Just so you know...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2009 8:18 AM GMT
    Speaking as a bisexual man I just want it to be known that there is at least one of us who is absolutely looking for a committed monogamous relationship with another man. Just because the scale of my sexual attraction is somewhere halfway between "only men" and "only women" doesn't mean that the intensity of that attraction is any less. If I hopefully find the right guy one day then that's the guy I'll only ever want to be with from then on. Alright, so no more saying that all bi guys are bad news. Thanks for letting me vent.
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    Jan 04, 2009 9:50 AM GMT
    You are quite welcome sir! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    You tell'em bro!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    Preach!
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    Jan 04, 2009 4:34 PM GMT

    Hey Pedrosxxx,

    You're not alone on this site in what you're hoping. We met a great Bi guy here who was completely smitten and wanted to settle down, but the other person, as is too often the case, backed out.

    We mentioned this on another thread recently that being Bi, you have way more options at the 'people store' than those of us hard-wired exclusively homo or heterosexual. Even though you're thinking of guys, it could be a gal that twongs your twang, eh? heheh

    Our experiences with Bis have been interesting, in that those we've met base initial love more on the person than the gender. A gal we know fell hard for a lesbian friend. The lesbian friend broke it off after five years and our Bi gal was devastated. It appears the lesbian gal couldn't deal with feelings of jealously when our Bi gal interacted with straight guys - kept worrying something would happen. It couldn't, we think, as monogamous love is, well, monogamous love, which is what our Bi gal was all about.

    Hang in! It'll happen! We'll be real happy for you whatever side of the gender fence your heart lands on.

    Doug and Bill of meninlove
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    Jan 04, 2009 4:36 PM GMT
    Go for what you want and love the person you want. Don't subject yourself to labels, titles, mechanics or anything else.

    You're not gay, not straight, and you aren't bi either--you are human.

    Good Luck and find that person you love.
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    Jan 04, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    meninlove said...Our experiences with Bis have been interesting, in that those we've met base initial love more on the person than the gender. A gal we know fell hard for a lesbian friend. The lesbian friend broke it off after five years and our Bi gal was devastated. It appears the lesbian gal couldn't deal with feelings of jealously when our Bi gal interacted with straight guys - kept worrying something would happen. It couldn't, we think, as monogamous love is, well, monogamous love, which is what our Bi gal was all about.

    Hang in! It'll happen! We'll be real happy for you whatever side of the gender fence your heart lands on.

    Doug and Bill of meninlove

    You neatly summarize my own concerns about getting involved with bi guys, which deals with stability over the long run. I confess to the belief that a bi might have more temptation to leave me, in effect twice the chance because his interests include women. I can't compete with a woman as a rival, and perhaps that lesbian feared she couldn't compete with a man.

    But you also make a very valid point that needs to be considered, that monogamy is monogamy. And given the dismal track record of many gay men in this regard, maybe it's the BI partner who's taking a risk with a gay guy. LOL!

    Thanks to online discussions here & elsewhere, I begin to have a more sympathetic view of the prejudice that bi's face. And I hope it's a 2-way exchange, that if bi men appreciate the gay concern, they'll pledge the monogamy that you rightly say is the real issue here. Now if we can just get gays to be more monogamous... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • novajava

    Posts: 62

    Jan 04, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    Yes its true for me as well...as i read the comments of Bi men on this and other sites i am beginning to see and understand the issues they have to deal with. Personally i have had toooooooooo many bad experiences with bi men and promised my self long ago that no matter how great they seemed, or how much i was attracted to them, i will never get involved romantically with a bi man again. I cant imagine how if a person is truly bi, they can cut off having pussy for the rest of their lives.(.all the ones i dated tried and couldn't). So the only solution i guess is for bi men ,( who want LTR with another man), to find another bi man or a gay man who is tolerant of open type relationships. otherwise someones def. set up to be hurt, used, of left in da dirt crying, while mr. bi man gives into his natural desire for sex with the opposite sex.
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    Jan 04, 2009 7:24 PM GMT

    kalakaua43 said, "A LTR constitutes an agreement to remain monogamous, and I don't think whether a guy is bi or gay affects the difficulty of maintaining monogamy or the chances of infidelity."


    Oops! Careful not to insult those who are in open LTRs, just as wildly successful as many monogamous couples (like us).

    You're right on the money about this point,

    "I mean cock other than the one they are in a LTR with. To me, whether one is gay or bi, there will be natural desires for sexual conquests outside of a relationship, men or women."

    ...though again we'll have to admit that wanting to pursue 'strange meat' as it used to be called in the 70s has never been a temptation for either of us.
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Jan 04, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    Pinny saidGo for what you want and love the person you want. Don't subject yourself to labels, titles, mechanics or anything else. [...]



    psst... what about thermodynamics, physics, etc? I think he still has to be subject to those. Though, if it's an elective I wish someone would show me how to opt-out of being constrained by gravity. Makin' me and my stuff fall down *all the frikkin' time, that sonofabitch. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2009 7:32 PM GMT
    Bi now, gay later!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    Ignorant now, stupid forever
  • daveindenver

    Posts: 315

    May 18, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    "ignorant now, stupid forever" hahahaha so true
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2010 5:30 PM GMT
    I've always been baffled about why many gay men find it sooooo difficult to understand or believe that some guys have attractions to men AND women, and think that this makes them incapable of having a monogamous relationship. And then they actually vocalize this ignorant, closed-minded view of sexuality as if they are so wise.