Do you borrow or lend money to your friends?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 9:03 PM GMT
    Have you ever done that?
    What is level of friendship you require to do it?
    Ever had a fight because of it?

    Share your experiences.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 9:06 PM GMT
    I used to but between 2 people I've been conned out of 500 quid so now I only borrow small amounts to close friends.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    May 19, 2014 9:06 PM GMT
    I once paid a friend's rent, which wiped me out at the time... and then he was evicted two months later, anyway.icon_sad.gif

    edit: And he was so ashamed about it that he couldn't look me in the eyes. It kinda backfired and ruined the friendship.icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 9:09 PM GMT
    It's just Money.

    Any one needs it - they can have it, no questions asked.

    It changes People if You allow it...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    Luckily, my 3 friends I have IRL have steady jobs and I don't see them very often.
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    May 19, 2014 10:25 PM GMT
    I almost never borrow money, not if I can truly avoid it. I would never ask somebody that I wasn't super close to, so, somebody who wasn't an immediate family member or very close friend (and even then i'd hate to ask, and would make sure to pay it back). I can count the amount of people i've borrowed money from in my life on one hand and still have fingers to spare.

    I do sometimes borrow money out here and there to family/friends, especially if I know they really need it, and I have it to spare for a while (smaller amounts I don't mind just giving to them if I can afford not to get it back, and i'm aware that is the case from the get-go). I have no problem with that. However, I don't like to make it a habbit, as some people, unfortunately, can eventually perpetuate an unhealthy cycle of not managing their money and spending properly, and having others enable them to stay doing so- which becomes annoying in time.

    Generally the whole 'you borrow from me anytime, i'll borrow from you anytime' relationship dynamic causes me a little bit of anxiety as it's not one that I am comfortable navigating, especially as I am rarely in dire need to borrow (which would be the only time i'd ask).

    However, I always try to help, if/when it's needed, one way or another if I am able.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 10:30 PM GMT
    I never learn. My best friend and I stopped speaking several years ago because he didn't pay me back money he borrowed from me. We didn't speak again until he was on his death bed. And last year I loaned another friend 2000 bucks because he had been unemployed for over a year and was so depressed he was contemplating suicide. He promised I would be the first person he paid once he got a job. Well, he's been employed for several months now and has suddenly stopped calling me. So that's two friends I've lost due to loaning them money. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 10:53 PM GMT
    I've lent money
    I never ask for money -
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 11:04 PM GMT
    No. Both my husband and I have "lent" money to family. Even with no expectation of repayment, in all cases it has not gone well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 11:06 PM GMT
    No, but I have given money to friends when they were in need, with the understanding that they'll pay it forward to someone else in need someday.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2014 11:09 PM GMT
    I prefer to steal it when their backs are turned. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 12:08 AM GMT
    When travelling, ALL THE TIME.
    We also repay each other at the earliest possible occasion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 12:18 AM GMT
    My friends are all in fine shape and have never asked, but if any of them got into a tight spot and needed help - I'd be right there........and I'm hoping they'd do the same for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 12:24 AM GMT
    Uggg, at work, there are a few folks that come to me like I'm a bank. I try to keep these loans no greater than $20.
    They know I realize they get paid every Friday and we have a bank in our building.. so I keep them good and honest.

    As for neighbors and family or friends, they've never asked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 12:29 AM GMT
    I have loaned money to someone I really care about. At first, I felt hesitant and uneasy about it because I think he could have done at a better job at cutting down his expenses and modifying his spending habits. He has magazine subscriptions, Tivo, cable TV, etc. I live economically and don't even subscribe to those things.

    In the end, I loaned it to him. I made up my mind that he's been there for me when I really needed him, so if he pays back, great. If not, I would not let it ruin our friendship.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    May 20, 2014 12:38 AM GMT
    I've borrowed like $5 or $10 a couple of times when I had no cash on me, but quickly paid it back. I got burned by my first house mate once when I was 18, for $400, and another time by a cousin for $100 ... I've never leant out large amounts since then. I just tell them any money I have is tied up. But I'll lend a buddy $5 or $10; however every once in a while you might have to remind someone, so now I make them write an IOU.
  • Pheo

    Posts: 198

    May 20, 2014 12:40 AM GMT
    Only if I forget my wallet. Or I lose it. Hilarious part is that it's chained to my pants, literally. I STILL LOSE IT. icon_rolleyes.gif

    The only exception was when I bought a beefy laptop, but I paid them back that same day when I was sure my paycheck finally cleared. Never leave friend's hanging.

    They've borrowed from me too, but usually they pay me back in a week or two. We've never had fights because of it. Only thing we fight about really is food.
  • venue35

    Posts: 4644

    May 20, 2014 1:32 AM GMT
    I've never asked anyone to lend me a large amount of cash.
    I know my mom once loaned about 3000$ to a very good friend of hers
    She needed the money for her husbands funeral who was a close friend of ours. Well she never gave the money back!! And she could have. She had taken trips to thailand and other places and had money but didn't want to give it back. In the end my mom stopped talking to her.
    My mom was VERY disappointed. Very shitty way to end a friendship imo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 1:50 AM GMT
    venue35 saidI've never asked anyone to lend me a large amount of cash.
    I know my mom once loaned about 3000$ to a very good friend of hers
    She needed the money for her husbands funeral who was a close friend of ours. Well she never gave the money back!! And she could have. She had taken trips to thailand and other places and had money but didn't want to give it back. In the end my mom stopped talking to her.
    My mom was VERY disappointed. Very shitty way to end a friendship imo.


    In that situation that's basically being a thief.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 2:08 AM GMT
    If I lend money I don't expect it to be returned
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    May 20, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    JarIan saidIf I lend money I don't expect it to be returned

    Then it's not lending, its just giving money away.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 2:17 AM GMT
    I lend money to my relative and she never return it,for 500 dollars,this bitch!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 2:19 AM GMT
    Are we talking Loan, Loan or that thing we call loan when it's really payment for services???

    The only way I'll loan money is if I get to do the extended "Told you so" Dance.
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    May 20, 2014 2:22 AM GMT
    David3K said
    JarIan saidIf I lend money I don't expect it to be returned

    Then it's not lending, its just giving money away.


    never said I wouldn't accept it if it was
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2014 2:23 AM GMT
    yeah, I'm stupid that way…. i 'lent' a close friend $600.00, three years ago… haven't heard from her since then.. icon_cry.gificon_mad.gif