Why would anyone go out with a guy like me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2014 4:28 AM GMT
    Whats up y'all, been kinda in the dumps lately, looking for someone to settle down with, but have had no luck in the process. Most folks like guys who are big, strong, handsome.....none of which seem to fit me. Could just be that I am too hard on myself.
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    May 14, 2014 4:36 AM GMT
    I'm asking the same question myself for a year or so now to be honest, but hey it's not about me it's about you here. icon_smile.gif

    Anyway I think your being to hard on yourself, you seem like a very nice person to me, and you got a handsome face. icon_smile.gif
    If it weren't for distance I'd try and meet up.

    Finding Mr Right takes time my overseas friends would say.
  • agro

    Posts: 199

    May 14, 2014 9:26 AM GMT
    ColtonNathan saidWhats up y'all, been kinda in the dumps lately, looking for someone to settle down with, but have had no luck in the process. Most folks like guys who are big, strong, handsome.....none of which seem to fit me. Could just be that I am too hard on myself.


    If you are as good a cook as you say, you would have my heart in an instant icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2014 3:54 PM GMT
    How many guys have you asked out?
    or
    are you waiting around to be asked out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2014 4:26 PM GMT
    to the OP
    has a nice profile here.

    -restrictive references on age, height and instead of saying hopefully a sexy body say something like "takes care of him self".
    -not a lot of gay men are of a christian persuasion. tho i went to a gay affirming church once when single to just see who was there. Found some nice people. I refuse to even think of going to church w/o my bf and not being able to hold hands. No one wants to hear your still struggling to fit into your family religion. So say you find the fellowship in a gay affirming church.
    -drop the knife sharpening.


    you live in a small town, possible military, got religion. It might take time to find that man but we always get what we want in life. Relationships are a lot of work and prone to fail. Start with assessing your self and broaden your search criteria by possibly looking for some one who brings to the table what you need so the two of you add up to more than just 2.0
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2014 4:27 PM GMT
    Everybody finds love one day, you just gotta beliiiiiieve!

    I also heard you gotta step out of your everyday life and join social activities to find people. Make friends, see if they have their own gay friends, then meet'em
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2014 4:52 PM GMT
    You are a young man and nothing happens overnight. You have to take the time to be proactive, get out and do things and meet people.

    Work on developing your own well being for example: exercise, join groups or clubs, go to school, volunteer, go to church and you will develop a network of people, acquaintances, friends and a support system.

    It is often from the people that you do get to know where you will meet or get introduced to the people you will want to date.
  • Phobophobia

    Posts: 20

    May 15, 2014 9:02 PM GMT
    Lighten up man, I have no idea who your talking to because you PASS appearance wise when it comes to my picky standards. I don't understand how you don't consider yourself a big guy.

    As others have stated, look in other places. And another thing stop comparing yourself to others, and stop thinking lowly of yourself, your handsome just the way you are.

    Good luck to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2014 9:07 PM GMT
    I see no reason why no one would date you. Maybe it's your confidence.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2014 4:50 PM GMT
    Danny_boy93 saidI see no reason why no one would date you. Maybe it's your confidence.

    I agree. I don't see any reason why anyone wouldn't date the OP (based on his pics and reading his profile), and I bet it's his confidence, too.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    May 16, 2014 5:08 PM GMT
    Focus on your personal goals and happiness that confidence with attract the perfect guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2014 6:42 PM GMT
    Don't feel too bad my friend. I think a lot of us are tough on ourselves when it comes to dating. I am always hard on myself and on the way i look. I have confidence in many of my abilities but the looks department.

    Honestly as cliche as it sounds... everyone is attractive to somebody. There's tons of guys who will like you for how you look and your personality. Just don't be impatient icon_smile.gificon_lol.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    May 16, 2014 9:30 PM GMT
    I don't know, man... Knife sharpening Christians scare me a bit.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 16, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    No one wants to give up their virginity icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2014 10:40 PM GMT
    We all go/went through this regardless of our age. I would suggest that you concentrate of finding places to meet a wide range of guys (IE: Meetup.com type events). If you're not out yet, that might be an issue. If you are, then try and get involved in groups where there are other guys to meet. The best guys are those that you get to know one on one and not those that fit your 'perfect man' fantasy. We all have our faults, we all have our likes/dislikes but part of building relationships is compromise. Once you're exposed to other guys around socially then you might find a personality, charm, wit, looks, and other qualities that you enjoy, despite what you thought you'd like.

    Good luck. You're a nice looking guy, someone is out there for you….just be patient.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2014 3:04 AM GMT
    OP should know that he has nothing to worry about.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    May 17, 2014 4:27 AM GMT
    ColtonNathan saidWhats up y'all, been kinda in the dumps lately, looking for someone to settle down with, but have had no luck in the process. Most folks like guys who are big, strong, handsome.....none of which seem to fit me. Could just be that I am too hard on myself.


    You're a very attractive man. Guys would line up to meet someone like you. If I were 30 years younger I know I would. Stay out there and be patient.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2014 6:25 AM GMT
    I didn't even open up your profile to tell you that everyone is a 10 to someone else and that includes you. Now, get some balls, go out there, and know what you're worth ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2014 8:41 AM GMT
    It's tough.

    It's hard to accept a blanket statement stating that most people are into this or that knowing that the reality is quite different. There are guys out there of all different shapes and sizes that are interested in a variety of different kinds of guys, varying in all different types of shapes and sizes (you would be surprised). Unless you're chasing after Zac Efron, don't be so discouraged and narrow-minded.

    Finding someone to 'settle down with' isn't the type of thing you find the instant you're ready for it. It's the type of thing that will find you when the timing is appropriate. You will go on many dead-end dates before finding one that leads into a future... and even then it's anyone's guess as to how far that future will travel. Sure, you find couples that are with their high school sweet-hearts or their first date off of eharmony.com but that sort of thing is rare. Most of us have to kiss our frogs before we find our sweet prince.

    It's the sort of thing that just happens on its own and usually it happens when you're not really looking or expecting it.

    It could be that you're trying too hard. It could also be that you're not trying hard enough.

    Sometimes it is just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. Going to the right party or social gathering, working on the right night, going to gym at the right hour, walking through the park at the right minute, etc. As far fetched as all of these scenarios sound, I could name at least one person that has met their SO through all of them.

    Again, it's tough. Sometimes you just need to marry the night, take a shot of whiskey and drink to that icon_smile.gif .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2014 4:33 PM GMT
    I am going to leave you a quote from a movie.

    *Most guys just want to sleep around and get laid, and you...you want to marry them first** - ($20 buck for a correct guess from which movie/who is it from}.

    OP, you just need to open up, hang out and make new friends. If the future husband come, he'll come.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2014 5:30 AM GMT
    ColtonNathan saidWhats up y'all, been kinda in the dumps lately, looking for someone to settle down with, but have had no luck in the process. Most folks like guys who are big, strong, handsome.....none of which seem to fit me. Could just be that I am too hard on myself.


    Yeah, you are being hard on yourself. But, I read your profile and you stated that you want a guy who is not much older and taller than you. By stating that, you've limited yourself to guys with these characteristics and now, you're in the dumps that you can't find that guy who matches your likes.

    I think you need to be more open about guys; otherwise, you're going to be in the dumps for a while.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 8:00 PM GMT
    Thanks y'all, I appreciate all of this more then you can possibly imagine icon_wink.gif And on to good news, I got a date tomorrow, any advice?
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    May 19, 2014 10:39 PM GMT
    ColtonNathan saidThanks y'all, I appreciate all of this more then you can possibly imagine icon_wink.gif And on to good news, I got a date tomorrow, any advice?


    Yaaay icon_biggrin.gif

    Just be yourself and have fun. Guys like a guys that are comfortable in their own skin and know how to have a good time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 10:42 PM GMT
    Glad to hear you going on a date, hope you enjoy yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2014 12:48 AM GMT
    Turns out he never showed up icon_sad.gif