How not to let past baggage ruin potential future relationships?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2014 4:22 PM GMT
    If I was looking to start online dating again with the potential of meeting up with guys (which I am very soon) how do I go about making sure past baggage, for example trust issues or being touched unexpectedly etc don't interfere with that dating process.

    I don't mean baggage like drug habits or anything like that I just want to make sure I don't scare anyone one off or make them think I'm weird/not worth their time.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 12, 2014 5:21 PM GMT
    Everyone has some baggage. I would say don't look for someone who can right wrongs of the past. Just try to stay forward thinking and be yourself (you seem so pleasant!). Once you click with someone, eventually you'll both be able to sort through the past together, but by then it won't scare him away. It will build trust.
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    May 12, 2014 5:24 PM GMT
    Drink heavily before meeting anyone as way of adequately sublimating any negative thoughts.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 12, 2014 5:25 PM GMT
    Sometimes baggage is a good thing. It can help us prevent from repeating past mistakes. Keep your baggage in storage where it belongs, don't leave it out in your living space icon_wink.gif
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    May 12, 2014 5:27 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidEveryone has some baggage. I would say don't look for someone who can right wrongs of the past. Just try to stay forward thinking and be yourself (you seem so pleasant!). Once you click with someone, eventually you'll both be able to sort through the past together, but by then it won't scare him away. It will build trust.


    good advice
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    May 12, 2014 5:29 PM GMT
    Cash saidDrink heavily before meeting anyone as way of adequately sublimating any negative thoughts.

    I've often done that to calm my nerves but then made a fool of myself so would probably not do it again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2014 5:38 PM GMT
    if you have that bad feel its probably time to get his passwords and spy on his email and or iphone.
    phuck it, evil but trueicon_twisted.gif
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    May 12, 2014 5:39 PM GMT
    You (and anyone with baggage that may skew or damage future relationships) needs to remember to take each person as an individual.

    All men are not created equal. No one has the exact same level of honor or integrity, no one has the same levels of responsibility or interest in relationship status or sex.

    We are all different. Letting past experience color how you see someone new is prejudicial and.... well, just wrong.

    Does this mean you have to wear your heart on your sleeve and open your heart to every guy that comes along? No, it means you need to get to know each one as an individual and judge from -their- qualities, if they deserve your time.
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    May 12, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    ^^ I know it's not fair to do it and it's wrong but you can't always help what's in your head.
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    May 13, 2014 11:23 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidEveryone has some baggage. I would say don't look for someone who can right wrongs of the past. Just try to stay forward thinking and be yourself (you seem so pleasant!). Once you click with someone, eventually you'll both be able to sort through the past together, but by then it won't scare him away. It will build trust.


    Wow, nice.
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    May 13, 2014 2:04 PM GMT
    the baggage can be good stuff too. Put more emphasis on some things and drop the bad.

    concentrate on the fun times & good stuff. Carry on to the next relationship your successes and initiate knowledge you learned about your self.

    revenge, regret and fear are not all what they are talked up to be.
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    May 13, 2014 6:28 PM GMT
    Just be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. You want a man who is going to like you for who you are and vice versa. Communication is important. Do not be afraid to talk to one another. If you like each other you will start to bond.
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    May 13, 2014 6:39 PM GMT
    homejames saidJust be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. You want a man who is going to like you for who you are and vice versa. Communication is important. Do not be afraid to talk to one another. If you like each other you will start to bond.


    I agree with this but I have to find someone first icon_razz.gif