My first boyfriend cheated on me..should I forgive and forget?

  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    May 16, 2014 5:16 AM GMT
    Ok so I met this guy at my job a coworker and he is really cute he asked me out 4 weeks Go and we've been dating ever since.one time he told me to delete jackd off my phone which I did because he didn't want me talking to other fellas. Today I asked to see his phone because I asked before to go on instagram because my phones WiFi fucks up sometimes.anyway I asked to see it and I see that he his texting other guys while he is with me.I'm so heartbroken IdK what to do.do u classify that as cheating? He told me he loved me last week but then he talks to other guys??
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    May 16, 2014 5:19 AM GMT
    What were in the texts? Was it sexual/flirty in any way?

    Also, "I love you" after only 4 weeks of dating? icon_confused.gif
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    May 16, 2014 5:22 AM GMT
    xrichx saidWhat were in the texts? Was it sexual/flirty in any way?

    Also, "I love you" after only 4 weeks of dating? icon_confused.gif
    that's exactly what I said...too soon right?. The texts varied from him asking guys if they were single to " "I want you n****"
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 16, 2014 5:29 AM GMT
    does he have a job? icon_cool.gif
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    May 16, 2014 6:06 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saiddoes he have a job? icon_cool.gif


    He said it's his co-worker!

    First and foremost, I'm really sorry to hear about that; situations like these are always so upsetting. Anyone who has ever caught their SO in a cheating-situation knows what that feeling is like to literately lose your breath over the ensuring whirlwind of emotions surging through your brain at once. In other words, it's crap.

    I've been through a similar situation with an ex somewhat recently (which creating a thread about it on this site is what actually lead to me participating and maintaining an active profile). Finding out the extent of the "questionable exchanges" is the hardest part - you may be reading one thing but hearing another. The conclusion that I've reached on that was that I really didn't need to know.

    What I mean by that is to trust your instincts and your intuition. Do you think the extent of these messages were just 'harmless' fun or do you think your bf actually had the intention of acting on these exchanges, assuming he hasn't already?

    What are your impressions of discovering that after a month, your boyfriend tells you that he loves you... but you also find he's been talking to other guys? Put yourself in third person and answer that question.

    People make mistakes. Perhaps he didn't know where the boundaries were exactly and he was just 'toying' with people. However, in my honest opinion, finding this only after a month of commitment is only a preview of what is to come.

    I dont know him or you, though, you may find that this is something that you guys could work through and that this issue is trivial compared to what you guys share. It's really a decision that you have to make.

    Either way, I wish you luck.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 16, 2014 6:47 AM GMT
    O my bad ... Well, I'm sure you've heard and read it many times over and over ... Having a relationship with someone you work with is never a good idea .... But what do they know, I've had several .... It's a bit too early in the relationship to start getting possessive, so just chill and discuss it calmly with him.
  • MichaelMz21

    Posts: 13

    May 16, 2014 9:36 AM GMT
    Get out of that. I mean... he asked you to delete something from your phone so that you couldn't talk to other guys even though he's talking to other guys himself. 4 weeks is not that long, I'd take it as a blessing that you found out early on. Red flags this early in the relationship are just a sign that it's only going to get worse, in my opinion.

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    May 16, 2014 10:36 AM GMT
    Just ask him if he is prepared to show the same level of commitment that he asks of you.
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    May 16, 2014 12:25 PM GMT
    honestly it really depends on the context of the text, if he is purposely flirting with these other guys then yea I would see those as red flags. The way I see it, if he loves you (within 4 weeks) then he really has no reason to keep that app.

    I'm dating myself, and me and this one guy are getting to know each other, I checked my app and found he's no longer there, I then found out when I was with him that he deleted the app because we are "talking".
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    May 16, 2014 1:59 PM GMT
    the OP has known this person 4 weeks not a big investment. Only because he is a co-worker i would drop him as a bf and continue to be friends.

    Generally speaking knowing someone for only 4 weeks is not enough time to let them tell me how to manage my life. Your bad for letting this happen. Sorry; never date a co-worker is a good personal rule to follow.
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    May 17, 2014 12:31 AM GMT
    Hugs buddy

    thinking you should start looking for another job before they start calling you Saran Wrap.