one year monogamous relationship and now barebacking

  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    May 17, 2014 8:12 PM GMT
    It's come to that point in the relationship. We've tested fine and completely monogamous for the last year. Last night he came deep inside me and again this morning.

    I've never done this before so I'm wondering if there's a downside to having that inside of you. Does it just ooz out or get absorbed into your system?

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    May 17, 2014 9:23 PM GMT
    the cum about a tea spoon or less worth of liquid. dont see this makes a difference.

    instead of bro science you have to look it up for your self.

    you want a faithful friend get a dog. Both you two continue to get tested. Its free.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    May 17, 2014 9:58 PM GMT
    Nothing to worry about. You can relax after though it is a good idea (and a courtesy) for the top to wedge a cum rag between your butt cheeks. If nothing else to absorb excess lube. It just feels cleaner to do that and hygienic for your sheets. Most guys want to use the toilet after but there's no need to or rush.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 17, 2014 10:00 PM GMT
    I wouldn't do it, but congrats on the year,
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    May 17, 2014 10:10 PM GMT
    May be a naive thing for me to say but if this was a straight relationship wouldn't no condoms be used ???
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    May 17, 2014 10:22 PM GMT
    I mean in a straight relationship a man would ejaculate in a womans vagina so what is the difference ?
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    May 17, 2014 10:31 PM GMT
    yeah i understand about the hiv rate but if you have been in a relationship for a year and tested negative etc it sort of speaks for its self dont it ?
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    May 17, 2014 10:35 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidNothing to worry about. You can relax after though it is a good idea (and a courtesy) for the top to wedge a cum rag between your butt cheeks. If nothing else to absorb excess lube. It just feels cleaner to do that and hygienic for your sheets. Most guys want to use the toilet after but there's no need to or rush.

    Agree. At the same time, without being a Debbie Downer...

    If you've both tested neg for over a year, and both monogamous the whole time, then barebacking is safe.

    BUT, if either of you cheats, the cheater could kill the both of you.

    That happened to both my late partner, and to my present husband's late partner.

    So you're trusting each other with your lives. As I trust my own husband, which is a lovely thing. Just be aware of what you're doing. And enjoy! icon_biggrin.gif

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    May 17, 2014 10:37 PM GMT
    Dennis89 saidyeah i understand about the hiv rate but if you have been in a relationship for a year and tested negative etc it sort of speaks for its self dont it ?


    It depends on the people in the relationship and if they are willing to put that trust in their partner to go bareback.
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    May 17, 2014 10:38 PM GMT
    As far as I understand it HIV infection is mostly a matter of blood to blood or semen to blood transmission. As far as the difference between vaginal and anal goes, I'm not in medicine but I think I understand that the colon is part of the digestion system whereas a vagina might not be, though they do look like some scary monster that could swallow the world.

    Now I don't know where in the colon digestion occurs, I would think higher up, but there were those stories of people getting high by putting drugs up their butt or whatever the fuck they were doing and that can also be a way into the body for medicating, so I'd imagine some absorption there.

    I don't know through what barriers HIV might go so maybe with status known safe enough if no cuts, but how would you know that up there? You wouldn't, so not safe.

    Boy am I glad I'm not at all into anal. That would freak me out. And certainly it would test my limits on trust. I find it very difficult to imagine myself trusting a guy to ever bareback regardless of status or history or promises. I'd probably draw that line even if that would limit my relationships.

    So if he has life-threatening allergies to my dog, I might compromise, but if he wants to bareback then he's, um, shit out of luck.
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    May 17, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    Kuestion said
    Dennis89 saidyeah i understand about the hiv rate but if you have been in a relationship for a year and tested negative etc it sort of speaks for its self dont it ?


    It depends on the people in the relationship and if they are willing to put that trust in their partner to go bareback.
    so true in that sense
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    May 18, 2014 1:03 AM GMT
    Kuestion said
    Dennis89 saidyeah i understand about the hiv rate but if you have been in a relationship for a year and tested negative etc it sort of speaks for its self dont it ?


    It depends on the people in the relationship and if they are willing to put that trust in their partner to go bareback.


    right, open relationships beware.
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    May 18, 2014 1:05 AM GMT
    owl_bundy said
    silver_bullet said
    Dennis89 saidI mean in a straight relationship a man would ejaculate in a womans vagina so what is the difference ?


    HIV infection rate is the difference.


    kiwi lifter is that you?? you sound real familiar. probably the other guy with the underwear that was slut shaming.


    Yes, it is him.
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    May 18, 2014 1:11 AM GMT
    owl_bundy saidnext time, you should ask him to suck his nut out of your asshole the next time he goes nut deep raw inside you. after all, he should know what your shit smells and even tastes like by now.


    LMFAO
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    May 18, 2014 1:12 AM GMT
    tumblr_mzacxbQvkj1rrt383o1_1280.jpg


    You're all good


    We didn't wait that long...even got tested for HPV.
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    May 18, 2014 1:13 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    Dennis89 saidI mean in a straight relationship a man would ejaculate in a womans vagina so what is the difference ?


    HIV infection rate is the difference.


    CDC Muppet!
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    May 18, 2014 1:24 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    dustin_K_tx said
    silver_bullet said
    Dennis89 saidI mean in a straight relationship a man would ejaculate in a womans vagina so what is the difference ?


    HIV infection rate is the difference.


    CDC Muppet!


    Hmmm, when was the last time you got tested?


    couple weeks ago after performing CPR on a crack head--I was more worried about the Meningitis and Hep C.
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    May 18, 2014 1:25 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    silver_bullet said
    dustin_K_tx said
    silver_bullet said
    Dennis89 saidI mean in a straight relationship a man would ejaculate in a womans vagina so what is the difference ?


    HIV infection rate is the difference.


    CDC Muppet!


    Hmmm, when was the last time you got tested?


    couple weeks ago after performing CPR on a crack head--I was more worried about the Meningitis and Hep C.


    lol
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    May 18, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    silver_bullet said
    dustin_K_tx said
    silver_bullet said
    Dennis89 saidI mean in a straight relationship a man would ejaculate in a womans vagina so what is the difference ?


    HIV infection rate is the difference.


    CDC Muppet!


    Hmmm, when was the last time you got tested?


    couple weeks ago after performing CPR on a crack head--I was more worried about the Meningitis and Hep C.


    Was the crack head cute at least?
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    May 18, 2014 1:31 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    If you continue having bare back sex with other men you need to test regularly.


    Thank you Mr. Muppet.
    From this day forth I shale.
    You may have very well saved a life yourself tonight.
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    May 18, 2014 2:14 AM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    dustin_K_tx said
    silver_bullet said
    If you continue having bare back sex with other men you need to test regularly.


    Thank you Mr. Muppet.
    From this day forth I shale.
    You may have very well saved a life yourself tonight.


    Looks like you should lay off the poppers too.


    *tries not to laugh, as KiwiLifter has no idea who he's talking to*

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 18, 2014 2:52 AM GMT
    Your relationship status says: Single
    Maybe you should consider changing ... unless your keeping your options open for something better to come along
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    May 18, 2014 3:32 AM GMT
    Dennis89 saidMay be a naive thing for me to say but if this was a straight relationship wouldn't no condoms be used ???

    Funniest shit I've heard all day, man! ROFL
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    May 18, 2014 3:52 AM GMT
    I'm actually quite astonished to read this topic and the opinions.

    It's sad to see the very poor level of trust in MONOGAMOUS relationships. I'd get that people would be scared in Open Relationships, even if both parners agreed to always play safe...

    And I also get that nothing in the word monogamous guarantees that your guy isn't playing in your back, but hell...

    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and we started barebacking about 6 months in after we both got tested. I guess the context and person helped the decision, but really ? People in Monogamous Relationship actually go years before trying it skin to skin?

    Sorry. I guess I'm a bit naïve but I just don't seem to understand how you can fear/not trust someone that you love and that loves you. It just sounds insane to me.
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    May 18, 2014 2:20 PM GMT
    Disasterpiece saidSorry. I guess I'm a bit naïve but I just don't seem to understand how you can fear/not trust someone that you love and that loves you. It just sounds insane to me.


    Good for you, seriously, but it could be that you simply have not yet been betrayed (or ya haven't learned your lesson--half kidding). I've not been betrayed in my partnerships though they were open but not betrayed in any way within them as they were my most loyal friendships.

    But I have had very close friends, friends for decades, who betrayed me beyond anything I'd have considered possible to the point that I couldn't even imagine allowing them near me again knowing now what they are capable of. Their action destroyed all of what I held as true about our past together. My entire family was stunned, not just me. These were people--one in particular--who spent a lot of time with both me and my family. I suffer trauma because of them.

    Or maybe even easier to relate to, just imagine divorce. Had you thought that would ever happen, you'd never partner with that person in the first place. And then the unthinkable happens.

    So, yeah, the unthinkable happens. Those of us who have been burned--and we are not the exception--we get it, we know what's possible.

    Maybe that in this sense is a true loss of innocence, not imagining the possibilities but knowing them. We make some adjustments. Find ways to cope. And life goes on.