Self-control / self-regulation

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    May 20, 2014 11:45 AM GMT
    More of the self regulation side of things as i seem to do it a bit,

    When and if you become aware of the way you are acting and speaking do you try to sort of try to hide, change, control the way you are in certain circumstances ?

    Do you do this for any reason ?

    Do you do this to stop yourself exhibiting your gay mannerisms ?
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    May 20, 2014 11:51 AM GMT
    Dennis89 saidMore of the self regulation side of things as i seem to do it a bit,

    When and if you become aware of the way you are acting and speaking do you try to sort of try to hide, change, control the way you are in certain circumstances ? Do you do this for any reason, yes ? no ? and why ?


    It all depends on the circumstance bud. Whatever you are doing, and whatever version of yourself you are portraying, just be sure it is in your control and not in response to someone else. its about acting instead of reacting.
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    May 20, 2014 12:06 PM GMT
    MK1220 said
    Dennis89 saidMore of the self regulation side of things as i seem to do it a bit,

    When and if you become aware of the way you are acting and speaking do you try to sort of try to hide, change, control the way you are in certain circumstances ? Do you do this for any reason, yes ? no ? and why ?


    It all depends on the circumstance bud. Whatever you are doing, and whatever version of yourself you are portraying, just be sure it is in your control and not in response to someone else. its about acting instead of reacting.


    I agree with that alot as sometimes i do it in reaction as for some reason i am stopping my self from making others uncomfortable icon_eek.gif
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    May 20, 2014 12:06 PM GMT
    Self control is one of the wonders of being a human. It allows us to evaluate our circumstances and change ourselves accordingly to make them better or worse.

    So yes, I do change my behavior when circumstances arise that require a change in order to achieve a more positive outcome.
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    May 20, 2014 12:12 PM GMT
    i changed the question abit lol
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    May 20, 2014 12:37 PM GMT
    silver_bullet saidI don't have gay mannerisms if the feedback from str8s is anything to go by - they simply can't tell from my manner.

    This seems to trigger some gays I meet socially who will make some random bitchy comment like "OMG I bet you are a bottom!", or "OMG!!! You are SO gay!". Then I'm like "bye bye mind game player."

    +1

    Most straight people I know have more feminine mannerisms and voices than any gay guys I know. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I have a bad habit of asking my friends "are you gay or are you British?" icon_lol.gif
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    May 20, 2014 12:43 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    silver_bullet saidI don't have gay mannerisms if the feedback from str8s is anything to go by - they simply can't tell from my manner.

    This seems to trigger some gays I meet socially who will make some random bitchy comment like "OMG I bet you are a bottom!", or "OMG!!! You are SO gay!". Then I'm like "bye bye mind game player."

    +1

    Most straight people I know have more feminine mannerisms and voices than any gay guys I know. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I have a bad habit of asking my friends "are you gay or are you British?" icon_lol.gif
    Haha icon_lol.gif
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    May 20, 2014 1:40 PM GMT
    we may have marriage equality but we havn't changed people's minds about gay and there is still a lot of self homophobia.

    does being straight enable one to more say exactly what they are thinking? Make it easier to forgive a out of place remark
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    May 20, 2014 2:25 PM GMT
    pellaz saidwe may have marriage equality but we havn't changed people's minds about gay and there is still a lot of self homophobia.

    does being straight enable one to more say exactly what they are thinking? Make it easier to forgive a out of place remark
    This is a good comment lol there is still that thing of what is normal floating around aint there.
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    May 20, 2014 2:27 PM GMT
    pellaz saidwe may have marriage equality but we havn't changed people's minds about gay and there is still a lot of self homophobia.
    I've said for a long time that our biggest challenge to equal rights is the self-loathing and/or indifferent gays who keep voting it down.
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    May 20, 2014 4:00 PM GMT
    MK1220 said
    Dennis89 saidMore of the self regulation side of things as i seem to do it a bit,

    When and if you become aware of the way you are acting and speaking do you try to sort of try to hide, change, control the way you are in certain circumstances ? Do you do this for any reason, yes ? no ? and why ?


    It all depends on the circumstance bud. Whatever you are doing, and whatever version of yourself you are portraying, just be sure it is in your control and not in response to someone else. its about acting instead of reacting.

    I agree and it's not just 'gay mannerisms' but more about the environment in which you are at the time. My general mannerisms at work are very different that when I'm out socially and both of those are very different than when I'm clowning around with my partner.

    MK makes the best point though, the actions should be your own and not the reaction of what someone may or may not think and that's not always either the easiest for us to do OR what we actually do.
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    May 20, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    silver_bullet saidI don't have gay mannerisms if the feedback from str8s is anything to go by - they simply can't tell from my manner.

    This seems to trigger some gays I meet socially who will make some random bitchy comment like "OMG I bet you are a bottom!", or "OMG!!! You are SO gay!". Then I'm like "bye bye mind game player."

    +1

    Most straight people I know have more feminine mannerisms and voices than any gay guys I know. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I have a bad habit of asking my friends "are you gay or are you British?" icon_lol.gif


    Or just European? icon_lol.gif
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    May 20, 2014 4:11 PM GMT
    KXD7 said
    paulflexes said
    silver_bullet saidI don't have gay mannerisms if the feedback from str8s is anything to go by - they simply can't tell from my manner.

    This seems to trigger some gays I meet socially who will make some random bitchy comment like "OMG I bet you are a bottom!", or "OMG!!! You are SO gay!". Then I'm like "bye bye mind game player."

    +1

    Most straight people I know have more feminine mannerisms and voices than any gay guys I know. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I have a bad habit of asking my friends "are you gay or are you British?" icon_lol.gif


    Or just European? icon_lol.gif
    btw i laugh but i am totally out on the british/european joke haha icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2014 7:57 PM GMT
    Decided to act more gay now haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2014 8:19 PM GMT
    What gay mannerisms do you exhibit?
    Most people are acting, especially when they want something.
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    May 30, 2014 8:34 PM GMT
    not many lmao was just being abit giddy haha ill just stick to salivating over some specific guys at my gym haha
  • HottJoe

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    May 30, 2014 8:44 PM GMT
    pellaz saidwe may have marriage equality but we havn't changed people's minds about gay and there is still a lot of self homophobia.

    does being straight enable one to more say exactly what they are thinking? Make it easier to forgive a out of place remark

    I think it's a yes to all of this.
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    May 31, 2014 2:03 AM GMT
    I'm lucky in some ways that I don't notice how I speak or act so I just say what I like how I like. I've never noticed a conscious difference but that is not to say my voice/mannerisms do not change. As far as I know they don't change though.
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    May 31, 2014 2:07 AM GMT


    most people don't give a shit icon_rolleyes.gif