside me (he's a big o'l top). I haven't had anal sex is a very long time like 4 years.. and I just started dating too icon_confused.gif But oh well, I'll have to manage some how.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 11, 2014 2:59 AM GMT
    Twistsstick said
    Top/bottom or Dominant/submissive doesn't really have anything to do with physical size(or shouldn't), it's about dominance and personality. It sounds like you're already established who's top and who's bottom, yeah? And height really didn't play a part in it, did it?


    Really dislike when people confuse top/bottom with dominant/submissive, they really aren't analogous however much they sometimes might go together. Also your preferred position in bed is certainly not tied to your personality type, although some may relegate themselves to bottoming through lack of confidence.


  • slipnslide

    Posts: 17

    May 11, 2014 3:01 AM GMT
    Grimz saidOMG! i'm dating a black guy too! it's only been 3 weeks and we haven't done the dirty, well kinda, we took a shower together and MAN! his dick is fucking huge! I was, actually still am scared that, that anaconda will be inside me (he's a big o'l top). I haven't had anal sex is a very long time like 4 years.. and I just started dating too icon_confused.gif But oh well, I'll have to manage some how.


    Lucky you lol mine wears something called a cock ring smh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 11, 2014 4:20 AM GMT
    Bunjamon said
    slipnslide said

    But, he told me that he liked my ass and told me to stop worrying. What do I do?


    On this point, you take his advice.


    As for his previous sexual experiences, you knew that you weren't dating a virgin, and he knows you aren't a virgin either. If you can't stand to hear about someone's sexual past, then you're going to be alone forever. Talking about what turns you on and what you've done in the past is important to developing a fulfilling sexual relationship.

    And he's obviously a kinky dude. If you don't like that, cut your losses now and leave. He's not going to give up his kinks forever just so he can be with you, no matter how much he likes you. And you also implied that because he's kinky, he isn't into commitment. The two are not correlated.


    Word.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 11, 2014 4:54 AM GMT


    ". Also, he revealed to me he had threesomes before and sometimes hints at us having one someday. Which I always say "hell fucking no!" too. "

    That's pretty well that.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    May 11, 2014 7:13 AM GMT
    slipnslide said
    Lucky you lol mine wears something called a cock ring smh


    I just lol'd. But actually.